Apples and Posterboard

With all of the recent posts on homeschooling, I figured I might as well share about our first day!

September is usually a month of review for us. I try to cram in one month what we learned in one year in regards to basic subjects like math and reading. Sometimes this spills into October, sometimes it doesn't. Again, we learn year round, but I don't do a lot of formal or focused schoolwork with Sparrow from June til September.

We learn a Bible verse and a hymn a week, or so is the plan. ;) This year I am struggling with what I want to teach about civics and patriotism, so while normally we would start with the pledge of allegiance, we didn't this morning. These things typically begin our structured learning for the day.

Today we did some work in workbooks...it is my younger daughter's first time with 'preschool lite' and to my surprise she adored working in her book...she wanted to do every page! ;) We'll see if it lasts!

Sparrow in the grass, working on phonics/logic activities	First workbook lessons!

This year we are doing two unit studies-one on our state's history and one on seasons. So we are doing a unit on autumn at the moment. For the month of September, we are learning about apples, which will actually fortuitously dovetail into our state history studies. But the beauty of unit studies are just that...they can dovetail into just about anything. Learning about the season of fall, we are learning botany and biology, weather and climate, and relating it to many other subjects as well--such as art, history, cultures, math, grammar, reading, anthropology, environmental, Bible, etc. Field trips will abound. And it will all take place in the every day beat of life, as we observe it happening around us.

With the unit on our state, we will be learning history and geography primarily, but it will of course lend itself to all the other subjects as well, and also be a natural outflow of simply living in the state.

I am certainly looking forward to all the field trips and activities I have planned for this, as well as all the delicious apple-related food we will consume. For October we will be doing pumpkins and squash; for November we will be learning about cranberries and root vegetables like potatoes.

So today, we celebrated the beginning of the school year proper with apple treats...sliced apples with caramel dip, pure apple juice, and cinnamon-dusted apple chips. :)


We also used some sliced apples for a stamping project. We made some gift bags and wrapping paper for the apple-related treats we plan on giving to some people in a few weeks. The girls had a lot of fun with this...and I was glad we were outside, because it was QUITE messy!




This is the first year I have done anything 'formal' with my younger daughter. Now that she's four, we'll step up some of our Montessori work and explore some math and phonics concepts, as well as learning in our fall/state units what she can :) I am not a huge fan of formal learning for kids her age, but she REALLY wants to do what her big sister is doing, thus the workbooks and such. So technically, this is her 'preschool' year...and what would a preschool or kindergarten be without a giant colorful calendar?!



I couldn't find any calendars that I liked, much less could afford. So I made one. Someday I will make a fully reusable fabric calendar. But for now, our poster-board one will suffice. I can use it at least twice, anyways ;) The white squares will be filled in with what we're doing that day (like, gymnastics lesson or HRC), and represent the days yet to come ('white' is still very blank...those days haven't been written yet, get it?) and indicate holidays coming up, etc. The green apple is the current day, and we'll record observations on it like the temperature and weather. The red apples represent a completed day. They are actually pre-shaped post-it notes, which work perfectly for my purposes...we can peek under the green apple to see what we are doing that day, and peek under the red apples to remember our observations for comparison (or under both to see what we did that day). I also splurged on the sparkly letters, which are attached with tape and fully reusable.

All in all, it was a promising beginning to our school year! :)

Homeschooling versus Public School--My Journey part 4

My final little thought explosion in this vein, at least for now. ;) Again, I want to point out that while I do use strong language here and there, I hope you remember that I am talking about my convictions and how I got there. MY convictions, MY reasons, and MY beliefs. I'm not saying they have to be yours. I hope you can hear my heart, that I am simply trying to do my best with the knowledge and experience God has given me, and that my convictions are strong because I've become convinced. And when you are convinced of something, you are hardly wishy-washy in regards to it!

My own experience of homeschooling gave me some good perspectives and tools that enabled me to pass that gift on to my children. But as I said in my last post, experience alone does not a perfect teacher make. And as is the case for most of the parenting choices my husband and I have made, a careful examination of the facts and realities concerning school became necessary. My fuzzy feelings alone cannot dictate the paths we set our children on, nor Hubby's. He was public schooled the whole way through, and it quite convinced him that public school was a waste of his time and an ineffective means to socialize or learn. Still, we must make our decisions wisely.

The Function of School
One of the first realities I began to look at was the function of school in the life of a child. What was the goal of school? What benefits did it have in the immediate? What benefits in the long term?

Much is made of 'socialization'. But looking at the structure of public school, it is clear that it is at a disadvantage for socialization. In fact, it is not set up on that level at all. Any socialization that happens is subliminal and subconscious; the function of public school is not to socialize or moralize or parent children, but to give them an academic basis of knowledge and skills to develop a whole, thinking person and guide them toward a productive and full adult life.

That is quite a packed paragraph, if you didn't catch it. I could write entire entries on each sentence. What kind of socialization do children receive in school? Children are not permitted (although of course, it happens anyways) to play with their friends all day long, to speak in class unless they are invited to and acknowledged through a raised hand, and they spend the majority of their time with one particular adult throughout the day and one particular set of children who are of the same age and skill range that they themselves are. There is really, truly, very little socialization that goes on in this stifled environment. Recess is quickly becoming a thing of the past, but even so, recess is a short amount of time compared to the amount of time kids are supposed to be staring at the teacher or working in their books or on a project. Certainly, there are some benefits to all of this--group learning, taking turns, how to get along with a group of people, listening to authority figures, etc. But most of the socialization that takes place is not necessarily beneficial at the time, and most certainly doesn't transfer to any point later in life.

In contrast, homeschooling encompasses all of the beneficial things that can be learned in public school, socialization-wise, but eliminates the disadvantages. Almost any disadvantage in homeschooling can be accommodated for, and homeschooling is fluid, varied, wide, and more immersive than public school in terms of a well-rounded social experience. John Holt, a noted author and educator, once commented: "If I could give just one reason why children should NOT go to public schools, it would be the socialization they receive there. In general, the kind of behavior one finds most often in schools is petty, cruel, and mean-spirited."

I discovered that public and private school--the very model of it, in addition to the practice of it--can actually hamper proper social development, while homeschooling was repeatedly shown to enhance social skills. In part, this is due to the sheer amount of hours kids spend in the public/private school environment learning, modeling, and molding to a particular way of life...versus the amount of time homeschoolers are interacting with others. As I said, a lot of what is absorbed is subconscious.

I don't doubt that there is serious intent and indoctrination in schools, but I also think that it is mostly unintentional on the actual individual teacher/school level. But intentional or not, the teacher's values seep into the classroom. How your child is corrected for misbehavior, and how that misbehavior is defined, is out of your control. Research has certainly shown that kids need quantity time, not just quality time, and if the majority of that quantity time is spent with peers similarly mature and with teachers, they become the biggest influence-bigger than parents--and it can indeed be a very negative thing. After all, teachers and schools don't support what you teach your children at home; you are instead encouraged to support what the schools are teaching!

And if you think about it, it makes logical, common sense. Sure, research backs it up, but it makes sense. Kids are in school all day with those people, and then your interactions with them are largely 'secondary'. They do their homework, we all eat dinner, bath, bedtime routine, get 'em up in the morning, etc. What time is there *left* to educate children on morals, faith, citizenship, etc.? Not much, apparently. And the sad part is, research also shows that the best indicator for adult success and staying away from bad choices isn't school experience, but parental involvement.

So, while socialization is clearly not the function of school, socialization, behavior modification, and morality training happens regardless...even if it is a shoddy afterthought in the institutionalized school system. We contemplated this, and decided that we'd rather go with the option that allows for improvement in social skills. After all, how often have you heard someone make a comment about someone else's maturity level in terms of "junior high"? For us, homeschool wins points here, but I have heard this dismissed because socialization is not the primary goal of education. If that is not the primary purpose of school, then what is? Arguably, it should be academics.

Unfortunately, I did not find much better news here.

Just recently, a study came out that found homeschoolers to be on top in every way academically. But this is really just a drop in the bucket...consistently, for years now, homeschoolers have come out on top in terms of standardized testing, college levels, and low drop-out rates. This is mostly regardless of how 'smart' the parents are, their income level or level of schooling.

That's pretty compelling, for me. If academics is the purpose of school, then I want my child to have the best chance at a good academic education. And increasingly, public and even private schools do not fit the bill. I already know that the options available and opportunities are greatly increased with homeschooling, and my own experiences, but now I had the research and statistics to back up my presupposition that if I homeschool my children, they have a better chance in life. And I believe part of this is because the focus of school and the focus of homeschooling are very different.

Education versus Momentary Performance
Interestingly, there has even been a backlash in the institution of school against how it functions. If you've ever heard of Waldorf or Montessori, you are familiar with at least two of many educators and learned professionals that veer from the status quo.

As our system stands, what is taught is mostly taught for the purpose of passing tests. A long time ago, I discussed my issue with this as well as my issue with grades. The problem with teaching to a test is that it leaves out a lot of background information, and is not meant for longevity. A momentary performance in time is no measure of the academic capabilities of an individual. And so I realized that my standards for education run more along that of Montessori or other such educators. School as it is does not promote a culture or curiosity or a lifetime love of learning; instead it squelches it into a mold and regiments it to an arbitrary standard.

Homeschooling, in contrast, can engage the child in an education of the whole person. There is no schizophrenia in how I teach and how we live; no worries about whom is supporting whom and what and if the messages are consistent, quality, and agreeable to our values. And it can happen contentedly all day, every day. I found that public school indeed educates the whole person, but in a fragmented, confusing, and incomplete fashion. Homeschooling is uniform and complete in its presentation.

Uniformity in public school was a problem for me; because children of the same age were expected to perform in certain ways and excused in others without regard for individuality. Uniformity in homeschooling just means a consistent message. Instead of worrying about whether my child is falling behind and thusly labeled, or feeling prideful because she is ahead (and thusly labeled...or frustrated because she is ahead but her age prevents her from tackling the challenges she is capable of), I am able to go at her own pace.

Another concern for us, along these lines, was living out our faith in terms of teaching our children. While I don't believe there is a specific mandate to homeschool, I did not see how we could expect our children to remain godly while most of their education wasn't, and how we'd be able to consider the mandates in scripture regarding parenting.

Deuteronomy 11:18-23, for example: "Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land that the LORD swore to give your forefathers, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth. If you carefully observe all these commands I am giving you to follow--to love the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways and to hold fast to him--then the LORD will drive out all these nations before you, and you will dispossess nations larger and stronger than you."

This is just one scripture that stresses the need of consistency and constancy in teaching our children. It seemed to us that it would be hard to accomplish this if we were abdicating our responsibilities to the state, and handing our children over to others to teach. And, looking at both my own experiences and also statistics, I knew that homeschooled children keep, explore, and flourish in their faith in greater numbers than their other-schooled counterparts. I mentioned in my last post that it is not a guarantee of success, but it certainly helps. The National Home Education Research Institute has found, through various studies, that a frighteningly greater amount of homeschoolers keep their faith, in fact.

My goal for my children is ultimately this: to love the Lord their God with all of their being, and to love their neighbors. Even if they are dummies who can't tell right from left, the most important thing in life is not how they are educated or what level of education they have, but their eternal destination. And while they will, indeed, grow up to make their own decisions, while they are small it is my duty to steward their experiences and shepherd their minds for His glory. For us, this means homeschooling. We just simply can't see how, for our children, we could accomplish that which God asks of us unless we have the time and opportunity to do so, while keeping them safe from wrongheaded attitudes and experiences.

So we homeschool them, with love, tears, prayers, humility, awe, and sincerity. We pray that one day they will look back with fondness on these years, and look forward to many precious years together before they fly the coop.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 3.5

Another excellent post that highlights many of the same subjects I covered in this post: The Case for Christian Education

A Meandering Preamble to part 4 in Homeschooling vs. Public School

Continuing with my little thought explosion on homeschooling, I'd like to again offer the disclaimer that I am explaining my views and desires and not attempting to make anyone feel badly or lesser for their choices. I am not an expert on life or education and certainly not an expert on what's best for YOUR child. I am simply relating my experiences and opinions in regards to my own life and family.

After all, so far it should be evident that what has formed my opinions is experience. Not just my own experience, but others' experience as well. Experience can be a powerful, valuable thing. Overall, I had a positive experience with being homeschooled. While my experience with teaching my own children started out rocky, it has blossomed into something positive and wonderful as well.

However, experience alone is not the best way to make a decision. The Bible says that "there is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death" and warns us that the "heart is deceitful above all things" (so much for the worldly advice to "follow your heart" and let your emotions be your guide!). It's not that it's wrong to consider feelings, heart, experience, and all that, it's just not a complete picture. So following experience SOLELY, even good experience, can lead the wrong way. For instance, back when we were babies, the harmful effects of formula were still relatively unknown and most kids were formula fed. Most of those kids turned out 'fine'. Fine, of course, being totally subjective...and one never knows the potential that could have been reached otherwise, but still. If this experience solely informed new mothers of today, there would hardly be the growing momentum to breastfeed babies that there is, scientific evidence or no. Or we'd still be giving babies whiskey for their teething pain. Make sense? Experience, even if our perspective on our experience is positive, can be misleading. It's only a tool, it's not the sum total.

Another example is how negative experiences can color what is essentially a good ideal or action. For example, the mother who struggled to breastfeed her first child may not even bother trying with her second. We know that "breast is best" and mothers with more than one child will tell you that every baby has a different nursing story...some babies are natural and some aren't. A bizarre real-life example--to me, at least--are the homeschoolers who did not enjoy or didn't have a good experience being homeschooled and thus decide that they won't do their own children the disservice. This is so strange and confounding to me, because the parents are largely what control that experience. Therefore, the homeschooled girl or boy who wishes not to homeschool have apparently not realized that they are capable of making better choices than their parents did. In other words, the only way they would be passing on the disservice is if they acted the same and treated their children the same way, not whether they homeschool or not. Illogical, emotional reasoning gone awry!

On the flip side,the same is true with objective or studied or proven information. My friend shared a great quote the other day: “Beware of cut-and-dried theologies that reduce the ways of God to a manageable formula that keeps life safe. God often does the unexplainable just to keep us on our toes -- and also on our knees.” -Warren Wiersbe

So often as parents and educators, we like to think that a + b must always = c when it comes to our kids. It may keep enterprising, opinionated writers well paid, but there is no special secret or method or formula! Preying on our fears and our inadequacies, we become convinced that if only we do these steps, our children will turn out perfectly. Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way. Trying to boil down parenting or life to a simple formula ignores some very basic truths and realities...how different every child is, for example, and that what works or appears to work for one child may produce an opposite result in another child. Or, ignoring that children are people too, with their own ideas, needs, perspectives, quirks, strengths, and weaknesses. That all people are imperfect. There is no perfect parent, and no perfect child. Ignoring that you can't control everything...you can't control how your child perceives things, or every single thing they see and hear and think and do. There are simply far too many variables.

To say, then, that homeschooling is the absolute panacea for keeping Christian kids in the faith is unfortunately misleading. Similarly, the belief that sending Christian kids to public school will strengthen their faith *because* of the questions and opposition as well as the kids being a witness and light to the kids around them is also steeped in error. Or, the idea that you are safe by sending your kids to a Christian private school (or Christian college!) will keep them safe from wrong influences. A friend of mine who grew up in private Christian school used to say that she'd never send her kids to private Christian school because it was MORE dangerous for the faithful than public school, and she oughta know because she grew up with all of those kids! Some parents send their kids to Christian school hoping the school will reform them, after all.

In my experience, homeschoolers grow up to be their own people, just as public schoolers and private schoolers do. I know homeschoolers that came from wonderful, godly, Christian backgrounds who grew up to be atheists, and public schooled children that grew up to be missionaries. However, I would have to say, also from my experience, that most of the homeschoolers I know kept their godly faith (in fact, the vast majority) and many of the kids who were public or privately schooled didn't--or at least not in the way their parents wanted them to. There are studies to back this phenomena up, and certainly, common sense. It's not just my experience that informs me of this, but a collective experience and data. However...

What I'm getting at is that there are no guarantees in life. Certainly, we are called to do the best we can with what we have, and God makes it clear that we are responsible for the knowledge He has given us. I also believe He gives us the experiences He does for a reason. This is where trusting God comes in...and using our hearts AND our heads.

I've already given a portion of the heart behind our decision to homeschool our kids. Naturally, there are other things I haven't discussed--like how I want the best for my kids, and since facts, data and experience informs me this is the best, this is what we will do. You know, normal parenting stuff. I love my kids and want the best for them. I've discussed how I want them to be involved in our family and free to make friends, how I want them to have a fun childhood that is free of fret or too much adult-ness too soon, how I want them to keep the faith and keep their innocence. After all, having flexibility and freedom of time enabled me to spend more precious time with loved ones I have now lost and cannot spend time with on this earth. Having flexibility and freedom/quantity of time afforded me with many opportunities and experiences I would not have otherwise had. It protected me from the negative side of peer influence until I was mature enough to handle it. I want my kids to have access to the best quality education. I want them to enjoy their childhood without drudgery, and worry less about the ways they may not measure up aside from working to better themselves. I want them to develop a culture of curiosity and a passion for learning. And I didn't want to miss out on an opportunity for me to grow and be more humble, selfless, and godly.

As I said in my last post, going through our struggles and the realizations I came to, all the more objective reasons for homeschooling made more sense. Some of which I will share in the next post on this subject. ;) To catch you up...
Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Summer Turns to Fall...Time to Pack Away the Sundresses and Revel in the Memories

This summer was probably one of the best and busiest I've had in a long, long time. I didn't get a chance to do every single summer-related thing ever (I'd hoped to put both girls in swim lessons, we didn't go camping with the mister, and a few other little things), but overall it was lovely. During our spring unit, we grew some green beans from seeds. Quite happily, they did wonderful and produced well...





Our tomatoes, however, did not do so well. We had more sun and more hot days than usual this summer, as well as some scorching temperatures, and they just wilted in the heat. However, they sure grew prettily for quite awhile...





My herbs and flowers did quite well, fortunately.


Truly, one of my favorite things about summer is that it is just teeming with life. Spring signals new life, but summer begins the bulk of the harvest, and there is just so much delicious produce to cook and eat!

Homemade Mango Salsa

We spent a lot of time with friends and family, from various outings to weddings to family camp and birthday parties and holidays and...oh my. We got our cowgirl on...




And celebrated many things. Last summer had many, many heartaches. This summer had heartaches as well, but oh so very many joys. It was very refreshing. We made kind of a really big deal about the girls' birthdays this year...
A swimming-themed party for Sparrow


Plus a visit to a theme park nearby...


For my just-turned-four-year-old (!!!!!!), a gymnastics/ballet-themed party


And a visit to the stables


This summer truly was full of love and laughter. It was busy, but there was plenty of relaxation and peace as well. I am so grateful!

Homeschooling vs. Public School: My Journey part 3

When I was young I assumed that I would homeschool my children. I fully believed it was the "right" choice in all circumstances (oh, the naivete of youth) and that it would come naturally to me and be easy. It turns out, God has a sense of humor and enjoys using it to humble His children ;). I can say that when it finally came time to dip my toes into the world of formal education, I freaked. I suddenly had millions of doubts, and agonized over whether or not it really was the right choice for Sparrow.

After all, I am not the most organized or disciplined person in the world. Out of my many failures and besetting sins, laziness and slothfulness are my arch enemies and a constant fleshly struggle. To teach another, one must not be constantly spontaneous but have goals and routines and plans. There wasn't quite the abundance of materials when I was in school; now there is a plethora of not only materials but methods and schools of thought on education. I felt totally lost, and totally apprehensive. How do I wade through the vast, VAST resources at my fingertips and choose the right method and materials for my oldest?

Another concern I had was finding like-minded people and friends for Sparrow. You see, when I was growing up, we were involved in plenty of co-ops and lessons and activities so we never lacked for social stimulation. To my great surprise, there was both a lack of types of co-ops that I had when I was young and an abundance of BIG homeschool groups. I like homeschool groups like I like church...small, involved, and personal. Complicating this was the fact I was the only mama I knew that was homeschooling. NONE of my other local friends with kids were. Growing up, we went to churches where homeschooling was the norm. So I felt alone and isolated. And Sparrow is an incredibly social soul, and very gifted in the art of making friends. I wanted to encourage those hospitable, evangelistic traits in her.

Kindergarten was a hard, hard year in which I questioned our decision over and over. Despite trying out several groups, I just couldn't find a good fit or any firm friends. We took classes at the rec center, but Sparrow was frustrated by a lack of consistency in the friends and people she encountered. I was totally lost when it came to interacting with my daughter in a "this is school" fashion, and worried whether I'd be able to be a good teacher for her. I felt like a failure constantly.

By the end of the year, I decided to do some real soul searching and praying and figure out what I was doing wrong. Maybe *I* was wrong, and the right thing for my child would be a private or public school after all. Maybe I was just not the type to be a good teacher. Maybe I was harming myself and my child by trying to hang on to a principle that just plain didn't work for us in reality.

Oh, how I cried, and begged God for wisdom. How fearful my heart was! And yet through it all, my husband and I felt strongly led that homeschooling was the way for our kids. By the end of summer, I had made some important discoveries and revelations, and had found a solution to my social problem. By the end of first grade, we had made friends and had begun to find a good rhythm, and I knew we had made the right decision. And as we just wrapped up second grade, I am more confident than ever in our synergy as a family of learners and in our abilities to succeed, with God's help and blessing, in this endeavor.

So what changed?

The first thing that changed was a big ol' cosmic spanking. I realized that instead of allowing God to work through the task given me to die to my flesh, work through my weaknesses and become strong, I was giving IN to the weaknesses. One thing God has consistently taught me through parenting my own children is that parenting is an enormous opportunity to learn how to put others first. To learn how to give up my rights (not in a bad way, but in a self-centered me-first way), to die to myself, to give of myself, and to trade my weaknesses in for strengths. I've long said that I find it a shame when moms and dads parent their newborns out of what's best for the parents and not what's best for the newborns, because they lose a tremendous opportunity for personal growth as well as subconsciously teaching their children that their needs aren't important compared to mom or dad's desire to sleep or not be attached to a suckling child.

What a hypocrite I was to shirk my responsibilities to my children because it was "hard"! Because I didn't feel "up" to the task! Sparrow and I are a lot alike, so we butt heads sometimes. Yet, who else truly understands her but me? Not a teacher she gets to know over the course of nine or ten months, not the neighbor down the street. Sure, sometimes it's hard to see the forest for the trees when you are in the midst of it, but that keen awareness and understanding I have of my child (heightened by my own self-awareness) is not rivaled and cannot be duplicated. My husband and I have a better understanding of her learning needs and her needs in general than anyone else. It is better to have the outsider's perspective add to mine, rather than my perspective add to the outsider's objective and yet incomplete one.

God promises us grace and strength in Him for the tasks He appoints to us, so for me to say I was unable was a lie in a way. Furthermore, I realized that I was losing out on a tremendous opportunity for personal growth. I could throw up my hands and say "let someone else deal with it!" or I could let God mold and change me through my parenting challenges into someone LESS lazy and slothful, and someone more appropriately ordered and organized. The easy road is almost never the right road, after all. And it HASN'T been easy. There are things I am still working on, and getting better about. But every year has been a vast improvement, and I quite enjoy our journey...even the hard parts.

It is easier for me to shirk my responsibilities as a parent than it is to parent, and easier for me to shirk my responsibilities as a teacher than it is to teach. Another thing I realized, however, is that teacher and parent are one and the same. However you choose to access an education for your children--public, private, or home--you begin teaching them from the womb on. While sitting down with textbooks and purposefully learning about the Declaration of Independence is a little different than the organic learning that happens as you go about your day, there needn't be such a distinction and delineation between the roles. While I do believe that discipline in such matters and structured, formal schooling is a good thing in measured doses, I have come to embrace the unschooling side of myself and try to approach all of our educational experiences as organically as possible. Instead of having a 'time' of learning in the mornings, I want us to develop a culture of curiosity and to be always learning and thirsting after wisdom and knowledge. Instead of compartmentalizing our lives so crisply, I want learning to be natural and simply a part and process of life that takes many different forms.

Key to this was me embracing that I was already doing this, if imperfectly. I read to my children, discipline my children, point out the wonders of the world...just add some math drills and guided learning topics and voilà! School! Secondly, I realized that if I really wanted this ideal for my children, the ONLY place it could *effectively* take place was in our home. I truly felt that putting her in a 7-8 hour school day plus homework would not be joyful learning, but drudgery. And I just couldn't bring myself to do that to her.

Once I had taken the pressure off of myself--that I needed to look at my weaknesses that held me back from doing a good job as an opportunity for growth, that I did NOT have to do it all by myself and be perfect at it from day one (like any teacher is perfect!), that I was already doing it anyways, and that it could only happen with me--all of the other reasons I had for wanting to homeschool in the first place began to make more sense. But that is a topic for another day.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3.5

Part 4

Homeschooling versus Public School--My Journey part 2

Continuing with yesterday's thoughts, a few more top reasons I love that I was homeschooled. Again, this isn't about me telling you what to do with your kids, this is just background information for why I feel the way I feel. This is about MY choices, not anyone else's.

4. I had access to the best quality education. And I didn't even bankrupt my parents to get it! My mom was very wise when it came to what she could and couldn't do, and the things she couldn't do, she outsourced. Because of our time and schedule flexibility, this meant she could find the best teachers possible for whatever activity or discipline or subject was needed.

I was very grateful for this later, as I heard horror stories from my friends about their teachers...teachers who had majored in history but found no employment in their field and ended up teaching math, teachers who were jaded and didn't care, teachers who were underpaid and overworked. In contrast, my teachers and tutors were knowledgeable about their subject, motivated, compensated, relaxed, and unharried.

The beauty of homeschooling is that a "fit" between teacher and student is already built in! God gives our specific children to us because they are meant to 'fit' in our family. If you think about it, what else is the role of mother or father *but* teacher? We begin educating our newborns without even thinking about it, and I really believe that God is interested in the details and has a plan and purpose for every life. This meant that my mom was the perfect fit for a teacher for me, even if it wasn't always smooth or easy. And believe me, I'm sure there were times she doubted our fit, haha, I wasn't always the perfect child :D We butted heads from time to time, in part because we are a lot alike!

One area I struggled in (and continue to) during school was math. Mom was successful in explaining math to our other siblings, but for some reason, I just struggled. It wasn't until college that I was diagnosed with a math-related learning disability, which made things make a lot of sense. I have a very mild form of it, apparently. The most telling signs were that my math comprehension was high always on tests, but my math application was low. And I was constantly switching symbols and numbers. Algebra was the bane of my existence. I understood in theory how to perform algebraic equations, but every single problem looked different to me.

At the time I was in school, it wasn't a widely recognized or diagnosed issue (although it is related to dyslexia) so that's why, despite tutors and numerous tests, we didn't catch it until later. But I am so thankful I had a mom who didn't give up on me and instead tried just about everything to help me (in addition to manipulatives and other curriculum we tried, we finally to my delight abandoned Saxon for Math-U-See and things really began to click for me). In contrast, I watched friends struggle with subjects and never really catch up, because school is taught to a group of kids, not an individual.

So part of why I believe I had access to the best quality education is that it was tailor-made to me. My strengths were strengthened and encouraged, and my weaknesses were strengthened and taught to. My mom had seven very individual pupils, but was able to spend one-on-one time with them. Again, the things she wasn't comfortable with or knowledgeable with she could easily outsource to a quality professional. In the case of me and math, I needed extra help and that's OK. Not a reflection on her at all; in fact, two of my siblings have *severe* dyslexia. She successfully schooled them into confident readers and speakers, and one of them went on to give an address at her graduation (she graduated with honors), and if you know either of them you wouldn't guess it at all.



And the other reason is because I believe, again, that God put us in the families He did for a purpose. My mom is truly the best mom I could have, and I was the best me she could have. God knew what both of us needed to grow and thrive, and saw fit to pair us together. Furthermore, my mom was interested in making sure I succeeded. Instead of a bored or overworked teacher looking after 50 kids, I had a loving and concerned one who had plenty of time to tend to my specific learning needs. And as a bonus, she was a constant in my life from year to year.

Of course, another bonus of this was extra time with Dad. He, too, was hands-on with our education. At one point he helped me with math, for instance, since he seemed to be able to explain it to me in a way I could grasp better. He also took it upon himself to school us in logic and critical thinking skills, buying books and sitting with us as we did puzzles and brain teasers and learned the finer points of reasoning. My mom and dad are very different, and therefore we got a good balance. As already mentioned, my Grandpa B also contributed greatly to our education and he was different from either of them, as well, and had a different way of teaching and explaining and different focuses.

Sometimes you get a really great teacher, and the next year you get a bad one. There's no way to really control this, and no real way to 'fire' the teacher. You could always roll the dice again at a different school, but what happens the year after that? In contrast, when we had a teacher that didn't fit for whatever reason at, say, ice skating lessons, my mom was totally free to find another one quickly and easily. This is what I am thankful for about my education. I experienced all of that first hand when I went to college; I had some professors that were wonderful, and others who were clearly not in to teaching despite it being their profession. I'm so glad that I had a good basis of knowledge and a good understanding of my learning styles by the time I reached higher education.

5. It saved my school career and possibly my life. I often shudder to think how different things would have been for me, how differently I would have turned out, if I didn't have my parents to champion on my education.

One thing I have not mentioned here is my period of homeschooling wasn't all the way through. I actually started out in traditional school. Dutifully, my mother sent me to preschool, then half-day Kindergarten. I really enjoyed Kindergarten. It didn't take up my whole day, and we spent most of the time playing. I learned things there that I still remember today. I liked my teacher enormously. But I did miss my family, and my free time. I didn't know any better, however, so I went along with it.

When I started first grade, however, things changed. I went to a small private Christian school, and I had another great teacher. I liked HER enormously too. Our class size was small, so we all got some individual attention. My peers were largely from Christian families with similar values, and while there was definitely some cliques and such already, nobody swore or disrespected the teacher. But instead of a few hours a day playing with friends, it was "all day", sitting in a hard seat and being bored out of my mind. And I do mean bored. I remember spending most of the time lost in my own little imaginary world *because* I was so bored. I remember the time the teacher caught me pretending to "eat" the grape charm off of my charm bracelet (anyone remember those?!)...I was pretending to be one of the Greek gods and was being fed grapes by my attendants. She confiscated it, and I was so distraught. I was embarrassed at being caught and corrected in front of everyone, and after that I was known as "the weird kid who talked to herself".

This was enormously damaging to my self esteem, and while I had many friends, they began to dwindle because I was "weird". Kids can be brutal when there is no corrective adult presence. The other issue was, I didn't appear to be learning anything. They decided to test me, and they called my mother in for a grave conference. They explained to her my low intelligence and that I was, in fact, severely dyslexic and would never learn to read.

This shocked and puzzled my mother, for she knew I was perfectly capable of reading. She had employed the program "How To Teach Your Baby To Read" with me and my brother B with success. It turned out, those skills had atrophied while I was in Kindergarten NOT using them. Because they naturally assumed I couldn't read and didn't in those days have any kind of reading readiness, we just focused on other things like shape recognition and colors. And so in first grade I was so bored with learning things I already knew, and wasn't interested in, that I had become very confused.

I'm a little fuzzy on what all went down, but what I do know is my mother refused to accept this about me, and immediately pulled me out of school and began researching homeschooling. At the time, there weren't comprehensive programs for learning-disabled children, so her choices were either to let me continue to struggle and be labeled, or to homeschool me. She bought the program "Sing, Spell, Read and Write" and went about re-teaching me both the basics of reading and a love of learning. By the end of the year I was consuming chapter books (Nancy Drew, Little House on the Prairie and the Boxcar Children were favorites of the time). By the end of third grade I had developed a fondness for Shakespeare (even though all the innuendos went right over my head, haha) and read many of his plays. In fact, I became a voracious reader and read nearly every volume in both my parents' library and my Grandpa B's.

I'm so glad my mom didn't give up on me, and so glad she took my full-time education on herself. I wouldn't have accomplished what I did in life without her help and wisdom.

6. I was able to enjoy my childhood without drudgery. I love the theories of education that shun formal, structured school until children are 8. While I haven't done that personally, and neither did my mom, I do believe that we foist an adult-like lifestyle and schedule on children far before they are ready for it. Way before Waldorf, Montessori, and Mason were 'hip' my mom was finding ways to engage our senses and encourage us to explore our world. I am just so grateful that I got to spend most of my day engaged in play...I believe all play is ultimately productive, but a good bit of that play was what others consider "productive" play. It wasn't a wasted experience.

One of the elderly ladies we befriended through the Friend to Friend network had a saying: "You are young so short, and old so long. Enjoy your youth!" This dear old lady would tell us this every time we came to visit her. It was like she had to desperately impart this to the children. She never asked us about lessons, she asked about what fun we were having. And it's true. There is time enough to transition into adulthood, and to begin a career. I don't really think that transition needs to begin at three. All of childhood is a slow slide toward responsible adult, to be sure, but I mean that having all the constraints of a career (must be here at such and such a time and stay, whether you want to or not, until such and such a time, five days a week) without having hardly any of the benefits just seems unnecessary to me.

On the flip side, being at home and playing gave plenty of opportunities to transition into adulthood in a natural, gentle, friendly, and appropriate way. We helped prepare food, had chores, played with babies, observed elder care as my mom cared for her ailing grandmother. It was my job to fix Great-Grandma E's cornflakes in the morning. She liked it a particular way, and at ...I think I was six? seven? well whatever age I was, I took great pride in assisting her this way.

By the time I was 10, I could confidently care for kids, change diapers (both cloth and disposable, my mom used cloth exclusively though), make breakfast lunch and dinner, balance a checkbook (I learned that from my elderly neighbor, Mrs. M), garden, order my activities for the day, organize my own lessons, plan and host a party and be a hostess, clean the house (not that I hardly did...sorry Mom!), and a whole host of things that every adult needs to learn, regardless of vocation. And in fact, I was already a very proficient cook. One year I made my parents anniversary dinner, because I knew they didn't have money to go out. So my sisters and I made up a dance for entertainment, I phoned my Grandma M to bring a dish of her scalloped potatoes, I baked a roast and my brother made a salad (or I did, I know someone did...). I saved up my pennies and bought some fancy sparkling grape juice and made a new "wine" label for it. We decorated the kitchen and tried to give them a memorable anniversary, with my sister and I dressed as 'waiters' and trying our best French accents out. I wasn't even ten at that time, I think I was 8 or 9.

Of course, kids can learn these things no matter what their educational situation is, but the point is, I was immersed in these things, and they were relaxed and fun. And because I had so much time to play, it made the 'work' of life easier and more exciting. School was a fun challenge, not drudgery (OK, except for math) and chores and schoolwork took up very little of my day. This is not a reflection of the quality of learning, either; I find it an experience across the board that homeschooling just simply takes less time to learn the same material.

These are just a few of the reasons my own homeschool experience has informed me and encouraged me toward choosing this for my own kids. I could really go on and on, but I think for the next post I'd like to discuss why I chose this for my children specifically.



Part 1

Part 3

Part 3.5

Part 4

Homeschooling versus Public School--My Journey, part 1

As we are about to begin yet another year of schooling at home, I find myself reflecting on what brought us to this decision. I love homeschooling for so very many reasons, and believe that it is in general a far better option than public school or private school. I have seen so many people make "impossible" situations work for homeschooling (single moms, for one). Every time I hear a story about that, it just blesses me because I do believe often times it is the best option for children to be with their parents and not their peers for the majority of their day. I am not God, and I can't know or comment on every experience and situation. I can see how some people would find it to NOT be ideal in every circumstance. I'm not here to judge that, or to write a persuasive essay on why everyone should homeschool. This isn't about me trying to give my opinion about your decisions. ;) Your decisions are between you and God. I have reasons for thinking and feeling and believing and acting the way I do on this subject, but rather than an informational essay on the awesomeness of homeschooling, or a scary news article about the declining state of education, I want to talk about my journey. I'm not here to proselytize.

No, instead I want to talk about MY decisions and MY feelings and beliefs...the whys and the whats. For instance, one of the biggest reasons I homeschool is because I know the benefits first hand--I WAS homeschooled. Some of the best things about my childhood came of this, and I really believe it prepared me for life in all of the ways that public school is supposed to, and did a better job of it. Additionally, I feel like it prepared me for life in ways that public school can't, but are necessary life lessons nonetheless. Not that I am perfect or have arrived, or that I didn't have a season of rebellion. I did. But I had a wonderful base to come back to, and a foundation with which to build and rebuild my life that I would have been desperately lost without. My top reasons for appreciating and loving that I was homeschooled:

1. I got to spend more time with the people I loved. This became especially pertinent when we suddenly lost my Grandpa B. We lived with him until our house was built, and then he moved in with us. He was a huge part of my life, and he naturally became part of our homeschooling experience. I can't even describe how precious that was to me, and I will always cherish him sitting with me as I completed another stupid Saxon drill (OH GOSH HOW I DESPISE SAXON MATH), how he encouraged my interests in biology and science, how he never missed a soccer/baseball/basketball game or a ballet performance. He helped me with my science projects, and he taught me a lot of things both in and out of the context of 'school'. At one point, when we were in a short season of time that my mom had to work at a hospital, he presided almost entirely over our education. It's not that grandparents or parents don't or can't do these things with their kids if they are in public school, but often times they are just on the sidelines and not at the helm--and moreso, the AMOUNT of time, the INVESTMENT of memories and the relaxed quality of it all was the important part. When you love someone, every second you spend is precious. When you lose someone, you don't have an opportunity to spend more precious seconds with them.

Losing Grandpa B when I was a teen was one of the hardest things I have ever been through, and I mourned that my younger siblings wouldn't have as many opportunities to share those things than what I did. But I was thankful, and still am, that we all got to soak up his wisdom, knowledge, love and care through our homeschooling experience. I wouldn't trade that for the world. It was so important for us to have spent that time with him. We didn't know when he'd be taken to heaven; it was a sudden and unexpected event. But as I translate my experience into how I parent, I hold that thought...I don't know when I will be taken, when my parents or siblings will be. Do I really want my kids to be away from us for the majority of their waking hours? If I didn't have the opportunity to spontaneously trek the kids to Grandma M's for breakfast whenever we pleased, I think I would mourn that keenly when she trades her earthly body for a heavenly one.

When you lose someone important like that, it really makes you aware that what is TRULY important in this life is love. God's love and love for others. Relationships, the only thing we take with us into the next life. I believe our memories are a part of who we are as well, and therefore it is important to invest TIME and make good MEMORIES with the ones you love.

Homeschooling offers the flexibility and the time to do that. And time is short; we don't know the day or the hour. The more time we can spend with friends and family, the better. There is much to be learned from the older generations, as well, and the family dynamic (both the immediate and singular family unit of mom/dad/kids and the immediate family of aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins plus extended family) is both the building block for a good society and a place to really learn how to live in harmony with everyone. You just can't pack that into a few rushed hours in the evening and weekends.

2. I had more opportunities for a wider range of experience, and a better platform to more fully explore my interests and strengthen my weaknesses and non-interests. Homeschooling meant that I wasn't locked into any particular curriculum, or limited by time in regards to extracurricular activities, nor limited by the extra or intra-curricular activities set by the school. It's incredible what an extra 7-8 hours of time a day can unlock in terms of how you spend the day's potential. We had years where we didn't do much, and years where we did a lot. I have no idea how my mom kept up with 7 individual schedules! I do know that had we all been in public school, just the fact that there *were* seven schedules would have greatly limited our opportunities--because again, there is only so much you can pack into the few hours before a healthy bedtime and on the weekends.

I'd like to point out that this is one reason we laughed heartily at the snide suggestions Mom was shortchanging us on "classroom experience" and "socialization" and "peer experiences". Believe me, I still got plenty of "classroom experience." I think I had more friends in childhood, I mean honest-to-goodness-best-friends, than I do now. I had more TIME to have friends, for one. I was lucky to have some friends in the neighborhood who also homeschooled, and one of the beauties of homeschooling is that it doesn't TAKE seven hours to teach all the appropriate subjects to one child...so we got to go have fun for hours until my school-aged friends got home. Then we played with them. I met so many people constantly, in so many different kinds of situations, in so many different ages and stages, that I was not locked into one way of relating to people. Instead, and I have seen this with other homeschoolers as well as my siblings--I find that I am able to easily relate to and converse with just about anyone, no matter how extreme our differences. At no point in life will you ever been in a pack of your peers, so the fact that I was rarely subjected to that was a blessing, not a curse.

I had an opportunity to witness this in action when I went overseas on a mission trip. The first part of my trip consisted of a seminar/conference for the organization I went with. This organization was sending out missionaries all over Europe, and gathered all the different teams together for debriefing and training.

All of the women slept on mats in a huge, HUGE gymnasium at the college hosting us. On the very first day, (on the bus from the airport in fact) I met two young Korean women. I smiled and conversed with them and was generally pleasant. The next meal we had, I saw them and asked if I could sit with them. They were astonished that I wanted to, and I asked why. You see, they had already been at the conference center for a few days, and I was a late arrival. The big group of Koreans all came from the same church and were all going to different places in Europe, but none of them had perfect English. Furthermore, their English was American-English, not British-English and most of the other people in the conference were European. Therefore, they had huddled together and had felt very lonely and frustrated, not always understanding what was going on. Meanwhile, not ONE SINGLE ENGLISH-SPEAKING PERSON HAD APPROACHED THEM. I was shocked. I *had* noticed already that just naturally, people had arranged themselves into peer groups mostly by country, but everyone was at least friendly with each other. In the gym, the Korean women were far over in the corner, and the rest of us were more clustered loosely together. I decided this was not good, so I sat with them at breakfast and talked to them. At lunch, I did as well. By the end of the day, I had a veritable fan club of Korean women who were asking me what this word and that word meant and telling me over and over how much my friendly smiling face and helpfulness meant to them. They invited me over to their corner, and I moved my bed over and hung out with them the rest of the week. By the end of the week they had taught me the Korean alphabet, and had called me "little sister." They even gave me the honor of referring to them as "big sister". By the end of the week, I had invited more English-speakers along on our free time adventures and shared meals, and had helped my dear Korean friends integrate into an English-speaking world.

I really credit this to my upbringing, and to the Lord's favor and hand in that particular situation. Just a little bit of kindness and obedience on my part. Later, a few of the English-speaking girls admitted that they had pretty much ignored the Koreans because they didn't know how to interact with them as they spoke mostly Korean to each other and it was out of their comfort zones.

But I digress. Like I said, homeschooling provided me with more opportunities and gave me a readiness to take on different situations (like a bunch of Koreans in unfamiliar and uncomfortable surroundings who needed a friend to bridge the language gap) and a hunger for learning. My hunger for learning was nurtured, not squashed, while homeschooling because I was given opportunities to learn a variety of things and also explore them as deeply as I could. Certainly, I was made to learn certain things I could have cared less about (MATH). There was opportunity for me to learn the valuable life skill of undertaking a task I did not wish to undertake, and to do so with excellence. But there were far more hours of the day to not be forced into learning but encouraged in it. I appreciate my wide background almost every day, and hold invaluable my love of learning and quest for knowledge.

I realize that "more opportunities" sounds subjective, and it is. I am speaking from my observations and experiences. There are definitely public schooled people out there who have had far more opportunities and experiences than I did growing up, and homeschooled people who had less. I'm not talking about absolutes in this case, I'm talking about potential. More time per day plus an entirely flexible schedule means more opportunities in common sense thinking. :) A homeschooler's schedule is entirely customizable and the possibilities that open up with the time and flexibility are nearly endless.

3. I kept my innocence for a long time in the ways that mattered. Anyone that knows me knows I had a period of rebellion, in which case I did not keep my innocence. However, by the time this occurred I was nearly an adult, and these things were my poor choices rather than choices made for me by the peer group I was in, or due in particular to any failure of my parents. It was all my failure and my sin, for sure.

But I really value the care-free childhood that I had. Things like sex and drugs didn't even appear on my radar until much later other than my parents talking to me about their dangers. And because there is alcoholism in our family and I am who I am, I am REALLY thankful that my parents drilled these things into me. I never became a drunkard, never used drugs, and tried out the smoking thing but abandoned it because it was so gross and I felt so guilty.

But back to the childhood. Instead of worrying about bullies and peer pressure and all that sort of thing before I was old enough to really deal with it effectively, I worried about whether the "Little House on the Prairie" series did the books a great disservice by being so totally inaccurate. :P My mother was a pro-life activist and a staunch defender of the unborn, and even at an early age I knew in a basic way what an abortion was and why it was an anathema to God. My parents were involved in various ministries, and even just by themselves did a great many charitable things.

What I'm getting at is, instead of having my innocence shattered by my peers and my bad decisions over petty things, I kept it, and kept a sunny outlook on life despite being aware of some of its horrors. Instead of focusing on myself and how to make myself popular or happy, we made little craft projects and cards for the forgotten elderly in the nursing home around the corner. Instead of developing a worry about whether my chest size was adequate, I helped my parents serve meals to the homeless.

It's not that public school children don't get opportunities to serve, or that these things can't be done by anybody. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, homeschooling gave me a right perspective on life that I appreciate even more so today. My parents did their best to keep us God-focused, and others-focused rather than 'me-centric'. As a parent, I find this to be a constant battle. Because we are all sinful little creatures, and our natural tendencies are for selfishness and me-centeredness. So I'm thankful that I only had to navigate the ropes in the security and safety of my parents' oversight and that my big worries were on things that mattered, and my small worries were on the natural things of actual childhood and not the advancing sexualization of the younger set. And as a parent, I particularly appreciate that they took so much of their time and their lives to help me navigate these things. As a parent, I want to do the same for my kids--therefore, it makes sense to me to spend the majority of their time with me, not just learning ABOUT these things but making service part of our normal daily lives while at the same time protecting them from things they aren't ready for.

I think this post is already too long, so I will sign off for now.

Part 2

Part 3

Part 3.5

Part 4