Continuing with my little thought explosion on homeschooling, I'd like to again offer the disclaimer that I am explaining my views and desires and not attempting to make anyone feel badly or lesser for their choices. I am not an expert on life or education and certainly not an expert on what's best for YOUR child. I am simply relating my experiences and opinions in regards to my own life and family.
After all, so far it should be evident that what has formed my opinions is experience. Not just my own experience, but others' experience as well. Experience can be a powerful, valuable thing. Overall, I had a positive experience with being homeschooled. While my experience with teaching my own children started out rocky, it has blossomed into something positive and wonderful as well.
However, experience alone is not the best way to make a decision. The Bible says that "there is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death" and warns us that the "heart is deceitful above all things" (so much for the worldly advice to "follow your heart" and let your emotions be your guide!). It's not that it's wrong to consider feelings, heart, experience, and all that, it's just not a complete picture. So following experience SOLELY, even good experience, can lead the wrong way. For instance, back when we were babies, the harmful effects of formula were still relatively unknown and most kids were formula fed. Most of those kids turned out 'fine'. Fine, of course, being totally subjective...and one never knows the potential that could have been reached otherwise, but still. If this experience solely informed new mothers of today, there would hardly be the growing momentum to breastfeed babies that there is, scientific evidence or no. Or we'd still be giving babies whiskey for their teething pain. Make sense? Experience, even if our perspective on our experience is positive, can be misleading. It's only a tool, it's not the sum total.
Another example is how negative experiences can color what is essentially a good ideal or action. For example, the mother who struggled to breastfeed her first child may not even bother trying with her second. We know that "breast is best" and mothers with more than one child will tell you that every baby has a different nursing story...some babies are natural and some aren't. A bizarre real-life example--to me, at least--are the homeschoolers who did not enjoy or didn't have a good experience being homeschooled and thus decide that they won't do their own children the disservice. This is so strange and confounding to me, because the parents are largely what control that experience. Therefore, the homeschooled girl or boy who wishes not to homeschool have apparently not realized that they are capable of making better choices than their parents did. In other words, the only way they would be passing on the disservice is if they acted the same and treated their children the same way, not whether they homeschool or not. Illogical, emotional reasoning gone awry!
On the flip side,the same is true with objective or studied or proven information. My friend shared a great quote the other day: “Beware of cut-and-dried theologies that reduce the ways of God to a manageable formula that keeps life safe. God often does the unexplainable just to keep us on our toes -- and also on our knees.” -Warren Wiersbe
So often as parents and educators, we like to think that a + b must always = c when it comes to our kids. It may keep enterprising, opinionated writers well paid, but there is no special secret or method or formula! Preying on our fears and our inadequacies, we become convinced that if only we do these steps, our children will turn out perfectly. Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way. Trying to boil down parenting or life to a simple formula ignores some very basic truths and realities...how different every child is, for example, and that what works or appears to work for one child may produce an opposite result in another child. Or, ignoring that children are people too, with their own ideas, needs, perspectives, quirks, strengths, and weaknesses. That all people are imperfect. There is no perfect parent, and no perfect child. Ignoring that you can't control everything...you can't control how your child perceives things, or every single thing they see and hear and think and do. There are simply far too many variables.
To say, then, that homeschooling is the absolute panacea for keeping Christian kids in the faith is unfortunately misleading. Similarly, the belief that sending Christian kids to public school will strengthen their faith *because* of the questions and opposition as well as the kids being a witness and light to the kids around them is also steeped in error. Or, the idea that you are safe by sending your kids to a Christian private school (or Christian college!) will keep them safe from wrong influences. A friend of mine who grew up in private Christian school used to say that she'd never send her kids to private Christian school because it was MORE dangerous for the faithful than public school, and she oughta know because she grew up with all of those kids! Some parents send their kids to Christian school hoping the school will reform them, after all.
In my experience, homeschoolers grow up to be their own people, just as public schoolers and private schoolers do. I know homeschoolers that came from wonderful, godly, Christian backgrounds who grew up to be atheists, and public schooled children that grew up to be missionaries. However, I would have to say, also from my experience, that most of the homeschoolers I know kept their godly faith (in fact, the vast majority) and many of the kids who were public or privately schooled didn't--or at least not in the way their parents wanted them to. There are studies to back this phenomena up, and certainly, common sense. It's not just my experience that informs me of this, but a collective experience and data. However...
What I'm getting at is that there are no guarantees in life. Certainly, we are called to do the best we can with what we have, and God makes it clear that we are responsible for the knowledge He has given us. I also believe He gives us the experiences He does for a reason. This is where trusting God comes in...and using our hearts AND our heads.
I've already given a portion of the heart behind our decision to homeschool our kids. Naturally, there are other things I haven't discussed--like how I want the best for my kids, and since facts, data and experience informs me this is the best, this is what we will do. You know, normal parenting stuff. I love my kids and want the best for them. I've discussed how I want them to be involved in our family and free to make friends, how I want them to have a fun childhood that is free of fret or too much adult-ness too soon, how I want them to keep the faith and keep their innocence. After all, having flexibility and freedom of time enabled me to spend more precious time with loved ones I have now lost and cannot spend time with on this earth. Having flexibility and freedom/quantity of time afforded me with many opportunities and experiences I would not have otherwise had. It protected me from the negative side of peer influence until I was mature enough to handle it. I want my kids to have access to the best quality education. I want them to enjoy their childhood without drudgery, and worry less about the ways they may not measure up aside from working to better themselves. I want them to develop a culture of curiosity and a passion for learning. And I didn't want to miss out on an opportunity for me to grow and be more humble, selfless, and godly.
As I said in my last post, going through our struggles and the realizations I came to, all the more objective reasons for homeschooling made more sense. Some of which I will share in the next post on this subject. ;) To catch you up...
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
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