Oh Baby! It's "The Office"

One of my guilty viewing pleasures is NBC's "The Office". I look forward to the maddening antics of Michael, the sweet romance of Jim and Pam, the overall hilarious and well-matched cast, and the repeated theme of messing up and redemption. But I, like many other empowered birthing and breastfeeding advocates, was nervous about the episode about the birth of Jim and Pam's first baby. Typically, births are portrayed as frantic emergencies, all the interventions known to man are upheld as good and necessary, and everything about it is frightening. Precious few times is breastfeeding shown, mentioned, or positively portrayed.

I say empowered, by the way, because while I fully believe in natural childbirth and its benefits, and that medicated births are riskier and dimmer (and lead the way toward an unnecessary section), and c-sections are to be avoided unless medically necessary, I don't believe that it is impossible to have an empowered birth apart from DIY at home. I think it's perfectly possible to have an empowered, educated, mama-driven birth that includes complications and epidurals and even surgery. Sometimes, those things are necessary. Natural childbirth is normative, but we are not promised a perfect road with every birth, and sometimes it just doesn't turn out that way at all. I believe a woman does not have to be at the mercy of her situation, but in tune with it. And if that means something less than the soft-glow deliciousness of a drug-free homebirth, then it does.

****Spoilers ahead****

So I have to say, kudos to the writers at NBC and Pam Beasly for portraying such an empowered birth. There were things not to like, but over all I thought the natural birth message was positive and realistic. I felt relief and joy through the episode, instead of wincing every ten seconds. She's having contractions? It's not an emergency, she's fine. Her water broke? It's ok! Still fine! They even portrayed transition, in the scene where she loses control and feels she can't do it. Which is very, very typical. It's a sign that baby is imminent, and it was time for them to go.

The only part that had me wincing was the L&D nurse. I know there are many wonderful doctors and nurses out there whom are knowledgeable and supportive of breastfeeding. Sadly, if the birth boards I frequent are any indication, plus my own experience and that of many of my friends and family, are any indication, not all L&D nurses are created equal. I was very frustrated by my L&D nurses with Sparrow, who kept pushing me to give her a bottle. Who snapped at me when she nursed for 45 minutes straight (normal for a newborn) that she needed to take my blood pressure and I was going to spoil my baby. Who warned me, after jabbing her with needles, that if I nursed her for comfort all the time she'd use me for a pacifier (as if there is something wrong with that!).

Kudos, again, to the writers for having Jim and Pam stand their ground. Pam was educated (which the L&D nurse openly scoffed at...!!!!), refused to send her to the nursery, and when they got in trouble asked for a lactation consultant instead of trusting the "many babies do just fine on bottles" nurse whose lactation training was likely all of two hours.

I seriously had to resist screaming at the screen. I'm glad that the nurse wasn't portrayed as the hero or the all-knowing one. In fact, and yes again I know there are many great L&D wards, I'd say that she was pretty darn typical. I suppose what makes me so angry about it is just that...so many of those doctors and nurses have an "I know what's best for you" attitude, and can't abide any patient who knows what they want and are well educated. I have a relative who is a nurse, and she was excited when a position opened up in L&D. She didn't last more than a week, because she couldn't stomach how awful the other nurses were to the natural birthers and breastfeeders. A friend of mine's relative is a nurse in L&D, and has reported that the nurses take bets on how long the natural birthers will last before crying for an epidural.

Some support.

Which is, you know, their job and all.

But it's just so much easier for them to manage your birth for you...it saves them time and effort, and protects them in case of medical emergency from any liability. Never mind that interventions are risky and often *cause* medical emergencies. I can't find the online versions, but I've read articles and OpEds in nursing/medical magazines that literally talk about the frustration of 'uncooperative' natural birthers when it's just so much easier to manage them when they are hooked up to all the machines and stationary.

And it's just so much easier for them to shove a bottle in your kid's mouth than bring them to you for feedings, or waste time answering your questions.

I just couldn't understand why that nurse wanted to take the baby away from the new parents. I mean seriously, she kept trying to bring her to the nursery. Didn't offer a bottle, but told them she WOULD give the baby a bottle. And they could try later...even though baby was hungry NOW. What in the world?! And her comments about nipple confusion and the bottles line were maddening.

But again, I'm so pleased that they stood their ground. Ladies, it pays off. The look on Pam's face when baby Cecilia finally mastered her latch was priceless. Sometimes it's a hard relationship to get going, but don't give in at the first sign of trouble. Get help, and be persistent. It pays off. Don't let yourself be at the mercy of professionals who don't have time for your every need; educate yourself. And don't be afraid to stand your ground for what you feel is right for you and your baby. I assure you, it's good practice for the next 18 years. ;)