Homeschooling

It's funny how things change over the years. People are like wine, you know...they get better with age! Or they are supposed to, anyways.

This year was the first year we were seriously considering sending one or both of our kids to public school next year, for a variety of reasons. I don't actually have a huge issue with public school, as I've said before, I just believed that it wasn't the best fit for our family or my kids. I wanted to be able to model and teach Christ as much as possible, I wanted to prevent them from growing up too soon, I wanted to give them a quality education, I wanted them to have a childhood, I wanted to preserve our relationships and nurture it so it could stand alone when we are empty nesters, I wanted them to love learning and develop an innate desire for knowledge, and I wanted the peer transition (which is a healthy and necessary part of childhood) to happen at a natural rate and not a forced rate. By that I mean, as kids grow, they begin looking to other sources as authorities and influences, and this includes other teachers and especially their peers. This is normal, and a sign of healthy psychological development. However, from my research I believe that our current educational system forces this development too soon and in detrimental ways.

So the little thought exercise in "will we, won't we" was very interesting and helpful, as we both examined what we believed, and figure out what we still believe.

For example, I'd never thought of myself as being "overly sheltering". In fact, despite some language I've used before, I don't actually believe it's good to over-shelter your kids. I think it's important to expose them to different ideas and experiences. I think it's really great to do that when they are young, because they'll talk to you and reason with you. As I've said before, though, eventually the goal is that they learn to think for themselves, and stand on their own feet when it comes to dealing with the constant barrage of information we live in. But, my husband began to worry that we weren't adequately preparing them for the larger world outside our cozy little home.

We ultimately concluded it wasn't the case, but it was so good to really examine everything at the core. Why did we feel the way we feel? What were we doing? Was it adequate, exceptional even? Was it out of good desire or fear?

I realized recently that in explaining why I want to homeschool my kids to people, I've used language that could be easily misconstrued, or at the very least, sounded like platitudes of movements I'm not actually connected with. So, it was good to examine...do I actually believe those things? Did I arrive at this conclusion through my research and my own prayer, or was *I* influenced by something else or motivated by fear or selfishness? Reading over some of my old entries, I cringe. Not because I have changed my mind, so much, but the way I conveyed my heart was misleading, perhaps. Or, simply ungraceful. I hope that people don't mistake confidence for ignorant fear-mongering, but sometimes confidence sounds very arrogant indeed.

I'm prepared to homeschool my kids all the way through high school. But, we've always said that might not be what's *best* for our kids, and so we've always been open to other options. I really, honestly, take it one year at a time. I almost put the kids in school two years ago because of family circumstances that made things very difficult. I'm actually glad I didn't, but you know what?

My kids would have been fine. Thrived, even. And that's the conclusion we arrived at...if we put the kids in public school next year, they would both do just fine. They would be happy, they would thrive. Even though it would be a little early for my taste (Ginger will only be in second grade...the thought of 2nd graders having to sit for so many hours and then have *homework* makes me weep), it would be ok. It would be a HUGE transition for Ginger, though, and that's why we ultimately decided against it for her. I think it would be just way too much. This year we are involved in two different co-ops. Two days a week, we are gone from early in the morning til late in the afternoon. And it's been a stretch and strain for her. So I can't imagine her doing even *more* sitting, and doing it three more days a week. It would stretch and grow her, and like I said, she'd probably be fine. But I also believe it could be too much, too fast. I don't want to break her. :)

For Sparrow, for me what it came down to is she didn't WANT to go. She's built a large community through her different activities, and made some friends that have been friends for years. She doesn't want to give that up. Also, she'll be in 6th grade next year, which is middle school. That is *such* a crazy year for girls, and I really felt like she could use the extra time with me, and with friends she already has. She makes new friends constantly (I can't keep up!), but I think it would be a little overwhelming to be low man on the totem pole at such a critical self-esteem building year and have to start over. Furthermore, the middle schools around where we live? NOT impressed. They aren't really the most stellar examples of public schools, and I hear horror stories constantly from friends who go there. It's very hard in middle school to transfer to an out-of-district school or even a different school in your general neighborhood, and the one she'd most likely end up at is the worst of the bunch. Huge, huge school with huge class sizes, gang/violence/drugs/promiscuity problems, low test scores. No thanks. :)

I don't believe public school is the enemy, and it's going to steal your soooooouuuulll if you send your kids there. I don't believe it's unChristian. I don't believe it's wrong. Or, that private school is wrong or bad.

But after much wrestling and prayer, we realized we still believed that homeschooling was the *best* option for our kids. I like homeschooling, and they like being homeschooled. We all love it, in fact. I still believe that I am giving them a superior education, and a more well-rounded one. I still believe that this is the best way to maintain a healthy connection to my kids while slowly letting go of control. Someone once told me that the bittersweet reality of parenting is that your job is to let go, and it begins the day they are born. It's true. The goal is to produce healthy, independent individuals. So to that end, you start off feeding them and changing them when they soil themselves. Eventually, you don't need to control their bathroom habits. Eventually, they can put food in their own mouths. Eventually, you don't always control all the food they put in their mouths, or cook all of it. Eventually, they make all their own food choices. This is good, this is healthy. But I believe that it's a process, and homeschooling allows me to gauge that process. Hold them too tightly, and you hurt them. Hold them too loosely or let go too soon, and you hurt them. I feel confident about how well we've done with this so far.

I feel a lot of peace about our decision, and I'm thankful that I don't have to be locked into one way through fear or ignorance. :) We really do have the freedom to do what's best for our kids. I'm thankful for that.