Ordinary Life, Extraordinary God

Summer Fades to Autumn Once More

2011-09-14T23:40:00.000-07:00

Fall is my favorite season, but it really only edges out the other seasons by a smidge. I love spring, summer and I even love winter...though I confess much of my winter love is colored by Christmas and Valentine's day...;)

I feel like we hit the ground running into summer this year, and we really packed it full of happy memories. I wouldn't call it a restful and relaxing summer, though, and I'm a leeeeeetle bit concerned that I haven't properly "recharged". Usually by now, I feel rested and recharged and ready to take on a new year of school and the busyness of the holidays. Usually by now, my school supplies are all ready and I've been giddily planning for weeks. Usually by now, I've already decided on themed gifts for Christmas.

I wonder if the darkness of last summer--and in fact, this whole year--pushed me to try and frantically eat up every sunny golden moment. As much as it was busy, it was also very blessed. It may not have been relaxing all the time, but it sure was fun! I'm concerned that I will burn out quickly, having not fully recovered, but I am also grateful to have been so *present* this summer. And on the other hand, perhaps the lack of 'recharge' I feel is due to the very exhausting events of the past year. It's interesting, to me, how one of the most painful years of my life produced one of the best summers.

We started easing back into more formal school this week, and I am happy with our baby steps back. I have much to share, for things are changing and I have taken on quite a lot. It will be stretching, and good. We are in a transition year in more ways than one. This is Sparrow's last year of elementary school, and we are trying new things and making decisions about old things.

One last look at summer, however, before the leaves turn and the days darken and we are in the thick of learning and life...I want to treasure the sacred and beautiful moments we were given.

Nearly ever day, we did *something* summery. Many days that just meant a dip in our complex's pool. Often, we walked a few blocks down to a local park and played with neighborhood families. I also made it a goal to visit a new or not-often visited park or beach at least once a week.

We also did plenty of...

...shopping at farmer's markets and visiting cultural or local sites--for fun and in fitting with our educational philosophy that all of life is learning and experiencing.

We had many playdates with friends...I feel as though I wanted more, even, and a few friends we only saw once or twice all summer. But overall, I believe we are blessed to overflowing with a diversity of friendships.

We even went camping with some friends...

...and made LOTS of s'mores! Or "snores", as Ginger called 'em...this particular picture was not taken during a camping trip, but at our "end of summer" family BBQ.

Speaking of family, we added quite a few new members! Two babies born and three weddings, one of which the girls participated in...

And the girls even starred in their own physical comic book which culminated in a themed birthday party.

It was a beautiful summer...full of happy memories. Stark, in contrast to the painful things going on around me; but beautiful nonetheless. A friend once quoted that she believed beauty will save the world, and in a way it's very true. Beauty certainly carried me through a difficult season, and I am humbled and grateful to the Lord for such a gift.

So goodbye, bittersweet summer. Summer which was mostly sweet, and always busy. Autumn is knocking at my door, and I feel readier to embrace its different beauty.

Telling the Truth

2011-06-04T10:35:00.000-07:00

Recently I've heard some things about myself and my family that would be amusing, as they are utterly ridiculous, if it wasn't being passed around, assumed, etc. and being used to damage relationships and malign our characters. Things like, I'm just trying to be divisive, or have some kind of agenda or vendetta against a particular person so I'm just trying to destroy their lives. Things like, we like drama for the sake of it, and are bringing up something from the past already gone and done and taken care of. Things like, we are here for vengeance and making ourselves feel better, not for love and reconciliation. Things like, we didn't come to a wedding because there was a child out of wedlock.

All totally rubbish of course; and if any of the people thinking and saying these things would but ask to hear our hearts, I know it would be cleared up in two seconds flat. But apparently people prefer to close off their minds and hearts and ears. Apparently, people think it's acceptable and ok to rip a beloved grandchild out of the arms of her doting grandma, whisking her out of the room while shooting that grandma evil looks and slamming the door in her face, much to her bewilderment.

"There are two sides to every story." A wise man listens to both before making his determination of what to believe and what to do. Since things that have been going on for the past six years (for me, only three, as I only became aware of it three years ago) have recently become public, it's interesting to me who is choosing to ignore one side. I can kind of understand, though. When I first became aware, I was in shock, and while I didn't exactly disbelieve, I was sure, based on what I knew of the person in question, that there was more to it. So I listened, or tried to. For six months I tried to reach out and kept my interactions inclusive, loving and understanding.

Soon it became clear that there was no interest in repentance, reparation, or reconciliation or even discussing what had really happened, though it was implied and then confirmed that the 'side' of the story I had heard was correct. In fact, I was told that overtures had already been made and things had already been done to correct the problem, so three years after the fact, why was I even bringing it up? Unfortunately, those claims of correction were easy to prove false. And then, a series of past events was revealed and further present events unfolded before me that brought into sharp focus what we were really dealing with.

It's amazing the lengths people go to enable their own sin to continue.

"Therefore, if your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector." Matthew 18:15-17

Fast forward to now...we learned of a greater, deeper involvement a few months ago, and through much prayer and wise counsel, tried to live out our beliefs. Grace. Mercy. Truth. Justice. Compassion. Understanding. Matthew 18. I can say, with an absolute clear conscience, that neither I nor the family members pursuing true and actual reconciliation acted in a manner unbecoming to Christ. I can say with absolute conviction and surety that we were all following the lead of the Holy Spirit in this matter. The truth must be told; to protect those involved, and to protect others from being preyed upon.

Now, there's a difference between speaking the truth in love and spreading gossip. Gossip is NEVER loving or productive, even if it is 100% true. I'm not a person of many secrets. I can be too bold and brash, I can err sometimes on compassion and sometimes err on conviction. I've made mistakes in life. I'm a fairly open book. But not everyone is, and everyone deserves dignity. Everyone's personal sins, perhaps even public ones, are not fodder for discussion. I don't believe it's possible to have a totally pure heart and motivation in the human sense THIS side of the veil, but we better be sure that our intentions are honest and godly in telling the truth. Most of all, they must be loving. If it doesn't serve a greater purpose, the purpose of love, what are we but clanging symbols and annoying noise? Destructive hooligans, even?

Sometimes, though, the truth must be told. It took six years for it to get to this point; six years of contemplation and prayer and counsel. And also, of trying every conceivable alley of attempting to resolve this privately. Essentially, our hand was forced at the end, but still we tried to do the right thing before God and for all involved, even if they couldn't agree on what that was, or couldn't understand why we were doing the things we were doing.

In my email to a pastor involved, I wrote the following (with uncovering details and names omitted):
First, I want to pause and once again communicate that I am not writing to shame anyone, or condemn anyone. I'm not trying to even a score, or even that I think (he) is an evil human being beyond redemption. I don't think that. I think he is a broken individual who desperately needs the *right* kind of help, and due to the secrets kept, has not received it. For this I feel partly responsible. It is not love to be a stumbling block, even if 'doing nothing' is that stumbling block. I also feel worried and terrible that other people potentially have been harmed, not knowing that piece of his character and trusting him before he could rightly be trusted. Wounds in the dark fester, but in the light there is healing. When you keep a secret like that, for so long, it cannot help but to hurt you. It certainly has harmed us; it has broken our family up in myriad ways and divided us. ... Furthermore, I would love to see him, a brother in Christ, fully restored and functional. I now realize that cannot happen until he gets help, and he won't get help when he has people to cover for him...

And as much as we can love and forgive as Christians, these actions cannot be ignored, explained away, or 'covered over.' Even if this was an isolated incident and that's all that had every happened, for true love and mercy and compassion to occur, true contrition and repentance and justice needed to have been served. But, it wasn't....

I can honestly say that I was motivated by love when I took the actions I took. And though you, or others, may not understand or agree with the actions I took and the actions my family took, please don't assume they were for malicious or ungodly reasons, or that our aim, our goal in productivity, was anything but true and REAL reconciliation.

Consistency

2011-05-31T10:48:00.000-07:00

His eyes are red. He walks with his head down. How could he be called in, yet again, to a meeting with the pastor? Didn't he already explain? Wasn't his declaration of repentance enough?

He stops just outside the door, hesitating. He can feel his ears burning, they must be as red as his cried-out eyes, and for the same reason-shame. Shame he has felt, over and over. That one mistake never is just that--left in the past, left at the foot of the cross. Instead he is raked over the coals. It had been years-YEARS!-yet it was as if that one failure would haunt him forever. It was trying to mark him. Just when things had finally been going well. Just when it was almost over, the nightmare was almost behind him.

It was back. And now it was worse than ever.

He knew he was more than his past mistakes. He knew that God had forgiven him. He knew he'd tried to carve out a good life for himself, to forget, to forgive himself. He told himself about the times he'd tried to make reparation, and been shut out. He had done his part, hadn't he?

And now, walking into a new and what should have been joyous time of his life, it was back. Demanding justice. Demanding answers. Demanding he uncover his shame and yet again profess his regret. People he once trusted were now untrustworthy of his heart. People he once enjoyed camaraderie with looked the other way, whispering. People were talking about him, he could feel it. His private ugliness was now their dinner table talk.

He heaved a big sigh. What could he say? How could he face this again? What would his pastors say? He took a steadying breath, and opened his pastor's office door. Head up, chin trembling, the music would be faced and relived all over again.

I've been thinking a lot about love, mercy, justice, grace, and responsibility lately. Where does "Expel the immoral brother" and "Embrace him back into the fold" begin and end? What does loving someone well look like? Christ was as much of a grace-giver as he was a rebuker, and He had the harshest words for those who should know better. Where does that fit in to how those of us who have knowledge have a responsibility to heed it? Ignorance is one thing, but doing the wrong thing on purpose, willfully and brazenly and over and over, when is a sinful lifestyle embraced to be unsupported by those walking in holiness?

I know I don't have all the answers.

We know that nothing is impossible for God. Yet we also know He allows us to choose. We know that we are to speak in love and show mercy and grace and forgive, yet we are also to spur one another on in holiness. We say that if we are Christlike, we should show people love and kindness and forgiveness and grace and mercy. This is true. But if we are Christlike, should we not also show them godliness, holiness, clinging to what is good and abhoring what is evil? Should we not also speak out, as He did? Where does one end and one begin? If Christ forgives us, should we not also fully forgive? What does that mean, exactly, to forgive someone?

I don't have all the answers. I wrote a bit about it in my post about love.

What about Mr. Sinner above? We have all sinned and fallen short, right? How can we keep bringing up someone's past if they have resolved it in themselves or in between them and God? How is it possibly loving to uncover someone's past mistake and rub it in their face? For what, a sense of closure, a measure of 'justice'? What about the Church? What is the Church's responsibility? Does a pastor really have a right to call someone on the carpet, especially about an old, repented-of sin? Is it fair? What damage it must be doing to him, to have to rake up all those unresolved and painful things.

"We understand," they had said. Relief washed over him as his pace quickened. "We'll handle it," they said. Once again, the pettiness would be pushed aside, away from him. Would this be the final time they'd try it? He sure hoped so. "We know that you are forgiven, and we also forgive you. Don't worry about what you've done, just place yourself in God's hands and become who He means for you to be." Maybe now, with the support of his pastors, his accusers would fall silent. Maybe now he could move forward with his life. Maybe now the whispers would cease, and his friends would embrace him as they'd known him again.

No hoops to jump through, just grace. No accounting for his actions, just mercy. No worries for what he would face, just love. It seemed too good to be true. He thanked the Lord and thanked, in his heart, his pastors in whom he'd placed his trust. They had barely mentioned his sin, they just wanted to hear his side of the story. He was able to tell it without fear, and without judgment. Now, he felt free.

The story above is true. This next story is also true.

It had been years, now. She was no longer a teenager. Just a baby, on the cusp of womanhood, when her innocence was stolen from her. The man who raped her took more than her virginity; he took her sense of self. Of well-being. Of safety. Her newly 16-year-old body had known the most horrifying, insidious evil before it ever knew love.

Sometimes there were nightmares.

Mostly, she tried to forget. To put it behind her. Never did she go to the police, and refused to speak of it with the very small few that knew. Sometimes it was hard; once she saw his family, and nearly had a panic attack. Mostly it was easy. She was far away from him, from that circle of people.

Now that was about to change. Now he was back. Now he was knocking on the door of her family and demanding to be let in. What hope in this? What could she do? She didn't know, either what she wanted or what she should do. She wanted to be alone, to think, to process.

A knock on the door...a pastor's face. An olive branch from someone dear to her who was involved.

But the olive branch was no more than a new kind of bondage. "We want reconciliation" they smiled through their teeth. "We're going to let him in," they told her, feigning understanding. She felt trapped. What could she do but agree to their terms? She didn't want to do the wrong thing, and couldn't make a decision about what the right thing was. Too confused. Too much pain. They left from their ambush, and perhaps there was a sense of violation all over again.

The church, meant to be Christ's presence on earth, hadn't brought healing and reconciliation to her, but had sided instead with her rapist. Wanted to smooth it over so he could be part of her family as soon as possible. Her family, recoiling in horror, was thusly painted as wanting vengeance and not justice. Told they weren't very Christian in how they "handled" things. Mocked as crazy for wanting to wait on letting him in, wait to see if his supposed repentance was true.

His actions certainly showed he had not and would not repent. He told them he'd tried to make it right, but in fact, never had. He refused to submit himself to the authorities for justice, he couldn't come up with a way to make it right. He'd never even directly apologized to her. He'd told people he went for counseling, for help, but it was all a lie. He painted himself as the chagrined schoolboy eager to be free of his burden, but the only true part was that he was eager to be free of his responsibilities in the situation.

And now it was too late.

In one story, the church seems to triumph in its merciful display of love and grace. In the next story, the church utterly fails a vulnerable, broken, violated young woman in the name of love. They used the words 'grace' and 'mercy' as a cover-up for sin. They bullied a family broken by unresolved, unrepented for, unacknowledged sin. When it finally was acknowledged, no more than a breath of "whoopsie" given before they forced their agenda, which was to protect him and his interests at the cost of true justice, freedom and mercy. Where was the mercy for the girl? Where was the grace for the family? Why could one church seem to get it and one church fail?

They are the same church. And the two stories are actually one and the same.

Makes you think, doesn't it? It makes *me* hurt.

I believe we, as a church, need to examine ourselves when we extend grace and mercy and make sure that we are doing the right thing, in a way that doesn't cause harm. I'm not saying withhold mercy and grace, I'm just saying it might look different depending on the situation. Maybe we should worry less about our personal attachments and worry more about our personal convictions. After all, when Jesus is our moral compass, it doesn't matter who the sinner is, true love and true justice and true morality compels us to hold them accountable. It absolutely is the most loving thing to do. It doesn't matter who the victim is, true love and true justice and true morality compels us to embrace them and enable them to receive justice and closure and grace.

Anything less is the machinations of the enemy.

Anything that prevents us from experiencing healing, whether it be someone excusing your actions or someone excusing your rapist, is not Love, and is not of God. Let's strive to be consistent in the actual principles of love, instead of lackadaisical in our administrations. Are you a stumbling block to someone's growth? Is your church? What can we do to change it?

Swimming in Dichotomy - The Fullness of Love

2011-05-14T23:56:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking lately about love. I've been noticing extreme camps on one side of the spectrum or the other, and often in reaction to each other, when it comes to things like mercy, justice, tolerance, grace, and love. I don't know why the extremes are the most vocal, but there you have it.

For instance, most of the liberal, card-carrying-democrat Christians I know believe in justice. They do believe that there is right and wrong in the world. And I have noticed that this is not usually ascribed to them by the more extreme right-side-of-the-politcal-spectrum folks. On the flip side, most all of the conservative, card-carrying-republican Christians I know believe in mercy, and have a tremendous amount of compassion. But to hear the left-wingers tell it, such folks wish to condemn the poor to die and that they care more about someone's sexual orientation than that person's basic human rights. It's not true, but it's the ugliness that spews forth.

And the same goes for love. There are people who err on the side of grace (and insist it's impossible to err there), and the people who err on the side of justice (and insist it's impossible to err there). And in an effort to distance themselves from each other, there's sort of this rabid escalation that leads nowhere, along with a healthy dose of finger-pointing and name-calling.

And yet, at the same time, sometimes what the "err on love" people tout as love simply isn't loving, though on the surface it appears that way. And the "err on justice" people may push an idea that they are so sure is fair and righteous, when it is actually selfish and inflammatory.

It's so ironic to me that people who care deeply about justice and truth could so unfairly and unjustly malign others that disagree with them on matters of opinion, and it's also ironic that people who care so deeply about mercy and acceptance and tolerance have none for the people who disagree with them.

I suppose that's human nature for you.

Still, I see threads of truth in both extremes. There is a place for straight-up justice, and a place for straight-up mercy, but I think that this messy world we live in often needs both at the same time. I believe that we need both truth and love, and that one must exist in tandem with the other, and in fact does. That mercy can be just, and that justice can be merciful. It doesn't *have* to be an 'either/or', and often what seems just is really convenience, and what seems merciful is really selfishness. That we are spewing platitudes on principles, when the practicality of walking out our values is more complicated than stricter immigration laws or implementing universal health care.

Tension exists between these two forces, yet they are both necessary. Often it seems our messages get misascribed and messed up...for a conservative, they may see that being loving to the homosexual community means speaking the truth and not being an enabler or a stumbling block to someone's sin. For a liberal Christian, that kind of behavior is nonsensical, just accept them for who they are because Jesus love and grace is radical. And that is nonsensical to the conservative Christian, because you can't have love without a measure of law. And so it seems both sides escalate their message to extremes, trying to one-up each other and shout over each other when there might be places they both could agree on and learn from. Some extremely on-the-right conservatives I know of (not personally, but yeah) call them derogatory names and won't even associate themselves with people who identify themselves as same-sex oriented. Um, pharisees much? Some extremely on-the-left Christians I know of do incredible Biblical gymnastics to try and make the scriptures say something they don't, so we can all quit arguing about it and move on. Um, pharisees much?

This is true of many issues, not just political ones. It could be something like, wearing head coverings versus a woman with a pink mohawk. One side is so sure that this is a law which must be followed to the letter, and the other is so sure that this is an area where we have choice and grace and freedom. Full disclosure, on that argument I fall in the latter camp. If I could pull it off and not look terrible, I totally would rock a pink mohawk. <3 But that doesn't mean I want to get into arguments with the head covering people and denigrate their views. If that's according to what the Lord has convicted them, who am I to judge? However, I probably wouldn't attend a church where it was required, as a member, to wear one, and if some law in the church at large or even the secular state tried to pass about it, you bet I'd fight it. :) I just hope I could fight it with tolerance and understanding.

It's like parenting...only a parent who hates their child and cares not for their long-term development withholds discipline and instruction. Because I love my children, I will correct them when they are wrong. I am not going to smile benevolently at my child's sticky-fingered candy swipe and just try to be more sickly-sweet and understanding. Because ultimately, that's not love. Allowing my child to believe that it's totally ok to steal, when in fact it violates God's clearly stated laws and our society's moral and legal code is setting them up to fail.

Try explaining that to a person who cares more about what everyone is feeling in the moment, though. It doesn't go well, trust me.

Unfortunately, parents don't always have the luxury of making sure their kid is happy at all times. We all want our kids to be happy, but it's not realistic to maintain it at all times--and is, in fact, stunting to emotional and psychological growth. But it might FEEL like a good goal. Because no kid likes to be corrected, or to be told 'no', yet what parent wants to see them in pain? Even though children have powerful impulses to do whatever it is that they want to do, we restrain them and teach them to restrain themselves because we love them. And at the time, it's messy, and it hurts, and they feel terrible. I remember feeling like I wanted or needed something and being told no...and how I felt so misunderstood, and if I could only have that thing I would be happy, and how betrayed and depressed it made me feel, and all the other numerous things that happen when we hear 'no'. But I was denied that thing so that I could experience a greater joy and freedom later.

Instead of trading in the now for the later, and feeling so progressive and compassionate and like they could pat themselves on the back for appearing so caring and generous and wonderful by making ME feel wonderful and validating what I was doing, I was fortunate to have parents who wanted to look out for the long term. Because they loved me. And they understood the value of denial, and suffering, and waiting, and rightness.

So I look around, and I see a lot of misunderstanding about my conservative brethren. I see a lot of fingers pointed, crying about a lack of grace or compassion. Because we aren't willing to, say, call abortion anything but murder, we must be heartless, thoughtless people with no care or concern for those who have made the choice to abort.

To me, that's like saying "Let's not call it RAPE, because there are people who have raped that regret it, so let's use a softer term." But I say, it's not loving to sugarcoat the truth...especially if, by sugarcoating the truth, you enable error. I believe that hiding truth behind nice words can sometimes be disrespectful. Sometimes it's the right thing to do, but in other cases--and I would argue abortion is one such case--I say, kowtowing to this idea that it's our responsibility to make other people happy isn't Biblical or productive. In fact, I think it's a form of pride, of selfishness, of slacktivism. Instead of meeting someone where they are at and helping them move beyond, instead of speaking the truth in love, instead of truly loving the person enough to be real with them, we hand them this false sense of love and security. And it diminishes those who have participated and those who have been victimized by it. It's like the difference between saying "Jews were murdered at Auschwitz" and "Hitler took care of a political problem at Auschwitz". We all know what happened at Auschwitz, especially those who are related to or even took part in it and no longer agree with their own actions, feeling remorse even. Having to live with it. Yet, it denies the personhood involved in the tragedy and thus lowers everyone to dance around the issue.

We don't want to get in and get messy, we don't want to offend, we don't want to talk about the difficult parts. We see the woman at the well and we want to stop right after Jesus says "I don't condemn you" and forget about the part where He says "Go and sin no more". We don't want to risk being misunderstood, rejected, or worse--the gospel rejected, so we trade in the journey for the cowardice. We want to talk about God being loving and merciful, but forget about the part where He is just and holy. We want to talk about how God loves everyone and tells us that the most important commandments are to love Him back and then love others, and not about the part where Jesus tells us that to love Him means we obey His commands. We forget that the Gospel is offensive, and the odor of death to those perishing. We say we acknowledge our sins, but we don't want to name them because it's painful. Or naming something sinful might be painful for someone else, so let's not. No one wants to be constantly condemned, nor should they be, by our words; and that's why sometimes it's the right thing to do to use soft term. For instance! It's helpful to NO ONE to use the term 'whore' when describing a prostitute, or especially, someone who has fallen and been impure outside of marriage. But we also must be careful and mindful, lest we accidentally lead someone astray from the truth.

What a shame that would truly be.

Because in the end, are we not being deceivers? Are we not being stumbling blocks? For...what? 30 silver pieces? I find it unloving to say "yeah, no worries man, we're all sinners, so go ahead and keep on sinning!" when Jesus says that the light and darkness have no fellowship, that He will spit out the lukewarm, that obedience is better than sacrifice. I find it unloving to minister to someone's temporary feelings but not to their longterm survival and ultimate happiness and security. I find it unloving to push the idea of grace without the practicality of love.

To best illustrate what I mean by that, I believe it's like saying that grace means always handing over that money to a drug addict when they ask because they want their next fix, believing that if we just keep on giving them grace and forgiving them, they'll change. When in fact, we are enabling and rewarding their very destruction! True love intervenes. True love does not do real harm, but brings real healing. True love is most gracious and merciful when it is concerned with someone's health and long term well-being rather than their temporary and fleeting happiness. True love is willing to be offensive, willing to be hated even, if it means that it will eventually bring about salvation. True love is always kind, but sometimes the kindest thing you can do is tell someone "no, that's not right", or allow them to experience the consequences of their actions. Because the truth is, love isn’t about making people feel good about their choices no matter what they are, love is about validating who they are despite them.

Justice and mercy go hand in hand, though they derive from opposing forces; yet, justice is often a merciful thing, and mercy is almost always just. Without the extremity of justice, we cannot fully understand or appreciate mercy, and without the depths of mercy, we cannot see justice for what it truly is. After all, the Cross is not a trifling matter. It's not just sort of groovy that we kind of messed up and that sucked but Jesus gave us a cosmic bandaid.

No.

The Cross is significant because it is the cosmic binding together of justice and mercy, and is the stark contrast between death and life, light and dark. Grace is amazing because the alternative is utter destruction.

Are there people in your life you are appeasing when you should be speaking the truth? Are they worth the truth, or do you only care enough to throw them a feel-good nibble?

I'm not saying we should be the morality police, legislatively or personally. I'm not saying you should go up to every person you know and point out their sins and faults. Seriously, don't do that, it's not kind either, and not what I'm talking about. I'm just saying we need to take a good, hard look at ourselves. Examine our beliefs and principles, examine our motivations. Is it really kind to give someone only cake for food, because that's what they believe they need or can only ever eat, or is it better to suggest a salad once in awhile? What IS kindness, love and grace REALLY? Fluffy happy feelings where nothing difficult or opposing is ever brought up, and no iron sharpening iron or challenge happens, just relativism? I don't think so.

Obviously there is a corollary to this, and that is being brutishly black-and-white. It's kind to be truthful, but it's also kind to be tactful and merciful. I know that I have a ton of faults and besetting sins, but I'm mostly aware of them thanksverymuch, and it would really hurt if people were constantly riding me about my progress or lack thereof. I don't think we should discount emotions and impulses and feelings. I don't think we should sit on a high horse passing judgment. If hard truth is to be spoken, it must be in love and humility, in the right time and place. I think we should be careful in our boldness, because we are only humans and not the Holy Spirit, and *we* can sin by being too abrasive or unkind or rubbing someone's face in their poor choices (aka condemnation).

For me, the balance is sometimes hard to strike. Sometimes, I err too much on the side of ooshy gooshy when I should be firm. Sometimes, I err too much on the side of hardline truth when I should have a soft, open, vulnerable and humble embrace. I wish I had all the answers and this ramble-jumble of not-entirely-cohesive and coherent thoughts was a how-to manual for everyone. But I don't, and this definitely isn't. These are just things I'm thinking about lately. Sometimes I am silent when I should speak up, and sometimes I speak up when I should have remained silent. Sometimes I am too blunt, sometimes I am too mealy-mouthed.

I know, I'm not perfect. You're all shocked, right? *crickets* ...riiiight? :P

A lot of this has come up for me lately because of being silent when I should have spoken up. Something really destructive and horrible has happened, and while I wasn't directly involved, I had knowledge of its beginnings. Instead of directing that knowledge to the right people, I felt powerless and that it wasn't my place. It wasn't my secret, or my happenstance, it just affected me and the people around me that I love. And it festered. For years. I hated myself for keeping a secret that was not mine to keep but not mine to reveal. And in the end, it has been a secret that should have been revealed and not kept, and I have to work on forgiving myself for that. Because it ended up a thousand times worse than it would have if things had been properly resolved years ago.

We were all trying to 'do the right thing', but I think we were really just trying to make all involved happy by doing what they asked with their mouths but didn't really want or need in their hearts, because doing the right thing would make both parties angry and upset. Of course, keeping everyone happy proved impossible. And while there was an uneasy peace, for years, now all of the filth and hurt and pain that was under the surface has exploded. It would have been far, far kinder for everyone involved to have taken decisive and just actions when we first learned of it. So in the name of tolerance, and extreme mercy and grace, and love and all of that, we actually did just the opposite. We thought we were being forgiving and fair, we thought we were being gracious and merciful, but in the end it turned out to be empty platitudes that made things worse.

Life lessons, yo. Not fun. But merciful of God, really. I keep thinking that my 'eternal weight of glory' must be getting heavier all the time. :P

I believe that we can love the unborn and love the mother at the same time. Exposing the truth of abortion does not mean the mothers must be left behind, without compassionate options and support. We can love the poor among us enough to think through a viable, real solution that doesn't trap them in a mindset and lifestyle of servitude and dependence upon us/the state, rather than settling for the "easy" solution that helps no one in the long run but sounds really compassionate. We can find a way for the sick and ill to be cared for compassionately and with quality without endless bureaucracy and taking away the ability for people to earn a living and for those earnings to count for them and their families.

Ultimately, my point is that what may look like callousness may in fact be compassion, and what looks like compassion may in fact be callousness. What looks like undeserving favor may in fact be fair and just, and what looks to be fair and just may in fact be undeserving favor in a negative way. We need to come together and listen, and learn that truth must be presented with humility and love, and yet that the actual practicality of love and grace and kindness walked out in reality may be truthful and difficult.

There is a holy, cosmic dynamic in the dichotomy of love/mercy/grace and truth/justice/righteousness that we will fail at but must try to achieve anyways, because we are called to Christlikeness and that is in fact what He was all about.

2011 Easter Baskets!

2011-04-24T21:48:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again! Easter baskets are a large part of our celebration around these parts. For me, they are a much bigger deal than carriers for plastic grass (ew, so bad for the environment AND your vacuum!!) and dyed eggs and brightly colored marshmallows. I mean, I'm cool with bunnies and marshmallows and all that. I just want to make sure that the baskets point to the reason for Easter, aren't consumeristic, and are in line with my purchasing principles.

I'm not the only one who finds significance in baskets and Easter. In fact, in the Orthodox branch off the Christian church they are a symbolic part of their celebration--interestingly, the symbolism is much like a seder plate. Seder is a traditional part of the Passover celebration.

This year I really struggled with what to put into the baskets, or what theme to do. We've been in process of moving and other chaos, and it really came down to the last minute. What I DID know is that I wanted to stay within my ideals. You know, not a lot of cheap plastic junk. Or wasteful spending/consuming. And it must reflect the reality of Easter. I did manage to decide on a basic theme--the purpose, the deeper meaning of and reason for Easter. We know the what...but WHY did Jesus die on the cross and WHY did He rise again and WHY was it all necessary? I wanted to convey the purpose of Easter, not just the facts of it.

And what is the deeper purpose, after all, but healing the separation between God and man? God deeply desires a living relationship with us, now and through eternity, but because He is just, it wasn't possible without Christ.

Much pondering and half-heartedly attempting to plan a couple of different ideas later, I was shopping on Good Friday of all days and seriously about to just give in and buy a pre-made basket full of junk. My heart was not in this idea, but I was out of time. I stopped in the middle of Target and prayed, earnestly, that I could honor Jesus in my purchasing and basketing and if He would please give me inspiration I would appreciate it.

And He did. I was picking up some more band-aids when it struck me: A FIRST AID KIT!!!!!! Honestly, it really was the Lord's inspiration and not mine, because I was able to go throughout the store and pick up different items, thinking instantly of a gospel-related verse or concept or both central to the theme of Easter's purpose. Both my girls are getting older, and I knew that my eldest would appreciate having her own first aid kit more than a couple of cheap new toys anyways, and my younger daughter most certainly would enjoy having her own set of bandaids and ointments and such. Ginger is really independent in that sense these days, and enjoys having her own things.

The Lord is our Great Physician, and I've always considered the purpose of the cross not punitive but relational. The purpose was to bring healing and relationship, not so much to punish. The propitiation of our sins was the vehicle, not the purpose, of the cross. While necessary, it served a higher purpose: unity. What a neat way to communicate such a concept! After labeling a bin with their name and "First Aid Kit" on it, I included a little paper note about prayers to pray when sick or sad or hurt, and how Jesus is our healer, etc. I also grouped items and attached pieces of paper to each saying what each item represented. If you mouseover any of the individual item pictures, including the thumbnails, you'll be able to read what I wrote on the paper.

For instance, I included some wipes and tissues and put this message on it: "We all get dirty! Fortunately these wipes and tissues will help us become clean again. Dirt is like sin, it messes up our looks and makes us stinky and grimy. We all sin, and that’s bad news because sin separates us from God. But Jesus died on the cross and rose from the grave to take away our sin, so that when we pray “Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin” from Psalm 51:2, we know that only Jesus can wash us, and He WILL cleanse us from our sin. “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:7-9".

Between all of the items in their kits, I believe I did a good job presenting the basic Gospel message with the deeper undercurrents of what Easter is really all about. It's not about sending some people to hell and making everyone afraid, or motivating us to 'turn or burn'. It's about God, the Infinite and Divine and Just, reaching out to His imperfect and blighted creation and returning us to our intended state while loving us despite the blight. On the bandaids, I wrote: "Bandaids are useful for covering over a wound like a scratch or cut. Without bandaids, wounds can be seen by everyone and might get infected with bad germs! The Bible says that love is like a bandaid. “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8. That’s like what Jesus does for us! We have a wound called sin, and it’s Jesus love that covers us and heals us. He loves us so much!"

I included things that would be found in a typical first aid kit, like bandaids and ointment and such. I also included a few more...unorthodox ones. Like harmonicas. Because laughter is good medicine. :P

And of course I had to include a 'boo boo bear'. Every good first aid kit needs a cuddly stuffed animal to help you feel better!

We colored eggs the night before, and I filled a few re-used plastic eggs with candy. I snuck in to their bedroom and hid the eggs just before they woke up, leaving a trail of eggs to the baskets. :) I wish someone would hide eggs for me to find...one of my favorite childhood traditions!

The girls loved it, much to my delight! And we had a lovely little lesson all about the purpose of Easter, with our slips of paper and sweet conversations. Sometimes I am unsure if they are connecting the same dots I am connecting, even if I make it totally obvious, but I could tell that for at least some of the objects they understood! :)

Mardi Gras ~ A Year of Homeschooled Holidays

2011-04-17T10:39:00.000-07:00

Since today is Palm Sunday, and it is a mere six days until our next holiday party, I figured I'd better post about March's holiday! >.>

Last year we observed St. Patrick's Day. We made hats, decorated cupcakes, had fun themed food and fellowship, and watched a video about St. Patrick.

This year we decided to celebrate Mardi Gras. While people often associate it with wild partying where "anything goes", it is meant to be so much more. In fact, it is meant to be the last hurrah of the ordinary as we seek to infuse ourselves with the extraordinary. It is a preparation and confession, a ridding ourselves of the last of the flesh before we enter into the season of Lent, a time of contemplation and anticipation.

So we threw a party! :) We learned about Mardi Gras and Lent, and ate delicious foods. My friend S made the best minestrone soup I've ever had plus some buttery, rich toasted parmesan bread.

I made a King Cake for dessert, though I was worried about baking plastic or a coin so I used a caramel instead. ;)

We also made Mardi Gras masks, put on our beads and danced!

Hello! And a homeschooling ramble...

2011-04-16T12:19:00.000-07:00

Hello! *taps mic* Is this thing on? Anyone out there?

*crickets*

I know, I know. I've barely been around. This blog has been rather decidedly neglected in the past year. Which in bloggy land, is akin to bloggy death. So if no one reads this, I shan't be surprised. Also because I'm going to ramble about my plans for homeschooling next year, and that is probably uninteresting to most people. There have been a lot of things going on, thus the radio silence.

This is actually not normal for me, as I am an external processor and find the most release and most excellent processing through writing. But the things going on in my life have been so multitudinous, so huge, so frequent, so emotionally exhausting, so constant, and so private, I just haven't been able to write here. I haven't had time, and have frequently sat staring, thinking perhaps I could post about this topic or that, but feeling frozen at the same time, or unable to cheerily post about some cheerful and relevant topic when all I wanted to do was crawl in a hole and disappear. I felt fake?

Things are not particularly looking up, but I am beginning to come out of the shock of it all and see the light at the end of the tunnel. We've moved, twice, and are in the midst of that second move and boxes and chaos everywhere. But I felt the unction to function in a way that didn't require thinking about where to stash this or that object or how best to arrange the cupboards.

So hi.

What's on my mind right now is school for next year. I am super excited about it. I wasn't excited about this year, due to being overwhelmed. In fact, I almost stuck the kids in public school, but after much thought and prayer and back and forth realized it would be too much change for them and wouldn't really alleviate my responsibilities to their education enough to make it worth it. So I packed the schedule with outside classes, even ones including core curriculum like math, and we've done our best to limp along. And so far, it's gone ok. The kids are behind in some areas, but ahead in others (or at "level"). We'll catch up, especially now that I'm more functional.

Anyways, one thing we did this year was join a Christian co-op. Previously, almost all of our outside classes have been through a public school program. Which I like; it's a program with its own building and classes, and it has a lot to offer while at the same time being fairly laid back. I love the community we've built there. I think I've made some lifelong friends, actually, and my kids feel the same. But, the classes are neutral to religion. Which is just fine, but I wanted to find something for my kids that incorporated our faith, especially since I do so at home. Personally I don't see how you *can't* incorporate your worldview into school, so that's something I've been very attentive to in our teacher choice and class choice there. After all, that's one of the reasons I homeschool! I also personally find it difficult to describe the amazingness of science and math and language properly without referring to its Creator. So I wanted my kids to see that connection as well.

Initially, what drew me to the co-op was actually a Latin class for Sparrow. And then I discovered so much more; and have really enjoyed dipping my toes into the community there as well. One thing I have been impressed with is the quality of academics. I guess it makes sense; homeschoolers tend to either be really laid back about it because hey, isn't that why we are homeschooling? or really WE MUST GIVE OUR CHILDREN THE BEST EDUCATION POSSIBLE because hey, isn't that why we are homeschooling? (I find myself embracing both these values, and learning to find the balance between strict academia and teaching the value and love of learning) I would say that most of these classes fall in the latter category, or in the middle leaning toward the latter. It's perfect for where Sparrow is right now. We'll see how it goes with Ginger; she only barely made the cut-off for Kindergarten this year, and I am somewhat concerned that the classes aimed at 1st-2nd graders will prove more than she is capable of emotionally. I'm just so not *in* to sitting that age group down and having that kind of focused classroom experience, but her classes all sound so amazing and interesting I figured we'd give it a shot.

That's another thing I'm excited about: the classes are really dynamic and interesting, and more suited to the way I present topics than a traditional school. For instance, Sparrow will be in a class that will be all about Da Vinci. It will incorporate art, science, language, history, culture, physics, inventions, etc. all centered around Da Vinci and rooted in a base of math. Ginger will be in a class about animals, but learning through the perspective of Rudyard Kipling's short stories, comparing and contrasting real animals with the fanciful ones in his books. So it will incorporate language arts, history, culture, and science. Me likey. Also me likey: I will be teaching! I love teaching, so this will hopefully be a good and fun experience. It's been *awhile* since I've taught a group of kids, so I'm a little nervous, but we'll see! I'm teaching a dance class for the first trimester (focusing on Irish Step Dancing) and a LEGO club throughout the year.

And what's nice is that now that I have that all squared away, I can really focus on what we want to take through the public school program next year. Of course, new classes haven't been decided on yet and we probably won't see them and sign up until June, but still. I have a good idea already of where the holes are and where the next school year is heading. Considering Sparrow will be in FIFTH GRADE (!!!!!!), this is good! I have activities every day of the workweek this year, and it has been exhaustifying. I'm hoping to cut down to two days ideally or two heavy days and one light day of classes. So that means, we'll probably only go one or two days at the other program, but try to pack more into one day. Right now we just take a few classes a couple of times a week.

Good times. Am I the only one planning out the next year of homeschooling while this one isn't even concluded? Or are there other ~~crazy~~ well-prepared people out there like me?

President's Day ~ A Year of Homeschooled Holidays

2011-02-23T09:53:00.000-08:00

Last year we celebrated Valentine's Day. Last February was our first holiday party for homeschooling, though we had celebrated Christmas and Easter together before. It was totally fun! We decided to celebrate different holidays this year for each month, so for February we picked President's Day.

Originally, the February holiday was simply in honor of our first president, George Washington. His birthday fell in February. A next great, desired-to-be-honored president was Lincoln; his birthday also fell in February. For many years, both holidays were observed. It was only in the past fifty years or so that this changed, and now many states celebrate President's Day only. Some celebrate only Washington, some only Lincoln, some both, and some all presidents. We chose to celebrate Washington and Lincoln, two of our greatest presidents.

For the 'learning' portion, we prepared the kids ahead of time reading about and studying Washington and Lincoln, and by having them memorize a song about our presidents from Washington to Obama. On the actual day of the party, we had them sing the song, and took a little 'quiz' about the presidents we were honoring.

One of my favorite ways to learn about holidays, cultures and traditions is through food. :) I hosted the party, so I made lunch. I tried to think of something basic for an air of authenticity, but I wanted to have fun as well. So I chose a tried-and-true chicken fricassee recipe, which I referred to as "Mama Lincoln's Southern Chicken Fricassee with Dumplings". I made a punch of berry herbal tea, lemonade, seltzer water and a teensy bit of raspberry flavoring syrup and called it "Boston Tea Party Punch".

For side dishes, I offered fat pretzel sticks and carrot sticks and referred to them as "Lincoln Logs" in honor of President Lincoln's famous log cabin. We also made a version of 'bumps on a log'. Celery was filled with strawberry cream cheese and then topped with blueberries. This was to represent General Washington's famous crossing of the river Delaware: Celery for boats, blueberries to represent the Continental Army.

And finally, for dessert, I made George Washington Brownies: Dark chocolate brownies with canned pie cherries (to represent the legend of the cherry tree) topped with toasted marshmallows and powdered sugar (to represent the powdered wigs popular at the time including his presidential wig). It was quite good!

Speaking of powdered wigs, my friend S brought a craft to make them! It was a very sticky and fun craft. Ginger did about half of hers, and then I ~~happily and excitedly took over~~ helped her finish.

When we sang the song of the Presidents, some of the kids elected to wear theirs. :)

It was a very fun and informative day!

I couldn't find one online, but here is the chicken fricassee recipe. It's from a 1971 Betty Crocker's All-Time Favorites cookbook. It's one of my favorites, and one of the first recipes I learned to make when I was a child. I made this for dinner for my family from about the age of 11 on!

Chicken Fricassee with Dumplings
4 1/2-5 pound stewing chicken, cut up (in this case, I used boneless skinless chicken breasts. If you do this, you MUST decrease the cooking time! I let them stew about an hour before adding the dumplings and they were a little overdone, but trust your thermometer rather than my guesstimate)
1 cup all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons salt (It sounds like a lot, but it's for the chicken breading, so two teaspoons don't end up in your meal anyways)
2 teaspoons paprika
1/4 teaspoon pepper
Shortening or salad oil
1 cup water
3 Tablespoons flour (I used leftover flour mixture from above; it makes a more flavorful gravy. Totally not necessary though)
Milk
Dumpling recipe (below)

Wash the chicken and pat dry. Mix 1 cup flour, the salt, paprika and pepper; coat chicken with the flour mixture (I use a gallon-size ziploc bag for this). Heat a thin layer of shortening in a large skillet or Dutch oven (I often make this in an electric skillet) and brown chicken over medium heat. Drain off fat and reserve (If you use boneless, skinless chicken breasts you will likely not have much fat to reserve. I used butter instead, later).

Add water to the skillet. Cover and simmer until the chicken is fork-tender, 2 1/2- 3 1/2 hours, adding more water if necessary (again, if you are using chicken breasts, please adjust time). Remove the chicken and keep warm while making the gravy. Pour the liquid from the skillet and reserve.

To make the gravy, heat 3 Tablespoons of the reserved fat in the skillet (butter, in my case). Blend in 3 Tablespoons of flour. Cook over low heat, stirring until the mixture is smooth and bubbly. Remove from heat. Add enough milk to the reserved liquid to measure 3 cups and pour into the skillet. Heat to boiling, stirring constantly. Boil and stir one minute.

Return chicken to gravy in the skillet. Prepare dough for dumplings and drop by spoonfuls onto hot chicken. Cook uncovered 10 minutes, then cover and cook 20 minutes longer. 6-8 servings.

Dumplings:
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
3 Tablespoons shortening
3/4 cup milk

Measure flour, baking powder and salt into a bowl. Cut in shortening thoroughly with a pastry blender until mixture looks like meal. Stir in the milk.

Chinese New Year-Homeschooled Holidays

2011-02-12T23:58:00.000-08:00

I used to bemoan the idea that my kids might miss out on class holiday parties being homeschooled and all, but it turns out that the class party is going the way of the dinosaurs. Now, I'm glad they are homeschooled so they can have a Christmas party with their friends and actually *say* "Merry Christmas". We can have a Halloween party if we want, or an Easter egg hunt. We can make valentines and little mailboxes to put them in.

One of the homeschool groups we participate in operates under the umbrella of the public school system, and it's been fun to organize gatherings with a large group of people to participate. It's something we have a unique opportunity to do, because it's parents that are spearheading it. Of course, *because* it's a public school umbrella, we can't say "Christmas Party"; we had to say "Winter Festival." But it was a Christmas party. ;)

But hey, I like parties. So that's not enough. ;) Last year, one of my dearest friends and I started celebrating a different holiday each month. It wasn't really intentional; we just decided we wanted to have a Valentine's Day party, and it was so much fun we decided to do a St. Patrick's Day party. And it just grew from there. Most of the time it's just been our two families, though we have welcomed others. February marks a year of this, though there were a few months we missed due to life circumstances. Since we celebrated Valentine's Day last year, we started thinking that maybe we'd try to do a different holiday each month.

For January, originally we were going to celebrate MLK JR day, but again, life circumstances intervened. And so it was, at nearly the end of January, that we switched our "January" holiday to be Chinese New Year. Technically, Chinese New Year falls in February, but the festival in our city was the last weekend in January, so we figured it worked out. ;)

We celebrated the Chinese New Year in two parts. First, the festival. It was held in the International District of our city. We enjoyed the long dragon and the lions dancing through the streets, a magician, the various shops (Chinese, Japanese, Thai, etc), martial arts demonstrations,

lantern-making, balloon animals and face painting, trying new foods in the Chinese bakery and Chinese BBQ restaurant,

and more martial art demonstrations. The husbands really seemed to enjoy that part. ;)

It is always a valuable experience to embrace a culture from its own point of view, and experience something in context and through their eyes. I remember, when I was a very young girl, my own parents taking me to the festival. I don't remember much about the experience except that everything was brightly colored, and the Chinese restaurant where we ate. It was perhaps my first experience with authentic fried rice, and I fell in love. I also remember that I got my own cup of green tea. Chinese have various types of tea, including black teas, but as my friend S puts it, green tea is like water to them. Coming from an Irish/English background, this was my first go at green tea. I thought it tasted very strange, but very good. I remember the smell of it. And the thing I most vividly remember was the Chinese zodiac that was on our placemats. I was totally fascinated by it, though I was perturbed that I wasn't a majestic horse or cute rabbit but rather a rooster.

I hoped to create some of that experience for my kids, the wonder of something completely different and foreign and yet so close to home. People are people; equal and wonderful and valuable. Cultures are cultures; equal but different and rich. We can all learn from each other; to see through another's eyes is the basis for compassion and empathy. It is a very godly quality to embrace diversity and walk a mile in another's shoes. To see through another's eyes is also the basis for higher learning and understanding. That doesn't mean that all ideas are equally good or valid, but we gain discernment through learning and testing them. If we only think one way, ever, we will never prove our convictions in the fire.

In a developmental psychology course I took in college, we talked about a concept of maturity along these lines. I can't recall the name of the convention or who came up with it, but essentially there are three stages in maturity. First, the concrete stage. This is childhood; where we unequivocally and unquestioningly accept whatever our parents tell us as truth. We learned this way of thinking, we learned this set of facts, and that is that. Second, the questioning stage. This usually happens in the teens, in high school and particularly college. Often, the individual rejects everything or most things that their parents taught them in favor of the new and different information they get in the larger, less insulated world.

The problem is that often, people get stuck in one of these stages. Ironically, one thing they both share is closed-mindedness. In the concrete stage, they cannot see past what they have learned rotely, and do not think more of it except to repeat it endlessly. In the questioning stage, it's not that suddenly their minds are open and everything is different and better. It's that they've swung from one end of the pendulum to the other, trading one kind of reasoning or thought or ideology or extreme for another.

The path to true maturity comes when we are able to look at it all fair-mindedly. Often, in this stage, individuals find themselves re-embracing the things taught to them by their parents, but with their own voice and perspective instead of their parents' voice and perspective. Some things are embraced and some things are rejected from both the concrete and questioning stage. All of this little tangent to say, I think it's valuable to open children up to the wealth of the world. The ideas, the splendor, the cultures, the beauty. God did not create automatons. He did not make the world gray, but rather rich in color and depth of color. It is something to be enjoyed and experienced. At home, we can provide this in context of our values, and this is a good thing. It is also a good thing to experience something in its own context to truly understand it, because we are not just observers, but embracers of God's beauty and diversity. We must not simply say "Oh what a nice thought or how interesting" but we must truly value others and their perspectives and their cultures.

Anyways, I'll stop getting all philosophical now. *ahem*. In case anyone is still with me...

For the second part, we gathered at my best friend S's house. She is Korean, and hasn't lived long in the US. So she grew up celebrating the New Year; even until recently. I felt very honored to be included in her traditions! She taught us about the holiday from the Korean perspective, and what they do for the New Year. She made traditional festival food, and also showed us how to make gimbap (also sometimes called kimbap), which is Korean style sushi. Apparently, gimbap is not a traditional festival food, but the kids sure had fun!

She showed us how to lay the seaweed out, put the rice and other middle stuff on, and roll it nicely!

We were joined by another dear friend (who is originally from Taiwan) and her daughter. She brought her calligraphy brushes and showed us how to make a Chinese character. She also brought traditional foods from her Chinese background, and shared with us about the meanings behind some of the traditions. I brought potstickers. I had read that dumplings were traditional New Year's food, and she confirmed it. The shape of a dumpling is meant to evoke money, as the currency used to be nuggets of precious metals. Like oranges, whose names sound like "wealth" or "luck" and that's why they are New Year's food; wealth and luck are themes of every New Year, as that is what we wish for each other.

I brought a craft as well. I came up with it after I googled crafts for the Chinese New Year, and came across one for making bracelets out of glitter glue and craft foam. Apparently, in China it is customary for children to receive new clothes, so it was supposed to represent that. I didn't really like the idea of a foam bracelet. So I decided to gather my yarn, floss and cord supplies instead and have the girls braid friendship bracelets out of gold and red strings.

Then, since it is Year of the Rabbit, we made little bunnies out of felt, puffballs and googly eyes and attached them to the bracelets. They turned out pretty cute!

All in all, it was a fun and fascinating party. I'm very lucky that I get to be a part of such a vibrant global community, and that my own little slice of life is enriched by so many different cultures, backgrounds and ideologies. I was very honored and grateful to be included in my friends' festivities!

Lessons from an Easter Basket

2010-04-05T18:19:00.000-07:00

Easter has come and gone, and now it is beautiful Bright Week. As per tradition, I planned baskets for the girls. I went a little bit more 'commercial' and candy-fied than Easter baskets of previous years, but I mostly maintained principle integrity with the Easter baskets.

This year I was inspired to relate previous years' Easter lessons as well as give a Christian reference point to a cultural one. I was inspired, after seeing some people disparage bunnies and eggs as having nothing to do with the REAL meaning of Easter, to defeat the commercialism, 'pagan' roots and other silliness by restoring the meanings of the objects or redeeming them.

Because just how, exactly, do bunnies and butterflies and eggs NOT have anything to do with Jesus? I mean, the Lord God made them, and He called them GOOD. Bunnies don't change into horrible, evil creatures for the duration of the Easter season and then go back to being *acceptable* decorations, pets, and sources of food. You know? The thing is, I argue that God used eggs and bunnies and chocolate first. Since, you know, He made them and all. Just because later, other religious groups picked them up and said "Gee, this could totally be symbolic for me of whatever!" doesn't make them bad, and in fact doesn't mean that they *aren't* symbolic. I mean, the Bible says that the heavens declare the glory of God; so if people are seeing the innate message about new life and perpetual life in things like bunnies and eggs, it isn't because that is crazy and weird, but because God painted that message right into His works. I can hardly fault them for that. Just like I can hardly be faulted for using them the way they were meant to be used in the first place, or if you prefer, reclaiming their use. ;)

It just seems so pointless, such a 'food sacrificed to idols' kind of deal, this picking and choosing. For instance, I always did wonder why Christians were so ready to throw out Christmas trees but wore wedding rings. That is a tradition totally rooted in unchristian things.

Not to mention, for consistency's sake, if rabbits were worshiped as symbols of fertility and therefore associating with all of that is so evil, why were we ok with eating them, having them as pets, using them as non-Easter decorations, etc.? Are rabbits evil? Are they only temporarily evil at Easter? Are rabbit decorations kosher until the month-long period they remind people of Easter? PUT AWAY ZE BUNNIES, OR WE WILL BE LIKE PAGANS.

Yeah, not so much. God made dirt and dirt don't hurt. Wait, I mean, God made bunnies and just because some people missed the point and worshiped creation instead of Creator doesn't mean I have to buy into their fallacies. I refuse to dignify the idea and therefore give it credence by shunning it; this only legitimizes the idea!

Another point...animal sacrifice was practiced, by God's order, in the Bible. Yet at the same time, say, the priests of Baal were sacrificing animals to him (and humans, but that's another story). So...either God is neurotic or it's possible for things to be godly to some people and twisted to others. If we are to 'flee' from evil, wouldn't that include animal sacrifice? I mean, that's the very pinnacle of communing with demons, at least back then. And darkness and light have no fellowship, right? ;) Yet, God commanded the Israelites to do so. Hmmm. ;) And as another friend pointed out, if you look hard enough, you can find 'pagan' or commercial or non-christian roots to just about anything. However, you don't have to look very hard to see creation's TRUE roots, which are God's design and workmanship.

Anyways, just what does this have to do with bunnies and butterflies? And what do bunnies and butterflies and hollow eggs have to do with Jesus and Easter?

I'm getting to that ;)

As I said, I took the traditional symbols of Easter, both religious and non-religious, and used them to illustrate the message of the Resurrection. Spring, the very season itself, is God's love-note to us that there is hope. There is new life. There is rebirth. And believe it or not, even butterflies and bunnies attest to God's plan of salvation.

Bunnies:

Among other treasures, bunny stickers and sweet little stuffed bunnies were included in the basket

Easter, the term, is said to have come from an ancient pagan rite. There are several stories about how this came to be, but you know what? It doesn't actually matter; what spring and Easter mean to us as Christians have nothing to do with however other people chose to celebrate it. Some of what that celebration was about, apparently, involved fertility and the new awakening life.

Well, I apologize if this is news to anyone, but A) spring was God's idea; B) fertility was God's idea, and is encouraged and celebrated in His Word; and C) the Resurrection, what we celebrate on Easter, was also God's idea from the very beginning. As Carl Sandburg said, "A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on." One such spring symbol not typically accepted as 'Christian' are bunnies. Because another thing that people noticed is, bunnies reproduce. A lot. Especially in the spring. Pretty darn good poster animals for fertility, those rabbits. And God designed them that way.

And what is Easter but new life? Furthermore, what is the point of Easter without reproduction? All men die; but to live again thanks to Christ's resurrection is something else entirely! God's power reproducing itself in our daily lives is a pretty awesome thing. So I bought the kids little stuffed bunnies, and attached the following verses to illuminate what bunnies illustrate for us at Easter:

Psalm 127:3 Children are a gift from the Lord: they are a reward from him.
Genesis 1:28 Be fruitful and multiply
Matthew 28:19-20 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.
Romans 6 Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him

You see, fertility is an important Christian concept. Physical fertility, aka children; spiritual fertility, aka Christ's message soaking into our fertile heart-ground and being made new in Him; and the marching order for EVERY Christian, spreading the hope and message of Easter, the Gospel of Good News, to those who have not yet heard. And that is the mini-lesson I conveyed to my kids while I held up their new little bunnies (now named Fluffy and Tika).

Easter Eggs:
Honestly, Easter Eggs could not *be* more rife with rich Christian symbolism. Hollow eggs could be used to illustrate the tomb, or with a treasure, the treasure in the field parable. Or with a treasure inside, the hope of the empty tomb. Of course, eggs are ALSO symbols of new life. But I went somewhere different. I conveyed two truths using eggs, one using regular eggs and one using Easter Eggs.

Regular eggs can be used just like St. Patrick used shamrocks...an egg is one whole thing, yet has three distinct parts that can be called an egg even apart from each other. Just like God is one in His eternal essence, but has chosen to manifest Himself in three separate individuals...God the Son, God the Father, and God the Holy Spirit. For this I made a 'texture' toy. I traced an egg shape on some off-white upholstery vinyl and cut it out, zig-zagging around the edges, wrong sides together, to represent the shell. I cut out a smaller egg shape out of some super-slippery-smooth shiny polyester vinyl to represent the egg white, and a smaller circle out of buttery fleece (two per egg) to represent the yolk. I zig-zagged the yolk to the white (wrong sides together, the extra piece won't show but adds depth and softness), and then zig-zagged the white to one side of the shell. Viola! One whole egg, undivided, and yet three distinct parts.

You can see the egg in the bottom right corner of the basket

Then, I painted a cardboard/plastic egg for each child, to look like an Easter Egg. Then I cut the egg almost in half, or a 'door' out, and glued a small wooden cross inside one half and a pull-out paper on the other half. The pull-out paper had a picture of the child's face, whichever child's egg it was, and a verse. For example, "Ginger is hidden with Christ. Colossians 3:1-4 'Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.'" I then talked about what it means to be hidden in Christ, and just as we hide things in the eggs and hide the eggs themselves, our sins are hidden from God's view because when He sees us, He sees Christ. We also talked about hiding God's word in our hearts, and how just like there is treasure in eggs, so there is treasure in His word.

On a few treat-filled plastic eggs I placed the following verses: "Oh taste and see that the Lord is good!" Psalm 34:8 and Psalm 119:11 "I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you." etc.

Colors/Rainbows:
Rainbows are God's promise to mankind that He will never again wipe us from the face of the earth with a flood. Rainbows are also a common spring apparition. Color bursts forth in nearly every realm, from creation itself to the fashion industry. Color represents many things, Biblically. God gave us the access to escape ultimate destruction in Jesus Christ, and colors have long been used to describe and represent this. I chose to represent this in the Wordless Book, which I made myself for the kids and "read" through with them.

Flowers:
Another common spring and also Easter theme is flowers. In the language of flowers, tulips represent new life, spring, and romance/fertility. Lilies represent purity, heaven, new life, and resurrection. These are common Easter/spring flowers. Isn't God just so masterful? I bought the girls packets of flower seeds, which were conveniently also butterfly-attracting flowers, since butterflies was sort of the main piece in the theme I created. For flowers, I used these verses:

John 12:24 "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit."
1 Corinthians 15:20-22 But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive.

Just as flowers, unless we die...to our sins, the old man, with Christ--participating in his death so somehow to attain to the resurrection--, we cannot live and be fruitful. (fruitful and multiply...see how it ALL ties together? Genius I tell you!). This is another picture of the Resurrection, another picture of Jesus' sacrifice and what that means for us 2,000 years later. New life, anyone?! New life in Christ here on earth, perpetual New Life in heaven.

Lambs:

Baby animals of all kinds are trotted out in non-religious Easter themes. After all, spring is a common new-baby-animal kind of time! Again with the new life theme, of course. But lambs in particular have a special significance to the Christian's Easter celebrations. After all, it is because of Christ crucified as the Sacrificial Lamb for our sins that we have hope, that the Resurrection even means anything. Lazarus also rose from the dead, but he didn't first pay the ultimate penalty for mankind, defeating sin and death itself first. So, this year I made the girls lamb headbands. I bought some cute headbands from Target, then sewed on a little felt lamb. When we put on the Lamb's sacrifice, we are forgiven. I attached these verses to the headband:

John 1:29 The next day (John) saw Jesus coming to him and said, "Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!
1 Peter 1:18-20 For you know that God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors. And the ransom he paid was not mere gold or silver. It was the precious blood of Christ, the sinless, spotless Lamb of God. God chose him as your ransom long before the world began, but he has now revealed him to you in these last days.

Butterflies:
This was my original theme, so many of the things I purchased initially had to do with butterflies. But it fit quite nicely into the overall theme I went with! I also was tickled to discover that I wasn't the only one with this idea.

Butterflies are interesting creatures...they start out as wingless, ugly, hair caterpillars, go into a dark and sealed place, and emerge as elegant new creatures called butterflies. I honestly can hardly think of a better natural picture of the reality of the Resurrection than this, and a better picture of how we are changed and put on the "new man". We are new creatures in Christ. We are changed, complete, grown up in Him. Where once we could crawl, now we can soar. For butterflies, I got a variety of butterfly paraphenalia. The most important pieces were live caterpillars, to go into their butterfly garden from last year, and a natural hand-crafted wooden butterfly life cycle set. I got Ginger the cutesy one from one of my favorite Etsyans, and I got Sparrow the more realistic one from Anne Moze. The verses attached read:

Romans 6:4-5, 8-10 Therefore we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have become united with Him in the likeness of His death, certainly we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection…Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, is never to die again; death no longer is master over Him. For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God"

Along with a cute book about an Easter animal and adding to our religious Easter library, plus some other fun surprises, I put all of these treasures into flower pots for my two girls. Just like last year, when I reused the baskets for planters (still in use), I figured these flower pots would be the perfect place to grow the flowers given as an object lesson about new life, rebirth, and multiplying. This was one of the 'green', consumer-conscious things that went into the planning of their Easter baskets.

Sparrow's basket:

Ginger's basket:

Altogether:

We really had a fruitful, wonderful time slowly exploring all the treasures and taking in the lessons. I feel like I accomplished my main goal, which was defining these symbols for the girls and using God's creation to explain and illustrate His master plan. :)

One fruitful thing that happened on the very day of Easter was that little Ginger made a commitment to Christ! :) At the end of service, the pastor gave an invitation to any who had never received Christ to raise their hand and do so. She raised her hand. I put it down, thinking she was being silly, but I "heard" the still small voice urging me to let her, so after a few whispers I did. And she kept her little hand stuck up there the whole time, and prayed the sinner's prayer! Afterward we had conversations about it, and her faith is real. Her love for Jesus is real. It was a genuine conversion experience, and I am rejoicing with the angels right now! I received Christ at a young age (3, and Sparrow also received Christ at age 3), and have been blessed with the fruit of that my whole life. Praise God! :)

Oh Baby! It's "The Office"

2010-03-05T23:15:00.000-08:00

One of my guilty viewing pleasures is NBC's "The Office". I look forward to the maddening antics of Michael, the sweet romance of Jim and Pam, the overall hilarious and well-matched cast, and the repeated theme of messing up and redemption. But I, like many other empowered birthing and breastfeeding advocates, was nervous about the episode about the birth of Jim and Pam's first baby. Typically, births are portrayed as frantic emergencies, all the interventions known to man are upheld as good and necessary, and everything about it is frightening. Precious few times is breastfeeding shown, mentioned, or positively portrayed.

I say empowered, by the way, because while I fully believe in natural childbirth and its benefits, and that medicated births are riskier and dimmer (and lead the way toward an unnecessary section), and c-sections are to be avoided unless medically necessary, I don't believe that it is impossible to have an empowered birth apart from DIY at home. I think it's perfectly possible to have an empowered, educated, mama-driven birth that includes complications and epidurals and even surgery. Sometimes, those things are necessary. Natural childbirth is normative, but we are not promised a perfect road with every birth, and sometimes it just doesn't turn out that way at all. I believe a woman does not have to be at the mercy of her situation, but in tune with it. And if that means something less than the soft-glow deliciousness of a drug-free homebirth, then it does.

****Spoilers ahead****

So I have to say, kudos to the writers at NBC and Pam Beasly for portraying such an empowered birth. There were things not to like, but over all I thought the natural birth message was positive and realistic. I felt relief and joy through the episode, instead of wincing every ten seconds. She's having contractions? It's not an emergency, she's fine. Her water broke? It's ok! Still fine! They even portrayed transition, in the scene where she loses control and feels she can't do it. Which is very, very typical. It's a sign that baby is imminent, and it was time for them to go.

The only part that had me wincing was the L&D nurse. I know there are many wonderful doctors and nurses out there whom are knowledgeable and supportive of breastfeeding. Sadly, if the birth boards I frequent are any indication, plus my own experience and that of many of my friends and family, are any indication, not all L&D nurses are created equal. I was very frustrated by my L&D nurses with Sparrow, who kept pushing me to give her a bottle. Who snapped at me when she nursed for 45 minutes straight (normal for a newborn) that she needed to take my blood pressure and I was going to spoil my baby. Who warned me, after jabbing her with needles, that if I nursed her for comfort all the time she'd use me for a pacifier (as if there is something wrong with that!).

Kudos, again, to the writers for having Jim and Pam stand their ground. Pam was educated (which the L&D nurse openly scoffed at...!!!!), refused to send her to the nursery, and when they got in trouble asked for a lactation consultant instead of trusting the "many babies do just fine on bottles" nurse whose lactation training was likely all of two hours.

I seriously had to resist screaming at the screen. I'm glad that the nurse wasn't portrayed as the hero or the all-knowing one. In fact, and yes again I know there are many great L&D wards, I'd say that she was pretty darn typical. I suppose what makes me so angry about it is just that...so many of those doctors and nurses have an "I know what's best for you" attitude, and can't abide any patient who knows what they want and are well educated. I have a relative who is a nurse, and she was excited when a position opened up in L&D. She didn't last more than a week, because she couldn't stomach how awful the other nurses were to the natural birthers and breastfeeders. A friend of mine's relative is a nurse in L&D, and has reported that the nurses take bets on how long the natural birthers will last before crying for an epidural.

Some support.

Which is, you know, their job and all.

But it's just so much easier for them to manage your birth for you...it saves them time and effort, and protects them in case of medical emergency from any liability. Never mind that interventions are risky and often *cause* medical emergencies. I can't find the online versions, but I've read articles and OpEds in nursing/medical magazines that literally talk about the frustration of 'uncooperative' natural birthers when it's just so much easier to manage them when they are hooked up to all the machines and stationary.

And it's just so much easier for them to shove a bottle in your kid's mouth than bring them to you for feedings, or waste time answering your questions.

I just couldn't understand why that nurse wanted to take the baby away from the new parents. I mean seriously, she kept trying to bring her to the nursery. Didn't offer a bottle, but told them she WOULD give the baby a bottle. And they could try later...even though baby was hungry NOW. What in the world?! And her comments about nipple confusion and the bottles line were maddening.

But again, I'm so pleased that they stood their ground. Ladies, it pays off. The look on Pam's face when baby Cecilia finally mastered her latch was priceless. Sometimes it's a hard relationship to get going, but don't give in at the first sign of trouble. Get help, and be persistent. It pays off. Don't let yourself be at the mercy of professionals who don't have time for your every need; educate yourself. And don't be afraid to stand your ground for what you feel is right for you and your baby. I assure you, it's good practice for the next 18 years. ;)

Fabric Faerie Wings Sort-Of-Tutorial

2010-01-22T13:22:00.000-08:00

If you are like me, you love little girls and wings :D Faerie wings, angel wings, chicken wings, whatever! Most of the tutorials I found involved bending wire coat hangers, or the store-bought wings had cheap metal in them. I didn't want to fuss with the bending, nor did I want something potentially sharp. In this house, at least, things sometimes get stuffed in spaces they shouldn't, left out and tromped on, etc. I just did not see that going anywhere good. So I decided to make my own all-fabric version.

I was going to title this "Faerie Wings Tutorial" but let's be honest, I'm not telling you how to make something amazing and exciting. I'm not an expert with lots of professional pictures and smart tips. I hardly know what I'm doing myself. ;) So this is just me sharing what I did, with some mediocre pictures and cross-my-fingers-that-it's-clear instructions.

Aside from the materials to make these wings, you'll need some sort of pattern. You could blow up a photocopy of some wings for a pattern, or do what I did and freehand it on some tissue or an opened brown paper bag. I can tell you from experience that you want the wings to slope up and down, from the middle, at a steep angle. The first pair of wings I ever made kind of look like two mermaid's tails stuck together, not so much wings, because of this. :/ This is my first (and possibly only) pro tip: if you are not careful about your angles, not only with the wings look kinda funny, but they will droop. Observe:

Conjoined mermaid twins?

Droopy Emo Faerie?

This is undesirable. :) Instead compare:

The size difference, by the way, is due partly to what I wanted the wings to be and due partly to the fact my kids are bigger now. ;)

Anyways, onward. Aside from making sure your wings don't droop, you will need a space for the two wings to connect that is the size of the fabric or ribbon you will be using to connect them. (See above comparison picture). This is reason #2 the first wings are droopy...their connector is too long. There is too much extra space in the middle, so the elastic connector doesn't hold them well. If you wanted to do some pixie-ish petal wings that didn't have a steep up and down, this is where your job is most important. Don't make a big space between the wings. :) For symmetry, I just draw one wing and use the pattern in reverse for the other side.

Now assemble your materials:
~Stiff or thick under fabric, such as a firm cotton or even felt. If you are not doing a full overlay, make sure it matches!

~Overlay fabric...this could be anything, this is what will be on the outside of the wings, so use your imagination. I used a lot of pretty satins and chiffons. It's ok to use more than one.

~Heavy interfacing called stabilizer. I use Pellon's version, found it at Jo-Ann's. It's like stiff, thin felt. I think it's called Peltex.

~Extra-wide ribbon, or fabric from about 1.5"-3" wide. The wider, the better.

~Extra-wide elastic. In the blue set of wings shown, I used sport elastic, and just sewed a small piece as per instructions into two pieces of ribbon. I just made a regular casing out of the ribbon for the wide non-roll elastic in the pink wings shown.

~Matching ribbon, about 3/4"-1" for arm casings, plus skinny elastic

~Small diaper-type pin to pull elastic through casings

~Notions (thread, pins, scissors, etc.)

Optional:
Matching extra-wide double-fold bias tape. If using the method for the pink wings, as shown, you will need 1-2 packages for the wings.

Embellishments such as buttons, ribbons, lace, flowers, jewels, etc.

Now to get started! I took process pictures when I sewed my flower faerie wings, which means the bias tape method will be the one shown. Personally, I think that sewing the wings wrong sides together (leaving a small opening), then turning out and topstitching (as in the blue wings) looks the best. It was hard to get the bias tape to cooperate evenly, so my wings didn't turn out as professionally awesome as I'd have liked. If you are using the turn-and-topstitch method, add a 1/2" seam allowance to your pattern. Otherwise, just cut your fabric into the desired shapes:

1. You'll need to cut two of the underlay fabric per wing piece, and one-two of each overlay. You need 1 piece of stabilizer per wing piece. Assemble the pieces together as they are to be sewn. For the turn-and-topstitch method, this means the overlay pieces on the inside, sandwiched between the underlay pieces, and the stabilizer piece on top. For the bias tape method, the stabilizer should be sandwiched between the under fabrics and the overlay on the outside.

2a. For the turn-and-topstitch method, sew along the wings at a 1/2" seam allowance, leaving the opening at where the wings will connect in the middle to turn. If this area is small, leave more space and sew that part up when you topstitch. Trim the stabilizer all the way to the seam, and clip curves. Turn to the outside, press if desired and necessary (and the fabrics used will allow). Topstitch all the way around the wing, leaving the connector area open.

2b. For the bias tape method, carefully position the bias tape so that the fold is flush with the edge, and carefully sew along the wings' edge, being sure to catch in all layers and bending/folding the bias tape as needed. Leave the connector area open. Finish the edges of the bias tape when done.

2c. If each wing has more than one piece, now is the time to attach them together. For these wings, I attached them together and made a 'connector' area at the same time, so that is why they have bias tape all around them.

3. Prepare the connector. Take the extra-wide ribbon and elastic. Cut two pieces of ribbon the desired length, about 4"-7". Remember it will 'shrink' due to the elastic, and we want at least 1/2" if not more to insert into the wings on each side. If using sport elastic, cut the elastic a few inches short of the connector ribbon. Sew both ends of the ribbon closed width-wise, catching in the elastic that was placed in between the two pieces of ribbon. Sew along grooves. If using regular elastic, cut the elastic 1.5"-2" shorter than the ribbon and sew both ends of the ribbon closed width-wise, catching in elastic placed in middle. Sew along the top and bottom lengths of the ribbon, encasing the elastic. Alternately, sew along top and bottom lengths of the ribbon to form a casing, then insert elastic and sew both ends shut, catching in elastic.

4. Connect the two wings together. First insert the connector piece into the connecting area of one of the wings. Turn the raw edges under, and stitch firmly in place. Repeat on the other side with the other wing.

5. Make the arm pieces. For the blue wings I used ribbon, sewing the top and bottom lengths of ribbon together to make a casing. For the pink wings I used bias tape, sewing the bottom edge shut to make the casing. Either way, cut enough pieces to make two arm pieces, about 16-19" in length. Make the casing, cut a piece of elastic a few inches shorter, feed through the casing and stitch the casing closed.

6. Position the arm pieces.

To minimize droopiness, and help keep the wings on, you actually want them to reach from the middle and up. So I placed mine a few inches over and a few inches up from the connection in the middle. This is also why they are so long ;).

This is one of the trickier steps, because the length of the arm pieces and placement depends on how big your wings are, how big your child is, and where exactly you want the middle of the wings to fall. I have found the most success using the shoulder blades as a guide for the wing connector placement...somewhere in the middle is ideal, and no lower than the shoulder blades or higher than the shoulders. You may need to experiment a bit with this step.

However, that is the last step of the basic wing preparation!

From there you may embellish, if you desire! I thought the blue wings were fancy enough on their own, but I went extreme for the flower faerie ones. ;)

I hope it made sense! :) If you try, let me know how it turned out for you!

Life: Imagine the Potential

2010-01-22T12:15:00.000-08:00

Mischief!!!!!

2010-01-18T02:19:00.000-08:00

Dear Ginger: I realize that you've been watching your sister put X's on the calendar for a little while now...but what you apparently failed to realize is that it wasn't a giant game of tic tac toe. And all the way into February? Really? Preemptive, huh? Thanks for marking off the days with O's. It will make writing things on the calendar *so* much easier :P

Goodbye 2009, Hello New Decade

2010-01-06T13:13:00.000-08:00

The girls, decorating cookies at a friend's holiday party

Today, January 6th, is Epiphany. This means, for me, that the year is officially over and a new time has begun. It's the last day of the Christmas season. My goals for this year are:

1. Get even more organized and consistent with my tasks and home

2. Read more books

3. Take a fun class

4. Improve my health

5. Get better about written notes, esp. thank-you notes (I was perfect at that until I had kids)

One of my brothers taking his turn as Santa at my mom's side of the family's Christmas Eve party

Since it's the last day of Christmas, however, I thought I'd talk a bit about it. :) Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were some of the best one's we've had, and we celebrated 3 other separate times with family...including a party at my Dad's house the day after Christmas, a holiday party at my mom's, and a Christmas celebration with my Grandma. All of that was fun and good. Giving and receiving was very precious this year. There were many baked treats. And Christ's birth was remembered and celebrated. I felt really good about 'doing everything unto the Lord' and keeping Christ at the center and indeed the reason for everything we do. I've noticed that when I do this, even in the midst of the girls opening their gifts on Christmas morning, they are more grateful for their gifts and also more cognizant of Him.

Our homemade Pfeffernussen

There were also, in November and December, a lot of struggles and difficult circumstances. We didn't complete all of our nativity and advent activities, in fact it was a low point in the school month. We've been struggling with finances and car issues, and there were many friends and family hurting for various reasons. It kind of illustrated Christmas to me, perfectly. Not really at the time, but now that I've had time to ponder. Out of darkness, came Light.

But enough of that! :D This year everyone was tight on finances so we did 'stocking stuffers'. Which meant a lot of handmade or cheaply acquired stuff. Oh who am I kidding, we do that anyways! ;) And it's my favorite. I way prefer receiving handmade gifts from the heart!! Especially if they are useful or something I already wanted or needed. I had quite a nice Christmas, a teapot from one Grandma, the cookie jar I'd been desiring from my other Grandma, a popcorn popper and other fun things from my mom, and just a lot of nice, thoughtful gifts from Hubby and others like a BEAUTIFUL tea mug/infuser (pink and cream and green and BUTTERFLIES!!!) from my Dad and his fiancee and a Rachel Ray cookbook from my inlaws. Among us siblings, however, we mostly pledged to do homemade stocking stuffers. One brother bought us all lotto tickets (someone won a small amount! Like ten bucks but still!) and another brother got me an Agatha Christie novel...his reasoning was "it's a mystery and an old lady, so I figured you'd like it" hahaha (I love "Murder, She Wrote"). Rob's siblings got us a bunch of stuff, actually, including a season of "Pushing Daisies". It was lovely!

Wanna see what my talented sisters made me? From L-R: S1 hand embroidered me a tea towel, S2 put her metalsmithing skillz to work and handmade us a Christmas ornament (the button on it is from S3's wedding last summer!) and some delicious-smelling homemade natural soap; and S3 made assorted chocolate truffles by hand. Plus she got me a cookbook and a copper butterfly cookie cutter, not pictured. (And then a close up of the ornament)

So to all the family and friends who blessed us this year, THANK YOU! It meant so much to us! I really felt overwhelmed, in a good way, by love!

I did make quite a bit (especially for the girls) but I also had a tiny budget plus already purchased gifts at the ready (since I gather gifts for Christmas throughout the year but especially from July on), so some people got a bit more than others >.>. I tried to keep it fair and even. I knitted a lot of scarves, baked a lot of cookies, and crafted/sewed a lot of things...it was fun :)

Remember, for instance, the Holiday Scented Playdough I made? It made an excellent gift for the little ones in my life...I gave it, as-is, to some friends and it was a big hit. For my nephew, I actually bought a $2 rubbermaid and put the playdough plus art and craft supplies in the box for a sort of mobile art box. I know my brother doesn't have a ton of space in his apartment so I figured it was a good size for stowing up high and yet a great way for my nephew to have everything ready to create. For Ginger, I put the playdough in a similar tub but I don't plan on storing it in there, as I actually filled the tub with 'sewing' supplies. Plastic canvas, plastic canvas shapes, kid-safe yarn needles, and yarns I got on sale, plus a sewing kit (also on sale!) that is basically follow-the-holes-to-make-a-stuffed-felt-cat. She loved it! (Especially because I made a similar present for Sparrow, but knitting...found some great kids knit books for like a buck each at a used book store, rolled up some of my old yarn remnants, and found the small kid needles I'd purchased like 6 months ago plus a new thing of yarn for her). Oh, and I stuffed in the remnants of the yarn and shapes and such from our ornament making experience.

Playdough all packed up for a friend! The girls made presents for those friends and wrapped them in the bags we made back in September

The girls made gifts for people as well...mostly pictures and craft projects. :) For the above pictures gifts, Sparrow made a watercolor butterfly attached to a ribbon that flutters behind you when you run and included a glitter crayon cake. Ginger made a 'candycane' ornament out of pipecleaners and made a picture.

Sweet, huh? :) Speaking of the girls and gifts, I really enjoyed putting things together for them this year, and delighted in their delight on Christmas morning. I believe I mentioned a theme of 'imagination and faerie tale creativity' with their gifts this year. I didn't want to get them more junk, you know? So they got a lot of quality, and I mean quality, books, some dress up stuff, and things to do to expand their horizons. Legos, for instance. In fact, aside from the plastic canvas and parts in the two board games and a baby doll, that was pretty much the extent of the plastic toys (YAY). Sparrow is really into watercolor paints right now and got a set of real, grown up (but non toxic) watercolors from Hubby's parents for her birthday. But she didn't have a proper palette, so I bought her one on sale as well as two books about watercolors and a watercolors kit, also on sale at Half Price Books (so they were already on sale, plus on another sale. SCORE.). Ginger, on the other hand, is very into ballet right now. So I made a 'ballet kit' for her, which included an instructional DVD, a book about ballet and a couple of ballet coloring books.

So as far as things we bought, we spent very little and yet they received things that will last them forever or will be used up and used for a very long time. Educational AND fun for 'toys' and activities, and my rule for books this year was that they had to be quality. Quality art, good writing, good story, and/or classic. If the story was classic but the art was bad or the art was great but the story was inane, it did not get a pass. I bought a bunch of books for the girls (and others) at the public library's book sale, which meant they were all a buck. Can't beat that! Otherwise I found good deals on amazon.com and ebay and other such sites, plus thrift stores and used book stores. Sparrow, for instance, got a set of easy readers (a Saddle Club, several Boxcar Children, a couple of Magic Tree House etc...all about twenty-five to fifty cents at the used book store) and a set of classics (The Secret Garden, Little Princess, and Black Beauty). She has already read two of the books (Boxcar children #1 and #7)! I bought her a book light to go with that, as that was actually her number one desire for Christmas. She likes to read before bed, and wanted to extend said time. ;) I concentrated more on quality art for Ginger.

As you may have noticed, I like grouping things together in themes. The over all theme was creativity in art and imagination so to speak, but it included different things. Sparrow got a CD player for her birthday from her Papa last year, and she has really zeroed in on liking Toby Mac, from listening to the Christian radio station here. So I bought her a Toby Mac CD and an old school DC Talk cd. Then I thought I would bam it up a notch and found some more cheap but good CD's and a $3 CD/insert organizer. I covered the organizer in pretty fabric and put a velvet monogram on it then wrapped it all up. Success! I also happened to find a copy on DVD of one of my favorite Hans Christian Andersen tales as done by that old school Faerie Tale Theatre, which was one of my favorite episodes of theirs, for CHEAP. AAaaand one of my favorite wooden toy makers, Small Town Toys *happened* to have a Snow Queen figure...and THEN I stumbled across a cheap used copy of this BEAUTIFUL book about the Snow Queen, which was well written and the art (retold by Ken Setterington and the scherenschnitt by Ernst and Nelly Hofer)...ohmygosh. It's all hand-done German paper cutting, called scherenschnitte. Interesting, H.A. Andersen himself delighted in the art and used it to illustrate *his* stories! Perfect. So that became another theme. ;) I'm saving up for Kai and Gerda!

And remember the 'big' themed presents? Well, one of the "Red Shoes" books never came :( and I didn't get the red shoes tutus done in time, so I am saving that for another time (maybe Valentine's Day). But I DID get the Nutcracker one done!!!

Sparrow modeling the Waltz of the Flowers tutu, crown, and wings

If you recall, my Craft Day only involved one of the tutus. I finished the other Sugar Plum/Clara tutus...

And those crowns...

And the other tutus, i.e. the flower faerie/spring/Waltz of the Flowers tutus...

And THOSE crowns...

And some wings!

I wrapped each dress-up set in tissue, then put them together in a brown paper grocery bag along with the DVD (Ginger) of the ballet, the CD (Sparrow), and the books and then wrapped it with more paper. It was a HUGE hit! Click on the thumbnails to see them in more detail:

Speaking of wrapping and themed gifts, everyone else had a theme, too. And I made good use of the wrapping paper and gift bags we'd made, plus the bows I'd made. For instance, for my mom the theme was "three nights of relaxation". I bought her a book and two movies (yes, cheaply!) and made up a gourmet old fashioned homemade cocoa mix, one for each night. I think there was something else, but I can't remember. Either way, I stuffed it all into one of the gift bags, and then affixed a homemade bow and homemade gift tag:

I had a lot of fun trying to find frugal but beautiful ways to wrap presents...the bows and bags went a long way, and I discovered the bows looked amazing on presents and gift bags!

All in all, it was a beautiful and touching Christmas. More sober, and darker in spots than other years. But the simplicity brought on by both economy and love's efforts was truly wonderful.

Crosswords

2009-12-30T01:39:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been a little obsessed with a new app on my phone...the New York Times Daily Crossword. I enjoy crossword puzzles, but I am not really fond of doing them alone. I am not clever, patient, and smart enough. Plus, I usually don't have a pencil handy.

But this app, oh my. You say "check this word" and it handily puts a big ol' X through whatever letters don't belong. So...yeah...I'm sort of a completionist, and this gives me an instant 'yay or nay', and...oh my. This is way more fun and mentally stimulating than, say, Farmville. Or so I imagine, as I don't actually play that game.

I consider myself a crossword padawan; I know some of the tricks and understand some of the language, but I am still learning and bumbling my way through. When I see a clue in the past tense, I remember my friend Steve explaining how that means the word is, too. See, I learned both an appreciation for crosswords and the interesting language of crosswords from him.

I first met Steve at church; and for a long time he was just my friend's dad. Steve and his wife ran a non-profit bookstore/coffee shop for a time, whose profits went into a local parachurch ministry that supported local churches and various outreaches, including homeless ministry. Steve really had a heart for the lost and forgotten in the city, and was quite the perfect one to run the shop. His primary directive was to love whoever came in.

Looking for a worthy 'hobby', I decided to see about volunteering at the coffee shop. I vaguely knew what it was about, and it seemed awesome, and fortunately Steve looked past all of my faults and lack of barista experience and let me in to his world. So, every Friday morning, I would arrive at opening and help him prepare fresh cookies and serve coffee to whomever happened to wander in. I was particularly blessed to see him interacting with the homeless who came in to get warm; he treated them like VIP's. One time I got to overhear a conversation in which someone accepted Jesus.

We weren't particularly busy on Friday mornings, but I tried to be as helpful as possible (and I do hope I was, despite my utter clumsy slowness making coffee and my frequent oopsies at the register), washing tables and such. In between the scattering of people in the morning and at the lunch hour, Steve and I would enjoy a cup of coffee and he'd graciously listen to my yap about my family and kids, God and politics. I eagerly listened to him on the same subjects, lapping up wisdom and enjoying his heart and his love for his wife and family.

He was at one time a pastor, and it was clear he still had that pastor's heart and mantle. God's peace and love just oozed out his pores. And in between customers and yapping, we'd do whatever crossword puzzles he hadn't yet done in the papers. Mostly he did them and I tried not to appear too stupid while I labored over an answer that was probably ridiculously obvious to him. When we were super stumped I'd look it up on my laptop. He sometimes even saved the puzzles so we could work on them. It was something I looked forward to all week.

Unfortunately, the Lord chose to take him home far too soon for everyone else's comfort. It was a sudden and unexpected accident event, and I still get teary thinking about that. I still miss our Friday morning crosswords.

So, when I labor over a clue for fifteen minutes, I think about how it would have taken him two, and chuckle a little. When I see a clue written in a tricksy crosswordsy way, I remember what Steve taught me about it. I am thankful for the gracious influence he and his wife were on my life, and blessed that he gave me a silly little gift that I enjoy today, though he is gone. And then I gleefully, frustratedly squint at 15 across and will my brain to think better. This one's for you, Steve.

How Many Angels?

2009-12-22T10:26:00.000-08:00

This morning I needed to use the car, which meant taking Hubby to work. So I roused two little sleepyheads and we all piled groggily into the car we're borrowing, Hubby driving and me trying to wake up and not pass out as we headed into the morning's commute.

A gray, overcast day is the lot this second day of winter, and it really wasn't helping my 'can't seem to keep my eyes open' problem. I turned up the Christmas carols on the radio, hoping to rouse my tired brain and set it to the tasks of the day.

As we turned east into the morning, a beautiful song came over the radio precisely at the same moment a widening break in the clouds became visible. The cut in the clouds glowed golden, and rays of gentle sunlight reached down to the earth in clearly defined beams. My breath caught in my throat, and I pondered the significance of the song with the vision before me.

We are a mere few days from Christmas, the day we celebrate the gift of Light to the world. I thought of the angels that visited those humble shepherds that night, singing of the Savior's birth. The sparkling beams reaching to the earth reminded me of the night Heaven came to earth, and "The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world" (John 1:9). Indeed, how many angels were singing his name?

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger." Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests." When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about." So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told. Luke 2:8-20

I felt almost as if I was in the presence of those angels so long ago...what a beautiful early Christmas gift.

The song can be heard here, but the original version is much prettier.

How many angels were singing your name?

Image found at http://sumanandsharmila.wordpress.com/

Christmas Cookie Bake-A-Long: Day 4

2009-12-17T01:02:00.000-08:00

Here are two recipes that are new to me, but I'm dying to try:
Molasses Sugar Cookies

Recipe and photo courtesy of allrecipes.com

1 1/2 cups shortening
2 cups white sugar
1/2 cup molasses
2 eggs
4 cups all-purpose flour
4 teaspoons baking soda
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground cloves
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1 teaspoon salt

Melt the shortening in a large pan on the stove, and cool.
Add sugar, eggs, and molasses, beat well.
In a separate bowl, sift dry ingredients together and add to the pan. Mix well and chill 3 hours or overnight.
Form into walnut-size balls. Roll in granulated sugar. Place on greased cookie sheet about 2 inches apart.
Bake at 375 degrees F (190 degrees C) for 8-10 minutes.
Store in an airtight container to keep from getting overly crisp. If they do lose their softness, an easy way to restore it is to place one slice of fresh bread in the container with the cookies for a couple of hours or overnight and they will be soft again!

~*~*~

There are many traditional Christmas cookies in German cookies, but one of my favorites is definitely Pfeffernussen. I'm itching to try Martha's recipe, found at Martha Stewart's website.

Pfeffernussen
1 1/4 cups confectioners' sugar
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature
3/4 cup firmly packed light-brown sugar
1 large egg
1/4 cup unsulfured molasses
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper. Place the confectioners' sugar in a brown paper bag.
2. In a medium bowl, combine flour, pepper, cinnamon, allspice, nutmeg, cloves, and baking soda. Set aside.
3. Place butter, brown sugar, and molasses in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with paddle attachment. Beat on medium speed until fluffy, about 3 minutes. Beat in egg and vanilla. With mixer on low speed, add flour mixture; beat until just combined. Pinch off dough in tablespoon amounts; roll into 1 1/4-inch balls. Arrange balls 1 1/2 inches apart on prepared baking sheets. (Dough can be frozen at this point, covered tightly with plastic wrap, up to 1 month.)
4. Bake until cookies are golden and firm to the touch with slight cracking, about 15 minutes, rotating sheets halfway through. Transfer sheets to a wire rack to cool slightly, about 10 minutes. Working in batches, place cookies in paper bag; shake until well coated. Let cool completely on wire rack. Store in an airtight container.

Christmas Cookies Bake-A-Long: Day 3

2009-12-16T11:56:00.000-08:00

Monday and Tuesday are my busiest, run-around days (which is why I'm late posting today!). I was hoping to have a couple more recipes to share, but I'm still tweaking them so I will post them later today. However, to get us all started, I thought we'd work with peppermint today! What's more iconic about Christmas sweets than candy canes?

I already posted some Peppermint Snowball Cookies on day one, but I actually have another similar recipe that came from the December 2003 issue of Parents magazine. This is the recipe I am making, personally, this year:

Peppermint Snowballs
1 c. butter, softened
3/4 c. confectioners' sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
1/4 tsp. salt
2 1/4 c. all-purpose flour
1/2 c. quick-cooking oats
10-15 Starlight mints crushed (a heaping 1/4 cup)
red food coloring
more confectioners' sugar for rolling

Heat oven to 375-400. In large bowl, with mixer on high, beat butter and sugar until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Beat in vanilla and salt. Reduce speed to low and beat in flour (dough will be very dry). Beat in oats, mints and 12 drops of red food coloring. Shape heaping teaspoons of dough into balls, place on ungreased baking sheets 1/2" apart and bake for 10-18 minutes (I know, big gap, but it depends on the temperature and humidity and yadda yadda. In my experience, they are done with firm to the touch and lightly browned). Place confectioners' sugar in large bowl. Roll HOT cookies in confectioners' sugar. Let the cookies cool completely, then roll them in the sugar again.

Here is a similar recipe using candy canes: Candy Cane Christmas Cookies. Don't they look festive?

~*~*~

My favorite, MUST-make Christmas cookie, that we make every year and have since before I can remember as a little girl, are Candy Cane Cookies from Betty Crocker. Here is the original cookbook recipe that we follow:

Image courtesy of the Orlando Sentinel

Candy Canes
1/2 c. butter or margarine, softened
1/2 c. shortening (for the record, I often just use butter)
1 c. confectioners' sugar
1 egg
1 1/2 tsp. almond extract
1 tsp. vanilla
2 1/2 c. all-purpose flour
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. red food color
1/2 cup c. peppermint candy
1/2 c. granulated sugar

For the record, we usually also use green food coloring. When the dough is divided, we do so into thirds and do red, green and plain. Also, we always add a little peppermint extract to the dough, about 1/2-1 tsp. Proceed, either way, as follows:

Heat oven to 375. Mix thoroughly butter, shortening, confectioners' sugar, egg, and extracts/vanilla. Blend in flour and salt. Divide the dough in half (or thirds) and blend food color into one half (or third).

For each candy cane, shape 1 tsp. of dough from each half into a 4" rope (For smooth, even ropes, roll the dough back and forth on a lightly-floured board.). Place the ropes side by side and press together lightly; twist. Place on a greased baking sheet and curve the top of each twist to form the handle of the cane.

Bake about 9 minutes or until set and very light brown. Mix candy and granulated sugar; sprinkle on the hot cookies and remove from the baking sheet.

A couple of tips...it's best to actually just line the cookie sheets with something such as parchment paper, as the candy/sugar melts to the hot pan and it's a bear to clean up. Also, you want to sprinkle the sugar on the candy canes IMMEDIATELY after they come out of the oven, so have it ready. Otherwise it won't melt and stick.

~*~*~

I've never made these, but they look goooooood...
Chocolate Candy Cane Cookies

Cookies

* 1 3/4 cups all purpose flour
* 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (preferably Dutch-process)
* 1/4 teaspoon salt
* 1 cup sugar
* 3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
* 1 large egg

Filling

* 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons powdered sugar
* 3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
* 3/4 teaspoon peppermint extract
* 2 drops (or more) red food coloring
* 1/2 cup crushed red-and-white-striped candy canes or hard peppermint candies (about 4 ounces)

For cookies:
Whisk flour, cocoa, and salt in medium bowl to blend. Using electric mixer, beat sugar and butter in large bowl until well blended. Beat in egg. Add dry ingredients; beat until blended. Refrigerate dough 1 hour.

Preheat oven to 350°F. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper. Scoop out dough by level tablespoonfuls, then roll into smooth balls. Place balls on prepared baking sheets, spacing about 2 inches apart. Using bottom of glass or hands, flatten each ball to 2-inch round (edges will crack). Bake until cookies no longer look wet and small indentation appears when tops of cookies are lightly touched with fingers, about 11 minutes (do not overbake or cookies will become too crisp). Cool on sheet 5 minutes. Transfer chocolate cookies to racks and cool completely.

For filling:
Using electric mixer, beat powdered sugar and butter in medium bowl until well blended. Add peppermint extract and 2 drops food coloring. Beat until light pink and well blended, adding more food coloring by dropfuls if darker pink color is desired. Spread 2 generous teaspoons filling evenly over flat side of 1 cookie to edges; top with another cookie, flat side down, pressing gently to adhere. Repeat with remaining cookies and peppermint filling.

Place crushed candy canes on plate. Roll edges of cookie sandwiches in crushed candies (candies will adhere to filling). DO AHEAD Cookie sandwiches can be made ahead. Store in single layer in airtight container at room temperature up to 3 days or freeze up to 2 weeks.

Christmas Cookie Bake-A-Long: Day 2!

2009-12-14T23:47:00.001-08:00

This morning we'll be working in refrigerated dough, so let's get started with the dough and come back later for the rest of it!

Cut out cookies are fun for all ages! We often plan things with special friends and family that involve making and decorating cookies. Make the dough ahead, and then plan a fun afternoon with the kids cutting out fun Christmas shapes and decorating little gingerbread men and women! Of course, gingerbread cutouts don't need to stay in the realm of children; frosted sugar cookies and gingerbread can take on elegance and sophistication with flavors, colors and designs. This is why I think gingerbread cookies are the quintessential Christmas cookie. It is all the 'flavors' of the season, and all of the versatility...the peaceful quiet elegance and the bright, joyful tinsel.

Now, I like gingersnaps, but I like my gingerbread to be soft. I searched and researched a long time before coming up with this recipe! If you are looking for a regular, crispier gingerbread dough, Martha Stewart's basic recipe for Gingerbread Cookies is a good place to start!

Once upon a time, I adapted a recipe for gingerbread cookies from a borrowing of several cookbook recipes. I think I was 12. It's pretty good, though. It's in between my favorite recipe and Martha's in terms of firmness, I'd say.

Gingerbread Cutouts
1/2 c. sugar
1/2 c. light molasses
1 1/2 tsp. ground ginger
1 tsp. allspice
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. cloves
2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 c. butter, cut into pieces
1 large egg, beaten
3 1/2 c. all purpose flour

In a 3-quart saucepan, combine sugar, molasses and spices. Heat to boiling over medium heat, stirring occaisionally with wooden spoon. Remove pan from heat. Stir in baking soda (mixture will foam in pan). Add butter, stir until melted. Stir in eggs and then flour, quickly.

On floured surface, knead dough until thoroughly blended. Divide in half. Wrap one half and set aside. Preheat oven to 325. With floured rolling pin, roll out each half of dough slightly less than 1/4" thick. With floured cookie cutters, cut desired shapes. Place 1" apart on lightly greased cookie sheet. Bake until edges brown, about 12 minutes.

Speaking of gingerbread, does anyone have any great gingerbread ...bread or cake recipes? :) Anyways, as I said the above recipe is one I've used over the years, but not my favorite.

Before I get to that, though, I'd like to share my favorite sugar cookie recipe. It was given to my by my in-laws, and I think it came out of a cookbook but I don't know which one.

Sugar Cookies
1 1/2 c. powdered sugar
1 c. margarine or butter
1 egg
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 tsp. almond extract
2 1/2 c. all purpose flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. cream of tartar
(opt. granulated sugar)

Mix powdered sugar, butter, egg, vanilla and almond extract. In a separate small bowl, mix together flour, soda and cream of tartar. Add this into the big bowl and mix until fully incorporated. Cover and refridgerate at least 2 hours. Heat oven to 375 degrees F. Divide dough in halves; roll each half 3/16" thick on lightly floured cloth-covered board and cut out desired shapes. If not frosting, sprinkle with granulated sugar after cutting into shapes. Place on lightly-greased baking sheet, and bake until edges are light brown, about 7-8 minutes. Makes 5 dozen 2" cookies

Image courtesy of Kaboose.com

While this dough isn't refrigerated, in my family it wouldn't be Christmas without my mother's Christmas Date Tarts. My mom makes them nearly every year, and this is a special family recipe...I don't know how old it is or its origins, but it's definitely part of our extended family Christmas experience!

Christmas Tarts
3/4 c. shortening (I use butter)
1 c. sugar
1 c. brown sugar
3 eggs
3/4 sour milk (or buttermilk)
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
1 tsp salt
4 tsp baking powder
1/2 t. salt
2 1/2 c. flour (about)

Mix sugars, soda, baking powder, salt, and two cups of sifted flour together. Add shortening, eggs, milk, vanilla and remaining flour, mix well. If dough is too sticky, add more flour. Roll out (1/8-1/4") and cut round patties out of the dough. Put 1 tsp date filling in half of the patties; cover with another patty and pinch closed. Bake at 400 degrees until lightly brown, about 10 minutes, on an ungreased cookie sheet.

Date Filling:
2 c finely chopped dates
2/3 c. sugar
2/3 c. boiling water
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tbsp butter

Cook dates, sugar and water 6-8 minutes or until thick, stirring. Remove from heat; add lemon juice and butter. Cool.

And now for the gingerbread shapes recipe I promised. You'll never guess the secret ingredient! What?! Pumpkin?! How did you know?!?! :P Incidentally, I've also increased the butter by 1/4 c and substituted 1/2 cup of applesauce for the cup of pumpkin...it's delicious as well. I made this recipe up a couple of years ago, and it remains my go-to Gingerbread recipe.

Ginger cutting out cookies last year at our annual cookie making party with my sisters

Pumpkin Gingerbread People
1/2 c Butter, softened
1 c packed brown sugar (or sucanat, or some combination thereof)
cream together

add
2/3 c molasses
1 c packed pumpkin
1 tsp vanilla
2 tbsp milk or 1/2 an 1/2

In separate bowl whisk or mix together:
About 3 1/2 c flour
3/4 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp ginger
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp cloves
1/2 tsp allspice

Mix flour mixture into wet mixture a little at a time, until thoroughly incorporated. Divide into two, cover, and refrigerate at least 3 hours or overnight. Roll out 1/4 in thick, cut out cookies, and place on cookie sheets (Can be ungreased, or lined with parchment paper). Heat oven to 350. Bake for 8-11 minutes until dough barely retains finger imprint when gently pressed with a finger tip. Cool on sheets 2 minutes, remove and allow to cool. Decorate, and store in air-tight container.

2 years ago, from a cookie-decorating party with dear friends

Check back later for some frosting and decorating ideas!

Christmas Cookie Bake-A-Long: Day 1!

2009-12-14T04:30:00.000-08:00

It's Monday! I don't know what your Mondays are like, but mine are busy. So today is all about simple. First up, today I'll be making some Super Easy Pumpkinickerdoodles!

This is a new favorite at our house, and everyone who has tried them has loved them. In fact, the other day Ginger got an owie, and she actually asked specifically for these cookies!

Because it's the beginning of the week, and they won't keep all week and into Christmas, I'm actually not going to bake them...just make the dough up, form the balls and roll 'em in the sugar, and then freeze them. :) That way, when I need to bake them all up to send/give out cookies, they'll be ready to go without dirtying any extra pans.

For today, that's all I'll be making...just a ton of these delicious little numbers. But if you'd like more inspiration, here are some other good, easy drop cookies:

Pumpkin-Coconut Spice Drops
Another recipe I made up.

1 1/2 (3/4 C.) sticks of butter, softened
1 1/2 C. packed brown sugar
2 tsp. vanilla
2 eggs
1 cup mashed or pureed pumpkin
1 1/2-2 C. all-purpose flour (I used somewhere between this figure, I started with 1.5 C which may be enough depending on your pumpkin etc.)
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. ginger
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1/4-1/2 tsp. cloves (depending on your affinity for cloves)
2 C. rolled oats
1 1/2 C. flaked coconut (mine was sweetened)

Preheat oven to 350, lightly grease cookie sheets. With electric mixer, beat together butter, brown sugar, and vanilla for one minute. Add eggs and pumpkin, mix thoroughly. In a separate bowl, whisk together all other dry ingredients except for oats and coconut. Add slowly to pumpkin mixture, while mixer is on low speed, scraping bowl frequently. Mix until completely incorporated.

Add and mix by hand the oat and coconut. Drop by heaping TBSP's onto the lightly greased cookie sheets. Bake for 10-14 minutes or until edges are golden brown. Let rest on baking sheets for a few minutes before transferring to a cooling rack.

Peppermint Snowball Cookies
Recipe by Betty Crocker, though I have made and enjoy these.
1/4 cup finely crushed peppermint candies (12 candies)
1/4 cup powdered sugar
1 cup butter, softened
1/3 cup powdered sugar
1/4 cup finely crushed peppermint candies (12 candies)
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 1/4 cups Gold Medal® all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt

1. Heat oven to 325ºF. Mix 1/4 cup crushed candies and 1/4 cup powdered sugar; reserve. Mix butter, 1/3 cup powdered sugar, 1/4 cup crushed candies and the vanilla in medium bowl. Stir in flour and salt.
2. Shape dough by level measuring tablespoonfuls into balls. Place about 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheet.
3. Bake 12 to 15 minutes or until set but not brown. Immediately remove from cookie sheet; roll in reserved candy mixture. Cool completely on wire rack. Roll in candy mixture again.

Super Easy Pumpkinickerdoodles

2009-12-14T04:13:00.000-08:00

Between the crafting and the crazy busyness that are my Mondays, I thought I'd share a very simple cookie of my own recipe.

It really is so simple, and so good, you'd never guess it originates with a cake mix. ;) Of course, that's not to say you can't use a homemade cake mix base or basic sugar cookie base...but then they would just be Pumpkinickerdoodles, and not SUPER EASY Pumpkinickerdoodles. And today is all about super easy. Trust me. It's Monday.

Super Easy Pumpkinickerdoodles
1 box of cake mix (preferably French Vanilla, though white or yellow work)
1 cup of pumpkin puree
1/4 cup of butter, softened
1 egg
1 tsp. ginger
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1/2 tsp. allspice

About 2/3 cup granulated sugar
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. cloves

Dump cake mix into a large mixing bowl. Add in the ginger, nutmeg, and allspice. Stir to combine. Add egg, butter, and pumpkin puree. Mix until moistened and incorporated. Using an electric mixer makes this easy, though you can certainly combine by hand.

In a separate, small bowl, combine sugar, cinnamon and cloves. Drop dough by rounded teaspoons into sugar mixture, and coat well, forming into a ball. Dough will be sticky, but will hold shape. Place on a greased or prepared cookie sheet (I use parchment paper). Don't flatten, just put the ball of yummy goodness on the cookie sheet as is. Bake at 350 degrees F for 8-13 minutes. They should be moist but not doughy/gooey. With the color, it's hard to tell if they're very lightly brown around the edges, but if you can tell, that's a good indication of doneness. They should be slightly moist and soft, so don't overbake. I actually scrape a bit of cookie off the top of one to test. And there you have it...a delicious holiday twist on the classic snickerdoodle that is easy and fun to boot.

This is a good Christmas cookie because it's quick and easy, but it can also be made ahead and frozen. The cookies do okay frozen, but for best results freeze the dough balls after you've rolled them in the sugar mixture. I just stick them in the freezer for about half an hour, on something flat, so they firm up. Then I wrap them well and put them back into the freezer until they are needed. That way, when it comes down to baking day you have one less bowl to dirty. If company comes over for some eggnog and caroling, you can pop them in and have fresh-baked cookies at your disposal.

Craft Day: Playdough

2009-12-14T03:37:00.000-08:00

One of the best tools in a toddler's box is that soft, non-toxic, moldable dough we call 'playdough'. If your kids are anything like mine, though, they tend to go through it pretty fast...so we make playdough fairly frequently around here. The homemade versions are the best, I think. You can control the ingredients, and they don't smell as weird as Playdoh. In fact, you can even use natural dyes like tea and vegetable juices to make playdough, so it can truly be a natural and non-toxic toy. Playdough is edible in the sense that it's made from edible ingredients and is non-toxic, but it is VERY salty, so it's not a good idea to consume quantities of it on a regular basis ;).

Playdough stimulates the senses, and the bright colors plus the tactile sensory actions that go with it can be an immeasurably pleasurable experience for a little explorer, plus a good way to build hand-eye coordination and brain connections. So I figured, why not get yet another sense involved?

Through necessity, this Christmas needs to be extra, extra frugal. We're out of playdough at the moment, so I decided to make some for a Christmas present for Ginger and some of our little friends. It's very, very cheap. It can be stored very cheaply as well...we used various and sundry small tupperwares, but ziploc bags are excellent...or old, washed yogurt cups with lids, etc. I also used some of our little glass jars. I decided to make colorful, holiday-themed scented playdough to make it extra fun :)

My Crazy Method
I used a recipe similar to this cooked one, except I added the food coloring in at the beginning:
1 c. flour
1/2 c. salt
1 c. water
1 tbsp. oil
2 tsp. cream of tartar
Food coloring by drops

Gather the supplies...

Stir the dry ingredients together. Whisk or stir in the wet. Turn the burner on medium. Stir, stir, stir.

As you stir and the playdough cooks, lumps will form. This is ok. Just keep stirring, and try to fold it a bit from the bottom so that the bottom, cooked stuff gets replaced with the gooey non-cooked stuff. Stir until a ball forms and most if not all of the goo is gone. Remove from heat immediately.

Scrape the playdough out of the pan, and put it on a sheet of wax paper. Knead it a couple of times.

To cool it quickly, I spread it thin on the wax paper and covered it with saran wrap tightly to prevent drying out. Then I distributed it into the various containers.

As I said, I also scented the playdough. I used about a tablespoon of the extracts, or more. I also gave them fun holiday names :D
Pink: Peppermint Stick Pink; peppermint extract
Orange: Christmas Morning Mandarin; dried bits of orange peel plus orange extract
Yellow: Elegant Eggnog; pumpkin spice tea, various eggnog-y spices
Green: Evergreen Emerald; fresh rosemary infused water, finely powdered rosemary
Blue: Sweetly Singing Sapphire; vanilla
Purple: Sugar Plum Visions; cherry-vanilla tea, almond extract

As you can see, instead of just plain water for some of the playdoughs I boiled the water then steeped for at least 20 minutes before draining it off. I think those scents turned out the best. Rosemary has a nice pine-ish scent, and is edible, unlike fir needles, so I went with that. ;)

For the Elegant Eggnog, I also added a bunch of gold glitter. :) After the playdoughs had cooled (I made triple recipes for each scent), I packaged them up and added labels:

All in all, this was a fun, easy, frugal craft that makes a great gift for all the toddlers on your list!

Craft Day: Tutus

2009-12-14T02:01:00.000-08:00

Beth at The Natural Mommy is hosting another 2-day craft-o-rama! So today I will be crafting AND baking. But since that will happen later this evening, I offer the following post to whet your whistle:

What is the childhood of little girls without tutus, I ask you. :D

Now, tutus aren't just for kids. If there is a dancer in your life, they may really enjoy a homemade, from-the-heart, one-of-a-kind dance skirt. I know that I sure did...my mommy used to make them for me. The ballet school I attended had very strict rules about dress, and only the highest level of dancers got to be extra expressive and wear things like colored leotards and wrap skirts in class. So that was special :) If you need more ideas for the male or female dancer--adult or child--I highly recommend this book. If you are interesting in a wrap or ballet skirt tutorial, here are a few that look interesting to me:

Circle Skirt Tutorial

Wrap Skirt Instructions

Girly frilly fluffery tutu tutorial.

Anyhoo...for Christmas this year, I'm keeping things simple and frugal with the kids and running with some themes. Pretend play/make believe, more exactly. And the two bigger gifts have to do with ballet. One is all about "The Nutcracker", which they are enamored of at the moment, and one is all about the "Red Shoes", which is a ballet based on Hans Christian Andersen's fairytale. So they are each getting some tutus, crowns, wings, etc. from the ballets plus some books and a DVD of the ballet. Well..."The Red Shoes" DVD, for Sparrow because it deals with some more adult themes, is actually a movie based on fictitious ballet based on the fairytale, kind of. ;) For the books I really tried to find books that had good art, and I also tried to find ones appropriate for their ages...I got Sparrow the complete works of Hans Christian Andersen because another of her gifts involves "The Snow Queen". I chose "The Red Shoes" because of the fairytale connection, and because the movie was a favorite of mine growing up. I chose "The Nutcracker" because, as I said, they are enamored of it, and we were blessed with tickets to go this year (finally!) by one of my cousins.

One of the tutus is supposed to be representative of the Sugar Plum Fairy/Clara. I didn't follow any tutorial, but I DID document my progress. So here's what I did:

Supply List
~ Something pretty to use for a waist casing that preferably has the edges 'finished' already, such as blanket binding, ribbons, etc. Cut this 2x the length of the waist measurement.
~ At least a yard of netting...you need the width plus a length that is at least 4-6 times the measured waist length. So, for instance, if I was making a skirt that was 10 inches long, I'd need enough fabric to make 2 layers worth of length. Netting is usually 72" wide, and if the wee little waist was 20", I could get away with 1 1/3 yards of fabric...that would be 2 panels per each layer.
~ At least a yard of tulle (see above, plus, you can have as many layers of tulle as you want)
~ Roll of pre-cut tulle
~ Elastic for a waist, cut 1-3" smaller than the waist
~ Embellishments

My Crazy Method
First, I cut 2 layers of netting and panels of tulle in the desired width. How long? I didn't measure exactly but the goal was to be 4-6 times longer than the length of the waist.

I used sparkly white tulle, white netting, and a layer of lavender pre-cut and rolled tulle (found in the wedding section) to give the white a bluish depth. I didn't have tulle the correct length, so I just cut strips and layered it on top of the netting so that there were at least two layers at all times, staggering the panels so there wasn't clear 'openings' in the netting or tulle. I used the purple tulle roll underneath the netting, to keep the netting from being scratchy against little legs and snag against the tights. At this point, you would pin it together if you are smart, but I just kept layering as I sewed and it came out even, with 2-3 layers of netting on top of the tulle. Since this is gathered, I used a long stitch and didn't finish the ends.

Usually, to gather you sew two seams, going the same direction with the same side facing up to add stability but I didn't bother. I just gathered it up...

At this point, it's time to cut 2 lengths of ribbon OR the seam/quilt/blanket binding 2 times longer than the waist measurement. If you are using two lengths of ribbon, as I did in this particular case, sew them together along the top...I used a zig-zag because that seems to work better and snag less on ribbon.

Now, adjust the gathers of the tulle to the length of the ribbon/binding, plus at least an inch on each end. If you want to add any sewed-in embellishments, like knotted ribbon or different tulle colors, now is the time to arrange them. :) You can make a ribbon-tulle-ribbon sandwich and pin it if you like, and in fact if you were smart you would. But I am not, and lack patience, so I abandoned that after two pins and just fit it in as I sewed. Make sure to adjust the gathers evenly, so it isn't all bunched up in some places but flat in others.

Carefully sew all the layers together, using a wide zig-zag to catch and seal all the bits of tulle that may escape. Take care, at this point, to keep the tulle as 'flat' as possible and make sure that the underlayer especially isn't getting sewn over where it shouldn't be.

When you're done, you'll have made a casing:

Now it's time for the old 2 safety pins and elastic trick. :) I use one to do the pushing, and the other to secure the other end of the elastic. This will gather the skirt a second, and fuller, time. When the elastic is all the way through, stitch each end of the casing closed in a small square shape. I zig-zagged the very ends of the ribbon to finish the edges. Adjust the elastic gathers evenly.

Remember how you left at least an inch of gathered tulle sticking out of the ends? This is when this comes in handy. Bring the ends of the casing around and lay one on top of the other, overlapping by 1/2-1 1/2 inches. Sew a little box seam again. Now you have a circle. Sew the extra gathered fabric to the edge of the ribbon/binding casing. This prevents a 'hole' in the skirt, although really you could sew the whole thing together. But seams look tacky in tulle, I think. :)

Voila! A tutu!

Mine needed a little...'frosting'. If yours does, add away! And that is how I made one of the girls' tutus :)

Bake-A-Long Coming This Week!

2009-12-13T01:08:00.001-08:00

Join me Monday, December 14th through Friday, December 18th as we bake our way through Christmas! :) I'll be sharing my favorite Christmas cookie recipes to try each day. Bake them along with me, or bake your own favorites! If you do, please be sure to tell me (especially if you blog about it!) and I'll add you to a list of links each day.

From traditional cookies of my childhood to new creations by moi to old standby's to recent goodies, I'm sure you'll find something delicious!

Ornaments

2009-12-10T14:00:00.000-08:00

If you've been around for any length of time, you know how important traditions are to me, especially around the holidays. One thing we do every year is add special ornaments to our tree, whether homemade or bought to remember a special occasion. Hubby and I almost always pick up an ornament on our anniversary, to commemorate the event.

Ornaments from our 1st anniversary. We went to Victoria, B.C., thus the Victorian shoes.

This year, although we did many special things, we didn't really pick up any ornaments. So we made some! :) A few days ago the girls and I sat down to practice our hand sewing skills and make something pretty for the tree. I have another ornament-making session planned next week where we will add a few more, but we'll be hopefully doing that with friends. :)

Those teddy bears are the first ornaments Sparrow made. This is either 2001 or 2002, I need to look at them

We used some plastic canvas forms and buttons left over from my sister's wedding to create our stylin' one-of-a-kind ornaments. I always have the girls make at least 2, because I will want to cherish their little created treasures forever, but I also want them to have something on THEIR tree when they are out on their own.

During the Disney World Trip my mom took us on, we picked up these ornaments to remember the fun trip.

This way, they'll have special reminders of their childhood events and that they were loved. :) Because that's why we gather ornaments on special events and make them together as a family...when I trim my tree, I don't do it to copy Martha Stewart or impress. Each ornament is a precious connection, a reminder of who we were and who we are. Trimming the tree is a very special event for me every year, thusly, as each ornament is lovingly unwrapped and place I go "Oh! Here's the snowmen we bought on our honeymoon in Leavenworth!" and "Haha, here's the first ornament Sparrow made! That was fun!" And it's as if those precious memories are tangible, sweetly-scented gems in my hands. Christmas is about God's love, and relationship. Our tree points to Christ, simply, and to love.

This year, as we were making the ornaments with gingerbread cookies in hand, Sparrow remarked that she hoped we could make it a tradition to make ornaments *every* year, because she loved it so much. I thought that was really sweet, and it made me feel good to know that she gets it. And that making memories, having traditions and bonding with those we love is important to her, too. :) Those tangible reminders of fun, love and laughter on our Christmas tree are more than symbolic for her, for which I'm thankful.

Here they are, all finished! We had circle, stars, hearts and cross forms. Sparrow made a heart and a star, I tried to make one of each and represent all of the forms and colors we had to work with. I'd found some fun plastic canvas metallic yarn on sale, so it seemed the perfect way to add sparkle to the ornaments.
Mine:

Sparrow's:

Ginger's:

Altogether now!

My faves:

What are some traditions that you and yours share? :)

Free Christmas Music!

2009-12-04T00:08:00.000-08:00

For the 25 days leading up to Christmas, Amazon.com is giving away a new song each day for free! I downloaded Dec. 1st and 3rd's (didn't care for the offering on the 2nd), and it was easy and now I have more beautiful Christmas music in my iTunes :D There's an installer you have to run, but said installer put the songs right into my iTunes no problem. I have no idea if it works the same on PC's. ;)

Try it, it's freeeeeee!

Whose Kids Are These Anyways? Mine, or My Nanny's?

2009-12-03T11:52:00.000-08:00

Recently I read an article that seemed innocent enough. Yet I found myself feeling incredulous and angry. It was an article about a new service cropping up called 'baby planning.' Think wedding planner, but for your birth. On the one hand, as someone pointed out, spending less time deciding on menial inconsequential things like which stroller to use may be put to good use spending more time with the kids. And I am all for saving time to spend it wisely. At first I was indignant at the profession itself, I thought, but after more consideration I realized my reticence wasn't anything to do with a baby planner.

And just to be clear and upfront...I'm not saying that nannies are bad (I was a nanny and I loved it!), or hired help is bad. I'm not saying that mothers shouldn't work. I'm not saying that the people in the article are evil, I just think they are unrealistic. And I'm not saying that there is no value to being individualistic, and that I think we should dissolve the individual building blocks of the family and mesh it into one big conglomerate soup. As I mentioned, help is good, and so is using your time wisely.

The article bothered me on a number of levels. If one is REALLY so busy, that setting aside 20 minutes to research a decision about baby care is so hard, how in the world will you cope with the demands of an infant, toddler, preschooler, child, tween, teen? I mean, I suppose you could hire a planner for every occasion, but wouldn't it be better to acquaint yourself with all that needs to be addressed, first of all, with everything that children entail? After all, if that fancy stroller the planner determined would fit best with your family DOESN'T fit, and you have no idea about strollers, wouldn't you have to either rehire them or spend the time researching options to familiarize yourself before you make another purchase?

Then there is the idea that kids are something to be 'fit into' our lives, instead of a steady part of it. You can't pencil in your kids. Sometimes, the night before your 10:30 presentation to the company's most important client, your child may be up all night barfing. That's life. And if you don't have time to sit down and think about feeding options now, what makes you think you'll have time later, or even for the child in question? If the demands of a high-pressure job are such that your 60+ hour work week is inflexible, what business do you have taking on a child? Parents make thousands of decisions, big and small, through the course of a day regarding their children.

In other words, a baby is more than the sum of its parts. If simply the accessories a baby may or may not need are overwhelming, how much more overwhelming will the actual baby be?

As I said, on the one hand, it's good if you can find ways to save time and spend it wisely with your family. And certainly, no one person can do it all. And I guess that is what rubs me the wrong way...this continued notion that we can 'have it all' and nothing needs suffer. Usually the kids suffer, often in unseen or unacknowledged ways. Or the house suffers. On the one hand, it's good to get advice, and have help. One of my biggest problems with the way America operates is how we have taken individualism to an absurd extreme, even in the church. I'm not talking about freedom, I'm talking about the notion that we are all islands unto ourselves. We only care about ourselves, and at the same time expect that we must do everything that it used to require extended family to take care of.

This is true even in the church. The whole 'leave and cleave' thing, for example, has been very misunderstood and misapplied. The idea that each man and wife is his own unit is certainly true, but the idea that they are a unit unto themselves is not. Taking that one verse and hanging a heavy string on it, particularly an out-of-context string, has actually contributed to the breakdown of the family and society, not stemmed the tide. It used to be that the family was a synonym for the Body of Christ because of what it meant...a group of people with a common or similar purpose, there to back each other up no matter what. The family has an obligation to its members for their success, nourishment, enrichment, and needs. Much in the same way, the Church is supposed to care for the widow and orphan and all of its members in between. But we have gone far away from that. So, apparently, we believe that you aren't 'leaving' your father and mother if you need to crash at their house in a time of economic desperation. That it's better to take a loan from the bank or friends, who have no obligations to you, than it is to share with family. That no one need think of the soldier's family alone for Christmas in their church, because after all, we all take care of ourselves. Ridiculous.

Hear me carefully, I'm not advocating some kind of pseudo-socialism or some kind of family cult. It's all part of a larger point: We have isolated and delineated ourselves to the point of alienating friends and family, and when it comes to deciding on the right kind of baby binky we rely on ourselves or we rely on paid help because we are too busy chasing bigger houses and cars and not busy enough helping each other out. We have no sense of family and no sense of community any more. Combine *that* with the modern ideal that we can have the 60 hour work week and be a part time parent (nannies, cooks, maids, baby planners) and everything is hunky dory, and we have a backwards society.

We are so disconnected from our families, from society, from reality, that the tasks surrounding newborn care are a mystery. We don't learn life skills any more, like time and budget management or how to run a home. So when the time comes to squeak a baby or two in before the ol' biological clock stops ticking for good, we are at a loss. We don't know how to sort the good information from the bad. After all, not all mothers are good, and your mother may have relied on the wisdom of the 'experts' of their time, now out of fashion. And your friends may follow a particular movement that won't work or fit your family or ideals. So I understand (and applaud) the idea that we must research our parenting choices, and understand how people can be short on time. I'm not saying we should just listen to our moms at all times for everything or we shouldn't make our own choices. I'm just saying that having a framework is necessary. And there are certain basic things that don't change from generation to generation, and those are useful things to learn and understand.

So we try to have it all, and yet know that something has to give. Because there is no cooperation any more, we abdicate our power and our responsibilities to people whose interest in us is monetary. Instead of families learning, living, and sharing together, we employ strangers. Instead of pausing or revamping our careers, we make parenting our part-time job. I mentioned that I was a nanny. The family I nannied for was one such family that put their family first instead of their careers, and I greatly admired them for it.

The mother in particular was always looking for ways to keep her career on track and yet make sure that her children were the priority. I watched her over the years accomplish this balancing act with grace and purpose. She was with her kids, present and involved, more than some stay-at-home moms I know! And her kids were the richer for it. I know she made some steep sacrifices for them, but so many years later, it must be so obviously worth it. The last time I saw them, they had grown into beautiful young ladies and I was blessed to be part of their lives.

So I'm not saying it's impossible to have a career and raise kids, I'm just saying it's really darn hard and that something has to give. Kids aren't dolls to be given dinner, baths and a bedtime story before you put them away until the next evening. Because we don't have the community we used to have, it's even harder to get by in our modern 'keep up with the Jones' world. And between the idea that we must have everything in our lives running at 100% full speed AND the notion we must do it all ourselves, excepting hired help, we have a disconnected and disjointed society. It would be better to take that individualism back a few steps and learn to depend on one another, and give to one another.

Unconventional Advent Wreath

2009-12-01T21:27:00.000-08:00

The grand countdown has begun! Christmas is almost here!

Advent began on Sunday. However, our Advent wreath is falling apart and my candles broke last year, so I needed to find a new one. Due to various circumstances, we simply don't have the funds to buy even a candle right now, so I really wasn't sure what I'd do. Then I thought about using candles we already have, and holders. It wouldn't be especially festive but it'd work. That led me to thinking about what Advent is all about (since I was looking for candles of the right color at the very least...apparently I don't have blue or purple--as dictated by Western tradition--or even red[Eastern]!!), and I realized it is a means of counting down to an event--the celebration of Jesus' birth. And how do we celebrate birthdays? With birthday candles of course ;)

I did find birthday candles with blue, pink and white...but how to set them up and display them safely? If only I could make a base of wax...aha! old crayons!

Yes, that's right. I have cobbled together an advent wreath out of crayons and birthday candles. It sounds tacky and perhaps irreverent, but I'm pretty pleased with the results and it made the advent wreath very relatable to my two young children. :) Even if you already have a 'real' one, this is a fun project to do with your kids that anchors the wreath and traditions of Advent with the reality of Jesus' birth. In a concrete and fun way, no less!

I gathered up the 'orphan' crayons...you know, the broken and homeless poor sticks who've lost their paper or the strays who have neither buddies nor box. I peeled them and arranged them in foil baking cups (nestled in a muffin tin). You see where I'm going with this, don't you?

I made crayon cakes! Or chunky crayons or crayon cookies or whatever. What does this have to do with my advent wreath, you wonder...patience, grasshopper.

Aren't they purdy, all ready to go into the oven? So I decided to run with the birthday candle theme and make cupcake candles. I didn't have enough blue crayons to make three or four 'cupcake' bases, so I used purple instead and a pink one for Gaudete Sunday, and a white/yellow base for Christ's candle. And I added glitter, because what's a frosted cupcake without sprinkles?

After they were nice and melted and glorious, I waited for them to firm up a bit and then stuck in the candles...

And voilà! Birthday cupcakes!

Part of the significance of the Advent wreath is in the evergreen circular form. So I clipped some evergreen pieces from outside and tied them together with sparkly curling ribbon. I let Sparrow go to town with curling...

It was her first time curling ribbon along the edge of a scissor blade!

She did pretty good for a beginner :)

We then arranged the wreath on a cake stand I'd borrowed from my mom (Totally appropriate for birthday cupcakes!), threw some confetti on the stand...

...and arranged the cupcakes on the stand. It turned out rather beautiful and elegant, actually! And all for 'free' with the materials I had on hand (plus a borrowed cake stand).

The best part is, after the candles have lent their use this year, the bases will still be totally usable as scribblers. Nothing will go to waste, and while we may return to our more traditional fare next year, I think it's just perfect for this one!

Here are some more photos of the wreath, click to enlarge:

We started this craft on Sunday, but due to running out of time *ahem* we didn't finish it until today. Sunday we did observe Advent in the way we normally do, just minus the candles. We talked about what Christmas means and the hope we have in Christ's birth, death, resurrection, and second coming. We sang appropriate Christmas carols. And we took a walk around the neighborhood to see the Christmas lights already springing up, coming home to candy cane cocoa and homemade cheesy popcorn.

Every Sunday we try observe the Christmas lights...every Sunday there are more lights around, and to me it's a perfect way to illustrate Advent to the kids...out of the darkness, light. And the nearer we get to the glorious day, the greater the light and anticipation. It builds. Christmas, for me, doesn't arrive in one big burst the day after Thanksgiving and sort of hang around only to abruptly halt the 26th. Christmas is something we practice all year round, and during the season of Advent it kicks into gear and blossoms in beauty, hope, joy and anticipation until it bursts into brilliance on Christmas morning and savors in revelry until January 6th, when it fades into quiet anticipation once again.

So, we didn't get to the candle part (it takes time to peel crayons!!!), and yesterday was so busy. Today, though, we finished it and displayed. We also made a chain to count down the days and opened the doors on their advent calendars. Both things are traditions from my childhood. The mood was quite festive this afternoon!

Craft Day Part Two!

2009-11-19T10:10:00.001-08:00

Craft Day actually started on Tuesday but I wasn't able to participate. Consequently I don't have much to show for it, especially because 'life' came up yesterday and I wasn't able to get to the projects I'd planned to do for the girls. Maybe I'll get to them tonight, and post the results anyways.

But I did finish all of the bows I'd cut out from various magazines, so I thought I'd show them off. :) (Still using this tutorial)

One thing I discovered is that the pictures I thought would turn out the prettiest, didn't, and the ones I expected to be plain turned out beautiful. Go figure! ;)

I particularly liked the orange and blue bows

What's that, you say? That doesn't look like paper?

Well, that's because some of them aren't! I didn't take pictures of the process because I didn't think about it, but I decided to try the same method but for ribbon, and then for fabric scraps.

Instead of solely relying on the magic of my glue stick, especially because the first one I tried was grosgrain ribbon ;), I pierced the middle of the bow with an xacto knife and used a brad to fasten it all together! I also cut up a used card (bonus recycling points!) to use as a fastening point and wrote "please reuse me :)" on it. The nice thing about magazine bows is that they can be recycled when they get too rumpled or torn to reuse, but I thought it would be fun to do some infinitely reusable bows as well. It takes kind of a lot of ribbon, though, so that didn't seem terribly frugal or within the reduce/reuse/recycle vein. You COULD use ribbon ends, and in fact this would be a great use for that! But another idea I had was using up those little bitty scraps of fabric that one ends up with after a sewing project. :) And what do ya know, it turned out great!

Here are all the fabric/ribbon bows I made:

And here are all 35 bows:

In my ever-evolving and deepening quest to be as green in my gift giving as possible, this was a great step for me :) I love to decorate presents in fun and interesting ways, and finding a frugal and green option is a real relief! I was surprised at how easy and quick this is, and how elegant and festive they turned out. It's worth a try, trust me! :D

Craft Day Part One :)

2009-11-18T15:09:00.001-08:00

Today I am participating in Craft Day, hosted by Beth over at The Natural Mommy!

I have a few things planned for the day, mostly things that I don't want the girls to see so they'll be later ;) But I decided to try my hand at making bows from magazine pages. A great way to reuse and recycle :) I used this tutorial, except instead of staples and glue dots, I used a glue stick for all of it. I think the glue stick actually works better (and is less wasteful/expensive). :)

I looked through a couple of Better Homes and Gardens magazines I found lying around and found some good candidates. However, I discovered that the Christmas catalog made the most "Christmasy" bows. :) Both girls made one, as well. The twisting was too hard for my four year old, but my 8 year old managed just fine. I'm still in process, but here are the bows finished so far:

I think this one is my favorite :)

Here are two that look like Christmas to me...one is a full page Folgers ad, and one is a page out of the Oriental Trading Company's Christmas catalog.

If you'd like to join, please head on over to The Natural Mommy! She's gone crafting craaazy :D And has a bunch of tutorials up!

For some inspiration:
The Common Room's round up of homemade Christmas gifts

Simply Vintage is having a homemade Christmas carnival as well, and there are tons of great ideas!

Thankful List

2009-11-05T12:58:00.000-08:00

Every year I focus on being grateful in the month of November, striving to improve my heart attitude and putting extra effort into remembering and celebrating the reasons I have to be thankful. Of course we should give thanks always, and remain in a humble posture of thankfulness, but I like to put a particular focus on it during the month of Thanksgiving.

This year I'm trying to 'live it out loud' with a few challenges...I'm participating in a 30 day giving challenge, a daily status update on Facebook about something I'm thankful for, and thought I'd do the alphabet thankful list and write it down here, along with my kids' alphabet thankful lists.

My A-Z Thankful List:	Sparrow's Thankful List	Ginger's Thankful List:
A: Autumn B: Blessings C: Creme Brulee D: Drinking Tea E: Earth F: Freedom G: God H: Hands I: Irises J: Jesus K: Kinship L: Lyrics M: Missionaries N: Nectarines O: Origami P: Pumpkins Q: Quality R: Rain S: Silliness T: Trinity U: Umbrellas V: Violins W: Warmth X: Xerox Y: Yards Z: Zest (citrus)	A: Apples B: Bugs C: Creatures D: Dogs E: Elephants F: Fabric G: Ginger H: Horses I: Illustrations J: Jesus K: Kangaroos L: Lizards M: Mom N: Native Americans O: Ostriches P: Pie Q: Quilts R: Reptiles S: Siblings T: Turtles U: Ukuleles V: Valentines W: Water X: X-rays Y: You (mom) Z: Zach	A: Alligators B: Ballet and Balls C: Candy D: Dinner E: Elevators F: Food G: Grapes H: Hugs I: Icecream J: Jesus K: Kisses L: Loving M: Monkeys N: Nighttime O: Owls P: Ponies Q: Quail R: Rainbows S: Snuggles T: Tickles U: Underwear V: The letter V W: Wishes X: Xander Y: Yummy food Z: Zoos

My Daily Thankful Status:
Nov. 1st: Honey vanilla chamomile tea
Nov. 2nd: Instinct
Nov. 3rd: I am thankful for the abundance of healthy, nourishing, local seasonal fruits and vegetables that the good Lord made and the organic farmer grew :D that went in to my soup today! (except the yams...they were from far away...)
Nov. 4th: I am thankful for the rich beauty of autumn. The gray skies tempered by the brilliance of jewel-hued trees, as if they were giant bouqets of flowers...God's floral arrangements to keep things cheery before the dead of winter sets in.
Nov. 5th: I am thankful today for my stainless steel tea kettle. I got it as a wedding gift, and it has served me faithfully for years--blessing family and friends with a hot cuppa, and soothing sore throats.
Nov. 6th: I am thankful for our Founding Fathers. For all its flaws, I do believe we have one of the best systems and the original vision set forth is a thing of moral beauty. I am grateful that I was born and live in America, for the freedoms that others have paid dearly for and the innovations begotten by those freedoms and the financial system we have.
Nov. 7th: I am thankful for family. They are always there for me when I need them, and understand me the best. I am thankful for the gift and blessing they are to me, and for the opportunities they provide for me to be a gift and a blessing
Nov. 8th: I am thankful for Jesus Christ. I wouldn't have made it through this crazy life without Him, and I know I'll be in a better place when I leave this crazy life thanks to Him.
Nov. 9th: I am thankful for seatbelts.
Nov. 10th: I am thankful for sleep. There really is a beautiful cycle to life...too much sleep is bad, but too much activity is also unhealthy. Enough sleep is a good thing. And it's great when it happens!
Nov. 11th: I am thankful today for the blessing of friends :) A little slice of God's love on the earth...true friends are with you no matter what, and the best friends are the ones that drive out of their way to cheer you up and make something go right in a nothings-going-right kind of week.
Nov. 12th: I am thankful for the ability to take photographs. They are not as good as memories and personal experiences, but they are good memory aids and bring lots of beauty, nostalgia and joy to me.
Nov. 13th: I am thankful today for the gift of music. There is so much beauty that God packed into this world, and music is a unique gift that we humans share with Him. It brightens my world, and I am thankful to be a blessing in this way to others. It is a wonderful means of expressing that which cannot be captured in mere words or pantomine. When we tap into the soul of music, we touch the Divine.
Nov. 14th: I am thankful for little hugs. They are the most tender and healing of all hugs, I think.
Nov. 15th: I am thankful for modern conveniences. I am truly blessed to live in an era and area where electricity, water, heat/cool are readily available. Furthermore, a washing machine, dryer, dishwasher? I get to have 'servants' without compromising my moral conscience, woot!
Nov. 16th: I am thankful for houseplants. They bring cheer AND oxygen. Yay for plants that can live inside!
Nov. 17th: I am thankful that I had a supportive and knowledgeable mother when I had my first baby, so that I felt confident choosing to breastfeed! After further educating myself, I became committed, and given the astronomical benefits of breast versus formula, I'm grateful I was able to offer that to both my babies!
Nov. 18th: I am thankful today for fabric. I love the colors and textures, and one of my supreme pleasures in life is taking a flat, shapeless rectangle of fabric and creating something beautiful, 3-D and useful out of it. A piece of fabric is a little slice of endless possibility.
Nov. 19th: I am thankful that His mercies are new every morning. :)
Nov. 20th: I am thankful for pets :) Animals can be a source of joy, healing, and affection and I am thankful for the pets I have had the privilege to love over the years.
Nov. 21st: I am thankful today for compassion. No man is an island, and we were created for fellowship. If there was no compassion, the world would be a bleak place. I am thankful for the compassion showed me by various people when I needed it the most, and pray I am able to bless others in the same measure. Give it a try, sometime...look through another's perspective, see another's heart, look at them with the eyes of God and find your own heart changed and softened.
Nov. 22nd: I am thankful for apples. I think they are perhaps my favorite food to eat.
Nov. 23rd: I am thankful for the blessing and opportunity to live a sensual life. No, not like that. A life engaged and enriched by my senses. Not everyone has all of them, and I am grateful that I can smell the blooming lilacs in the spring and the wood fires of winter. Blessed that I can watch God paint the sky in sunset tones and promise us life with rainbows. Lucky that I can taste the just-baked pumpkin pie and savor the sweetness of lemonade. Amazed that I can hear echoes of past master's glory through music, and the laughter of children. Thankful that I can feel my love's arms around me and the softness of my daughter's skin.
Nov. 24th: I am thankful today for a sense of humor. Laughter is indeed a powerful medicine, and humor a powerful weapon when used correctly. It is the velvet wrapped around the brick of life; without the ability to laugh at ourselves and the situations of life we would be glum and hopeless indeed.
Nov. 25th: I am thankful for my children. My life is greatly enriched, my character challenged and strengthened, and every facet of my life has been colored, broadened and made precious because I have them in it. I am blessed to be a mommy to two wonderful, amazing daughters!
Nov. 26th: I am thankful today for my salvation in Jesus Christ! (John 14:6). Being a Christian gives me strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow. I do not fear death, and when loved ones die in the Lord I am comforted knowing I will see them again. And when I see them again it will be in a happy place where no more tears or suffering exist, and I can see my Savior face to face. :D Every aspect of my life is affected by my faith, and for the better. It brings me peace, joy, and life. Yay!
Nov. 27th: I am thankful for the weather here. We get all kinds of weather, but usually not too extreme. I love that our climate is mild and not too cold or too hot, and that all the rain brings teeming green life.
Nov. 28th: I am thankful for the weather here. We get all kinds of weather, but usually not too extreme. I love that our climate is mild and not too cold or too hot, and that all the rain brings teeming green life.
Nov. 29th: I am thankful there are men & women in our country and the world, ready to spend their lives to protect mine. I'm thankful for the police, fire department, EMT's, armed forces, Red Cross, churches & others round the world who are first responders in a crisis and ready to serve and protect. This thankful status is dedicated to the four Lakewood officers who were murdered today; thank you for your service in my stead
Nov. 30th: I am thankful today for Generosity. A spirit of giving, a heart of compassion and love--a desire to meet the needs around you is very Christlike. I have been blessed by others' generosity and giving hearts and I am so grateful!

I thought about posting what I am doing for the 30 Day Giving Challenge, but then I decided that in keeping with the spirit of giving, it's one of those things we do 'in secret' so to speak. So instead I just encourage you to think about one way or one thing you can give of yourself every day. Take care of the thanks, but even positive emotions can become stifling if there is no action, so make sure you take care of the giving. It doesn't have to be big or spectacular. It can be a pot of soup to an ill friend, a little gift to brighten someone's day, volunteering your time and energy and action at a soup kitchen, an hour of prayer for someone's specific need, or perhaps a donation to a charity. Be creative and be consistent; you will end up more blessed than you could ever imagine!

Rainbow Soup

2009-11-03T19:40:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite things about autumn and winter is soup. And stew. And the bubbly, warm, lovely wonderfulness that is the nourishment of a hot bowl of soup and a side of warm homemade bread. I think soups and stews can indeed be very nutritious and a hearty guard against the flu season. After all, so many good, anti-viral and immune-boosting ingredients are a common feature of soup. There is something in particular about chicken soup; the effects and formulation have even been studied!

When I feel a cold coming on, this is one of my first lines of defense. I believe very strongly in the God-made power of foods to nourish, support, and heal. One such soup I make is Rainbow Soup, named because the goal is to represent each color family in the vegetables. Every time I make it, I vary the ingredients, depending on what's available. I've used blueberries, blackberries, pumpkin, squash, green beans, and a variety of other vegetables and fruits.

Tonight, I sauteed chopped red, yellow, and green peppers; 1/2 of a purple cabbage; some celery; a red onion; a yellow neck squash; a couple of zucchini and some grated fresh ginger root in butter--lots of butter ;)--with some salt and pepper. I then added a bunch of chicken broth (or stock), about a cup of tomato soup, a dash of blueberry/blackberry juice, some chopped cooked chicken, 2 T. crushed garlic, a couple of chopped beets, broccoli florets, some potatoes and carrots, and two chopped yams. Oregano, marjoram, a pinch or two of thyme, cayenne, paprika, a dash of nutmeg, tarragon, ginger, and of course salt to taste. A cup of rice was added as well. It's just heavenly! :)

Again, the goal is to represent the spectrum of color in vegetables. The broth is a lovely purpley red, and it's a very versatile soup :) All the different color families have different nourishing and health-promoting properties, and the ginger, garlic, oregano, thyme, and cayenne are excellent cold-fighting herbs.

Apples and Posterboard

2009-09-10T19:01:00.001-07:00

With all of the recent posts on homeschooling, I figured I might as well share about our first day!

September is usually a month of review for us. I try to cram in one month what we learned in one year in regards to basic subjects like math and reading. Sometimes this spills into October, sometimes it doesn't. Again, we learn year round, but I don't do a lot of formal or focused schoolwork with Sparrow from June til September.

We learn a Bible verse and a hymn a week, or so is the plan. ;) This year I am struggling with what I want to teach about civics and patriotism, so while normally we would start with the pledge of allegiance, we didn't this morning. These things typically begin our structured learning for the day.

Today we did some work in workbooks...it is my younger daughter's first time with 'preschool lite' and to my surprise she adored working in her book...she wanted to do every page! ;) We'll see if it lasts!

Sparrow in the grass, working on phonics/logic activities	First workbook lessons!

This year we are doing two unit studies-one on our state's history and one on seasons. So we are doing a unit on autumn at the moment. For the month of September, we are learning about apples, which will actually fortuitously dovetail into our state history studies. But the beauty of unit studies are just that...they can dovetail into just about anything. Learning about the season of fall, we are learning botany and biology, weather and climate, and relating it to many other subjects as well--such as art, history, cultures, math, grammar, reading, anthropology, environmental, Bible, etc. Field trips will abound. And it will all take place in the every day beat of life, as we observe it happening around us.

With the unit on our state, we will be learning history and geography primarily, but it will of course lend itself to all the other subjects as well, and also be a natural outflow of simply living in the state.

I am certainly looking forward to all the field trips and activities I have planned for this, as well as all the delicious apple-related food we will consume. For October we will be doing pumpkins and squash; for November we will be learning about cranberries and root vegetables like potatoes.

So today, we celebrated the beginning of the school year proper with apple treats...sliced apples with caramel dip, pure apple juice, and cinnamon-dusted apple chips. :)

We also used some sliced apples for a stamping project. We made some gift bags and wrapping paper for the apple-related treats we plan on giving to some people in a few weeks. The girls had a lot of fun with this...and I was glad we were outside, because it was QUITE messy!

This is the first year I have done anything 'formal' with my younger daughter. Now that she's four, we'll step up some of our Montessori work and explore some math and phonics concepts, as well as learning in our fall/state units what she can :) I am not a huge fan of formal learning for kids her age, but she REALLY wants to do what her big sister is doing, thus the workbooks and such. So technically, this is her 'preschool' year...and what would a preschool or kindergarten be without a giant colorful calendar?!

I couldn't find any calendars that I liked, much less could afford. So I made one. Someday I will make a fully reusable fabric calendar. But for now, our poster-board one will suffice. I can use it at least twice, anyways ;) The white squares will be filled in with what we're doing that day (like, gymnastics lesson or HRC), and represent the days yet to come ('white' is still very blank...those days haven't been written yet, get it?) and indicate holidays coming up, etc. The green apple is the current day, and we'll record observations on it like the temperature and weather. The red apples represent a completed day. They are actually pre-shaped post-it notes, which work perfectly for my purposes...we can peek under the green apple to see what we are doing that day, and peek under the red apples to remember our observations for comparison (or under both to see what we did that day). I also splurged on the sparkly letters, which are attached with tape and fully reusable.

All in all, it was a promising beginning to our school year! :)

Homeschooling versus Public School--My Journey part 4

2009-09-08T14:03:00.000-07:00

My final little thought explosion in this vein, at least for now. ;) Again, I want to point out that while I do use strong language here and there, I hope you remember that I am talking about my convictions and how I got there. MY convictions, MY reasons, and MY beliefs. I'm not saying they have to be yours. I hope you can hear my heart, that I am simply trying to do my best with the knowledge and experience God has given me, and that my convictions are strong because I've become convinced. And when you are convinced of something, you are hardly wishy-washy in regards to it!

My own experience of homeschooling gave me some good perspectives and tools that enabled me to pass that gift on to my children. But as I said in my last post, experience alone does not a perfect teacher make. And as is the case for most of the parenting choices my husband and I have made, a careful examination of the facts and realities concerning school became necessary. My fuzzy feelings alone cannot dictate the paths we set our children on, nor Hubby's. He was public schooled the whole way through, and it quite convinced him that public school was a waste of his time and an ineffective means to socialize or learn. Still, we must make our decisions wisely.

The Function of School
One of the first realities I began to look at was the function of school in the life of a child. What was the goal of school? What benefits did it have in the immediate? What benefits in the long term?

Much is made of 'socialization'. But looking at the structure of public school, it is clear that it is at a disadvantage for socialization. In fact, it is not set up on that level at all. Any socialization that happens is subliminal and subconscious; the function of public school is not to socialize or moralize or parent children, but to give them an academic basis of knowledge and skills to develop a whole, thinking person and guide them toward a productive and full adult life.

That is quite a packed paragraph, if you didn't catch it. I could write entire entries on each sentence. What kind of socialization do children receive in school? Children are not permitted (although of course, it happens anyways) to play with their friends all day long, to speak in class unless they are invited to and acknowledged through a raised hand, and they spend the majority of their time with one particular adult throughout the day and one particular set of children who are of the same age and skill range that they themselves are. There is really, truly, very little socialization that goes on in this stifled environment. Recess is quickly becoming a thing of the past, but even so, recess is a short amount of time compared to the amount of time kids are supposed to be staring at the teacher or working in their books or on a project. Certainly, there are some benefits to all of this--group learning, taking turns, how to get along with a group of people, listening to authority figures, etc. But most of the socialization that takes place is not necessarily beneficial at the time, and most certainly doesn't transfer to any point later in life.

In contrast, homeschooling encompasses all of the beneficial things that can be learned in public school, socialization-wise, but eliminates the disadvantages. Almost any disadvantage in homeschooling can be accommodated for, and homeschooling is fluid, varied, wide, and more immersive than public school in terms of a well-rounded social experience. John Holt, a noted author and educator, once commented: "If I could give just one reason why children should NOT go to public schools, it would be the socialization they receive there. In general, the kind of behavior one finds most often in schools is petty, cruel, and mean-spirited."

I discovered that public and private school--the very model of it, in addition to the practice of it--can actually hamper proper social development, while homeschooling was repeatedly shown to enhance social skills. In part, this is due to the sheer amount of hours kids spend in the public/private school environment learning, modeling, and molding to a particular way of life...versus the amount of time homeschoolers are interacting with others. As I said, a lot of what is absorbed is subconscious.

I don't doubt that there is serious intent and indoctrination in schools, but I also think that it is mostly unintentional on the actual individual teacher/school level. But intentional or not, the teacher's values seep into the classroom. How your child is corrected for misbehavior, and how that misbehavior is defined, is out of your control. Research has certainly shown that kids need quantity time, not just quality time, and if the majority of that quantity time is spent with peers similarly mature and with teachers, they become the biggest influence-bigger than parents--and it can indeed be a very negative thing. After all, teachers and schools don't support what you teach your children at home; you are instead encouraged to support what the schools are teaching!

And if you think about it, it makes logical, common sense. Sure, research backs it up, but it makes sense. Kids are in school all day with those people, and then your interactions with them are largely 'secondary'. They do their homework, we all eat dinner, bath, bedtime routine, get 'em up in the morning, etc. What time is there *left* to educate children on morals, faith, citizenship, etc.? Not much, apparently. And the sad part is, research also shows that the best indicator for adult success and staying away from bad choices isn't school experience, but parental involvement.

So, while socialization is clearly not the function of school, socialization, behavior modification, and morality training happens regardless...even if it is a shoddy afterthought in the institutionalized school system. We contemplated this, and decided that we'd rather go with the option that allows for improvement in social skills. After all, how often have you heard someone make a comment about someone else's maturity level in terms of "junior high"? For us, homeschool wins points here, but I have heard this dismissed because socialization is not the primary goal of education. If that is not the primary purpose of school, then what is? Arguably, it should be academics.

Unfortunately, I did not find much better news here.

Just recently, a study came out that found homeschoolers to be on top in every way academically. But this is really just a drop in the bucket...consistently, for years now, homeschoolers have come out on top in terms of standardized testing, college levels, and low drop-out rates. This is mostly regardless of how 'smart' the parents are, their income level or level of schooling.

That's pretty compelling, for me. If academics is the purpose of school, then I want my child to have the best chance at a good academic education. And increasingly, public and even private schools do not fit the bill. I already know that the options available and opportunities are greatly increased with homeschooling, and my own experiences, but now I had the research and statistics to back up my presupposition that if I homeschool my children, they have a better chance in life. And I believe part of this is because the focus of school and the focus of homeschooling are very different.

Education versus Momentary Performance
Interestingly, there has even been a backlash in the institution of school against how it functions. If you've ever heard of Waldorf or Montessori, you are familiar with at least two of many educators and learned professionals that veer from the status quo.

As our system stands, what is taught is mostly taught for the purpose of passing tests. A long time ago, I discussed my issue with this as well as my issue with grades. The problem with teaching to a test is that it leaves out a lot of background information, and is not meant for longevity. A momentary performance in time is no measure of the academic capabilities of an individual. And so I realized that my standards for education run more along that of Montessori or other such educators. School as it is does not promote a culture or curiosity or a lifetime love of learning; instead it squelches it into a mold and regiments it to an arbitrary standard.

Homeschooling, in contrast, can engage the child in an education of the whole person. There is no schizophrenia in how I teach and how we live; no worries about whom is supporting whom and what and if the messages are consistent, quality, and agreeable to our values. And it can happen contentedly all day, every day. I found that public school indeed educates the whole person, but in a fragmented, confusing, and incomplete fashion. Homeschooling is uniform and complete in its presentation.

Uniformity in public school was a problem for me; because children of the same age were expected to perform in certain ways and excused in others without regard for individuality. Uniformity in homeschooling just means a consistent message. Instead of worrying about whether my child is falling behind and thusly labeled, or feeling prideful because she is ahead (and thusly labeled...or frustrated because she is ahead but her age prevents her from tackling the challenges she is capable of), I am able to go at her own pace.

Another concern for us, along these lines, was living out our faith in terms of teaching our children. While I don't believe there is a specific mandate to homeschool, I did not see how we could expect our children to remain godly while most of their education wasn't, and how we'd be able to consider the mandates in scripture regarding parenting.

Deuteronomy 11:18-23, for example: "Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land that the LORD swore to give your forefathers, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth. If you carefully observe all these commands I am giving you to follow--to love the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways and to hold fast to him--then the LORD will drive out all these nations before you, and you will dispossess nations larger and stronger than you."

This is just one scripture that stresses the need of consistency and constancy in teaching our children. It seemed to us that it would be hard to accomplish this if we were abdicating our responsibilities to the state, and handing our children over to others to teach. And, looking at both my own experiences and also statistics, I knew that homeschooled children keep, explore, and flourish in their faith in greater numbers than their other-schooled counterparts. I mentioned in my last post that it is not a guarantee of success, but it certainly helps. The National Home Education Research Institute has found, through various studies, that a frighteningly greater amount of homeschoolers keep their faith, in fact.

My goal for my children is ultimately this: to love the Lord their God with all of their being, and to love their neighbors. Even if they are dummies who can't tell right from left, the most important thing in life is not how they are educated or what level of education they have, but their eternal destination. And while they will, indeed, grow up to make their own decisions, while they are small it is my duty to steward their experiences and shepherd their minds for His glory. For us, this means homeschooling. We just simply can't see how, for our children, we could accomplish that which God asks of us unless we have the time and opportunity to do so, while keeping them safe from wrongheaded attitudes and experiences.

So we homeschool them, with love, tears, prayers, humility, awe, and sincerity. We pray that one day they will look back with fondness on these years, and look forward to many precious years together before they fly the coop.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 3.5

Another excellent post that highlights many of the same subjects I covered in this post: The Case for Christian Education

A Meandering Preamble to part 4 in Homeschooling vs. Public School

2009-09-07T21:35:00.000-07:00

Continuing with my little thought explosion on homeschooling, I'd like to again offer the disclaimer that I am explaining my views and desires and not attempting to make anyone feel badly or lesser for their choices. I am not an expert on life or education and certainly not an expert on what's best for YOUR child. I am simply relating my experiences and opinions in regards to my own life and family.

After all, so far it should be evident that what has formed my opinions is experience. Not just my own experience, but others' experience as well. Experience can be a powerful, valuable thing. Overall, I had a positive experience with being homeschooled. While my experience with teaching my own children started out rocky, it has blossomed into something positive and wonderful as well.

However, experience alone is not the best way to make a decision. The Bible says that "there is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death" and warns us that the "heart is deceitful above all things" (so much for the worldly advice to "follow your heart" and let your emotions be your guide!). It's not that it's wrong to consider feelings, heart, experience, and all that, it's just not a complete picture. So following experience SOLELY, even good experience, can lead the wrong way. For instance, back when we were babies, the harmful effects of formula were still relatively unknown and most kids were formula fed. Most of those kids turned out 'fine'. Fine, of course, being totally subjective...and one never knows the potential that could have been reached otherwise, but still. If this experience solely informed new mothers of today, there would hardly be the growing momentum to breastfeed babies that there is, scientific evidence or no. Or we'd still be giving babies whiskey for their teething pain. Make sense? Experience, even if our perspective on our experience is positive, can be misleading. It's only a tool, it's not the sum total.

Another example is how negative experiences can color what is essentially a good ideal or action. For example, the mother who struggled to breastfeed her first child may not even bother trying with her second. We know that "breast is best" and mothers with more than one child will tell you that every baby has a different nursing story...some babies are natural and some aren't. A bizarre real-life example--to me, at least--are the homeschoolers who did not enjoy or didn't have a good experience being homeschooled and thus decide that they won't do their own children the disservice. This is so strange and confounding to me, because the parents are largely what control that experience. Therefore, the homeschooled girl or boy who wishes not to homeschool have apparently not realized that they are capable of making better choices than their parents did. In other words, the only way they would be passing on the disservice is if they acted the same and treated their children the same way, not whether they homeschool or not. Illogical, emotional reasoning gone awry!

On the flip side,the same is true with objective or studied or proven information. My friend shared a great quote the other day: “Beware of cut-and-dried theologies that reduce the ways of God to a manageable formula that keeps life safe. God often does the unexplainable just to keep us on our toes -- and also on our knees.” -Warren Wiersbe

So often as parents and educators, we like to think that a + b must always = c when it comes to our kids. It may keep enterprising, opinionated writers well paid, but there is no special secret or method or formula! Preying on our fears and our inadequacies, we become convinced that if only we do these steps, our children will turn out perfectly. Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way. Trying to boil down parenting or life to a simple formula ignores some very basic truths and realities...how different every child is, for example, and that what works or appears to work for one child may produce an opposite result in another child. Or, ignoring that children are people too, with their own ideas, needs, perspectives, quirks, strengths, and weaknesses. That all people are imperfect. There is no perfect parent, and no perfect child. Ignoring that you can't control everything...you can't control how your child perceives things, or every single thing they see and hear and think and do. There are simply far too many variables.

To say, then, that homeschooling is the absolute panacea for keeping Christian kids in the faith is unfortunately misleading. Similarly, the belief that sending Christian kids to public school will strengthen their faith *because* of the questions and opposition as well as the kids being a witness and light to the kids around them is also steeped in error. Or, the idea that you are safe by sending your kids to a Christian private school (or Christian college!) will keep them safe from wrong influences. A friend of mine who grew up in private Christian school used to say that she'd never send her kids to private Christian school because it was MORE dangerous for the faithful than public school, and she oughta know because she grew up with all of those kids! Some parents send their kids to Christian school hoping the school will reform them, after all.

In my experience, homeschoolers grow up to be their own people, just as public schoolers and private schoolers do. I know homeschoolers that came from wonderful, godly, Christian backgrounds who grew up to be atheists, and public schooled children that grew up to be missionaries. However, I would have to say, also from my experience, that most of the homeschoolers I know kept their godly faith (in fact, the vast majority) and many of the kids who were public or privately schooled didn't--or at least not in the way their parents wanted them to. There are studies to back this phenomena up, and certainly, common sense. It's not just my experience that informs me of this, but a collective experience and data. However...

What I'm getting at is that there are no guarantees in life. Certainly, we are called to do the best we can with what we have, and God makes it clear that we are responsible for the knowledge He has given us. I also believe He gives us the experiences He does for a reason. This is where trusting God comes in...and using our hearts AND our heads.

I've already given a portion of the heart behind our decision to homeschool our kids. Naturally, there are other things I haven't discussed--like how I want the best for my kids, and since facts, data and experience informs me this is the best, this is what we will do. You know, normal parenting stuff. I love my kids and want the best for them. I've discussed how I want them to be involved in our family and free to make friends, how I want them to have a fun childhood that is free of fret or too much adult-ness too soon, how I want them to keep the faith and keep their innocence. After all, having flexibility and freedom of time enabled me to spend more precious time with loved ones I have now lost and cannot spend time with on this earth. Having flexibility and freedom/quantity of time afforded me with many opportunities and experiences I would not have otherwise had. It protected me from the negative side of peer influence until I was mature enough to handle it. I want my kids to have access to the best quality education. I want them to enjoy their childhood without drudgery, and worry less about the ways they may not measure up aside from working to better themselves. I want them to develop a culture of curiosity and a passion for learning. And I didn't want to miss out on an opportunity for me to grow and be more humble, selfless, and godly.

As I said in my last post, going through our struggles and the realizations I came to, all the more objective reasons for homeschooling made more sense. Some of which I will share in the next post on this subject. ;) To catch you up...
Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Summer Turns to Fall...Time to Pack Away the Sundresses and Revel in the Memories

2009-09-07T00:16:00.000-07:00

This summer was probably one of the best and busiest I've had in a long, long time. I didn't get a chance to do every single summer-related thing ever (I'd hoped to put both girls in swim lessons, we didn't go camping with the mister, and a few other little things), but overall it was lovely. During our spring unit, we grew some green beans from seeds. Quite happily, they did wonderful and produced well...

Our tomatoes, however, did not do so well. We had more sun and more hot days than usual this summer, as well as some scorching temperatures, and they just wilted in the heat. However, they sure grew prettily for quite awhile...

My herbs and flowers did quite well, fortunately.

Truly, one of my favorite things about summer is that it is just teeming with life. Spring signals new life, but summer begins the bulk of the harvest, and there is just so much delicious produce to cook and eat!

Homemade Mango Salsa

We spent a lot of time with friends and family, from various outings to weddings to family camp and birthday parties and holidays and...oh my. We got our cowgirl on...

And celebrated many things. Last summer had many, many heartaches. This summer had heartaches as well, but oh so very many joys. It was very refreshing. We made kind of a really big deal about the girls' birthdays this year...
A swimming-themed party for Sparrow

Plus a visit to a theme park nearby...

For my just-turned-four-year-old (!!!!!!), a gymnastics/ballet-themed party

And a visit to the stables

This summer truly was full of love and laughter. It was busy, but there was plenty of relaxation and peace as well. I am so grateful!

Homeschooling vs. Public School: My Journey part 3

2009-09-06T13:24:00.000-07:00

When I was young I assumed that I would homeschool my children. I fully believed it was the "right" choice in all circumstances (oh, the naivete of youth) and that it would come naturally to me and be easy. It turns out, God has a sense of humor and enjoys using it to humble His children ;). I can say that when it finally came time to dip my toes into the world of formal education, I freaked. I suddenly had millions of doubts, and agonized over whether or not it really was the right choice for Sparrow.

After all, I am not the most organized or disciplined person in the world. Out of my many failures and besetting sins, laziness and slothfulness are my arch enemies and a constant fleshly struggle. To teach another, one must not be constantly spontaneous but have goals and routines and plans. There wasn't quite the abundance of materials when I was in school; now there is a plethora of not only materials but methods and schools of thought on education. I felt totally lost, and totally apprehensive. How do I wade through the vast, VAST resources at my fingertips and choose the right method and materials for my oldest?

Another concern I had was finding like-minded people and friends for Sparrow. You see, when I was growing up, we were involved in plenty of co-ops and lessons and activities so we never lacked for social stimulation. To my great surprise, there was both a lack of types of co-ops that I had when I was young and an abundance of BIG homeschool groups. I like homeschool groups like I like church...small, involved, and personal. Complicating this was the fact I was the only mama I knew that was homeschooling. NONE of my other local friends with kids were. Growing up, we went to churches where homeschooling was the norm. So I felt alone and isolated. And Sparrow is an incredibly social soul, and very gifted in the art of making friends. I wanted to encourage those hospitable, evangelistic traits in her.

Kindergarten was a hard, hard year in which I questioned our decision over and over. Despite trying out several groups, I just couldn't find a good fit or any firm friends. We took classes at the rec center, but Sparrow was frustrated by a lack of consistency in the friends and people she encountered. I was totally lost when it came to interacting with my daughter in a "this is school" fashion, and worried whether I'd be able to be a good teacher for her. I felt like a failure constantly.

By the end of the year, I decided to do some real soul searching and praying and figure out what I was doing wrong. Maybe *I* was wrong, and the right thing for my child would be a private or public school after all. Maybe I was just not the type to be a good teacher. Maybe I was harming myself and my child by trying to hang on to a principle that just plain didn't work for us in reality.

Oh, how I cried, and begged God for wisdom. How fearful my heart was! And yet through it all, my husband and I felt strongly led that homeschooling was the way for our kids. By the end of summer, I had made some important discoveries and revelations, and had found a solution to my social problem. By the end of first grade, we had made friends and had begun to find a good rhythm, and I knew we had made the right decision. And as we just wrapped up second grade, I am more confident than ever in our synergy as a family of learners and in our abilities to succeed, with God's help and blessing, in this endeavor.

So what changed?

The first thing that changed was a big ol' cosmic spanking. I realized that instead of allowing God to work through the task given me to die to my flesh, work through my weaknesses and become strong, I was giving IN to the weaknesses. One thing God has consistently taught me through parenting my own children is that parenting is an enormous opportunity to learn how to put others first. To learn how to give up my rights (not in a bad way, but in a self-centered me-first way), to die to myself, to give of myself, and to trade my weaknesses in for strengths. I've long said that I find it a shame when moms and dads parent their newborns out of what's best for the parents and not what's best for the newborns, because they lose a tremendous opportunity for personal growth as well as subconsciously teaching their children that their needs aren't important compared to mom or dad's desire to sleep or not be attached to a suckling child.

What a hypocrite I was to shirk my responsibilities to my children because it was "hard"! Because I didn't feel "up" to the task! Sparrow and I are a lot alike, so we butt heads sometimes. Yet, who else truly understands her but me? Not a teacher she gets to know over the course of nine or ten months, not the neighbor down the street. Sure, sometimes it's hard to see the forest for the trees when you are in the midst of it, but that keen awareness and understanding I have of my child (heightened by my own self-awareness) is not rivaled and cannot be duplicated. My husband and I have a better understanding of her learning needs and her needs in general than anyone else. It is better to have the outsider's perspective add to mine, rather than my perspective add to the outsider's objective and yet incomplete one.

God promises us grace and strength in Him for the tasks He appoints to us, so for me to say I was unable was a lie in a way. Furthermore, I realized that I was losing out on a tremendous opportunity for personal growth. I could throw up my hands and say "let someone else deal with it!" or I could let God mold and change me through my parenting challenges into someone LESS lazy and slothful, and someone more appropriately ordered and organized. The easy road is almost never the right road, after all. And it HASN'T been easy. There are things I am still working on, and getting better about. But every year has been a vast improvement, and I quite enjoy our journey...even the hard parts.

It is easier for me to shirk my responsibilities as a parent than it is to parent, and easier for me to shirk my responsibilities as a teacher than it is to teach. Another thing I realized, however, is that teacher and parent are one and the same. However you choose to access an education for your children--public, private, or home--you begin teaching them from the womb on. While sitting down with textbooks and purposefully learning about the Declaration of Independence is a little different than the organic learning that happens as you go about your day, there needn't be such a distinction and delineation between the roles. While I do believe that discipline in such matters and structured, formal schooling is a good thing in measured doses, I have come to embrace the unschooling side of myself and try to approach all of our educational experiences as organically as possible. Instead of having a 'time' of learning in the mornings, I want us to develop a culture of curiosity and to be always learning and thirsting after wisdom and knowledge. Instead of compartmentalizing our lives so crisply, I want learning to be natural and simply a part and process of life that takes many different forms.

Key to this was me embracing that I was already doing this, if imperfectly. I read to my children, discipline my children, point out the wonders of the world...just add some math drills and guided learning topics and voilà! School! Secondly, I realized that if I really wanted this ideal for my children, the ONLY place it could *effectively* take place was in our home. I truly felt that putting her in a 7-8 hour school day plus homework would not be joyful learning, but drudgery. And I just couldn't bring myself to do that to her.

Once I had taken the pressure off of myself--that I needed to look at my weaknesses that held me back from doing a good job as an opportunity for growth, that I did NOT have to do it all by myself and be perfect at it from day one (like any teacher is perfect!), that I was already doing it anyways, and that it could only happen with me--all of the other reasons I had for wanting to homeschool in the first place began to make more sense. But that is a topic for another day.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3.5

Part 4

Homeschooling versus Public School--My Journey part 2

2009-09-03T11:54:00.000-07:00

Continuing with yesterday's thoughts, a few more top reasons I love that I was homeschooled. Again, this isn't about me telling you what to do with your kids, this is just background information for why I feel the way I feel. This is about MY choices, not anyone else's.

4. I had access to the best quality education. And I didn't even bankrupt my parents to get it! My mom was very wise when it came to what she could and couldn't do, and the things she couldn't do, she outsourced. Because of our time and schedule flexibility, this meant she could find the best teachers possible for whatever activity or discipline or subject was needed.

I was very grateful for this later, as I heard horror stories from my friends about their teachers...teachers who had majored in history but found no employment in their field and ended up teaching math, teachers who were jaded and didn't care, teachers who were underpaid and overworked. In contrast, my teachers and tutors were knowledgeable about their subject, motivated, compensated, relaxed, and unharried.

The beauty of homeschooling is that a "fit" between teacher and student is already built in! God gives our specific children to us because they are meant to 'fit' in our family. If you think about it, what else is the role of mother or father *but* teacher? We begin educating our newborns without even thinking about it, and I really believe that God is interested in the details and has a plan and purpose for every life. This meant that my mom was the perfect fit for a teacher for me, even if it wasn't always smooth or easy. And believe me, I'm sure there were times she doubted our fit, haha, I wasn't always the perfect child :D We butted heads from time to time, in part because we are a lot alike!

One area I struggled in (and continue to) during school was math. Mom was successful in explaining math to our other siblings, but for some reason, I just struggled. It wasn't until college that I was diagnosed with a math-related learning disability, which made things make a lot of sense. I have a very mild form of it, apparently. The most telling signs were that my math comprehension was high always on tests, but my math application was low. And I was constantly switching symbols and numbers. Algebra was the bane of my existence. I understood in theory how to perform algebraic equations, but every single problem looked different to me.

At the time I was in school, it wasn't a widely recognized or diagnosed issue (although it is related to dyslexia) so that's why, despite tutors and numerous tests, we didn't catch it until later. But I am so thankful I had a mom who didn't give up on me and instead tried just about everything to help me (in addition to manipulatives and other curriculum we tried, we finally to my delight abandoned Saxon for Math-U-See and things really began to click for me). In contrast, I watched friends struggle with subjects and never really catch up, because school is taught to a group of kids, not an individual.

So part of why I believe I had access to the best quality education is that it was tailor-made to me. My strengths were strengthened and encouraged, and my weaknesses were strengthened and taught to. My mom had seven very individual pupils, but was able to spend one-on-one time with them. Again, the things she wasn't comfortable with or knowledgeable with she could easily outsource to a quality professional. In the case of me and math, I needed extra help and that's OK. Not a reflection on her at all; in fact, two of my siblings have *severe* dyslexia. She successfully schooled them into confident readers and speakers, and one of them went on to give an address at her graduation (she graduated with honors), and if you know either of them you wouldn't guess it at all.

And the other reason is because I believe, again, that God put us in the families He did for a purpose. My mom is truly the best mom I could have, and I was the best me she could have. God knew what both of us needed to grow and thrive, and saw fit to pair us together. Furthermore, my mom was interested in making sure I succeeded. Instead of a bored or overworked teacher looking after 50 kids, I had a loving and concerned one who had plenty of time to tend to my specific learning needs. And as a bonus, she was a constant in my life from year to year.

Of course, another bonus of this was extra time with Dad. He, too, was hands-on with our education. At one point he helped me with math, for instance, since he seemed to be able to explain it to me in a way I could grasp better. He also took it upon himself to school us in logic and critical thinking skills, buying books and sitting with us as we did puzzles and brain teasers and learned the finer points of reasoning. My mom and dad are very different, and therefore we got a good balance. As already mentioned, my Grandpa B also contributed greatly to our education and he was different from either of them, as well, and had a different way of teaching and explaining and different focuses.

Sometimes you get a really great teacher, and the next year you get a bad one. There's no way to really control this, and no real way to 'fire' the teacher. You could always roll the dice again at a different school, but what happens the year after that? In contrast, when we had a teacher that didn't fit for whatever reason at, say, ice skating lessons, my mom was totally free to find another one quickly and easily. This is what I am thankful for about my education. I experienced all of that first hand when I went to college; I had some professors that were wonderful, and others who were clearly not in to teaching despite it being their profession. I'm so glad that I had a good basis of knowledge and a good understanding of my learning styles by the time I reached higher education.

5. It saved my school career and possibly my life. I often shudder to think how different things would have been for me, how differently I would have turned out, if I didn't have my parents to champion on my education.

One thing I have not mentioned here is my period of homeschooling wasn't all the way through. I actually started out in traditional school. Dutifully, my mother sent me to preschool, then half-day Kindergarten. I really enjoyed Kindergarten. It didn't take up my whole day, and we spent most of the time playing. I learned things there that I still remember today. I liked my teacher enormously. But I did miss my family, and my free time. I didn't know any better, however, so I went along with it.

When I started first grade, however, things changed. I went to a small private Christian school, and I had another great teacher. I liked HER enormously too. Our class size was small, so we all got some individual attention. My peers were largely from Christian families with similar values, and while there was definitely some cliques and such already, nobody swore or disrespected the teacher. But instead of a few hours a day playing with friends, it was "all day", sitting in a hard seat and being bored out of my mind. And I do mean bored. I remember spending most of the time lost in my own little imaginary world *because* I was so bored. I remember the time the teacher caught me pretending to "eat" the grape charm off of my charm bracelet (anyone remember those?!)...I was pretending to be one of the Greek gods and was being fed grapes by my attendants. She confiscated it, and I was so distraught. I was embarrassed at being caught and corrected in front of everyone, and after that I was known as "the weird kid who talked to herself".

This was enormously damaging to my self esteem, and while I had many friends, they began to dwindle because I was "weird". Kids can be brutal when there is no corrective adult presence. The other issue was, I didn't appear to be learning anything. They decided to test me, and they called my mother in for a grave conference. They explained to her my low intelligence and that I was, in fact, severely dyslexic and would never learn to read.

This shocked and puzzled my mother, for she knew I was perfectly capable of reading. She had employed the program "How To Teach Your Baby To Read" with me and my brother B with success. It turned out, those skills had atrophied while I was in Kindergarten NOT using them. Because they naturally assumed I couldn't read and didn't in those days have any kind of reading readiness, we just focused on other things like shape recognition and colors. And so in first grade I was so bored with learning things I already knew, and wasn't interested in, that I had become very confused.

I'm a little fuzzy on what all went down, but what I do know is my mother refused to accept this about me, and immediately pulled me out of school and began researching homeschooling. At the time, there weren't comprehensive programs for learning-disabled children, so her choices were either to let me continue to struggle and be labeled, or to homeschool me. She bought the program "Sing, Spell, Read and Write" and went about re-teaching me both the basics of reading and a love of learning. By the end of the year I was consuming chapter books (Nancy Drew, Little House on the Prairie and the Boxcar Children were favorites of the time). By the end of third grade I had developed a fondness for Shakespeare (even though all the innuendos went right over my head, haha) and read many of his plays. In fact, I became a voracious reader and read nearly every volume in both my parents' library and my Grandpa B's.

I'm so glad my mom didn't give up on me, and so glad she took my full-time education on herself. I wouldn't have accomplished what I did in life without her help and wisdom.

6. I was able to enjoy my childhood without drudgery. I love the theories of education that shun formal, structured school until children are 8. While I haven't done that personally, and neither did my mom, I do believe that we foist an adult-like lifestyle and schedule on children far before they are ready for it. Way before Waldorf, Montessori, and Mason were 'hip' my mom was finding ways to engage our senses and encourage us to explore our world. I am just so grateful that I got to spend most of my day engaged in play...I believe all play is ultimately productive, but a good bit of that play was what others consider "productive" play. It wasn't a wasted experience.

One of the elderly ladies we befriended through the Friend to Friend network had a saying: "You are young so short, and old so long. Enjoy your youth!" This dear old lady would tell us this every time we came to visit her. It was like she had to desperately impart this to the children. She never asked us about lessons, she asked about what fun we were having. And it's true. There is time enough to transition into adulthood, and to begin a career. I don't really think that transition needs to begin at three. All of childhood is a slow slide toward responsible adult, to be sure, but I mean that having all the constraints of a career (must be here at such and such a time and stay, whether you want to or not, until such and such a time, five days a week) without having hardly any of the benefits just seems unnecessary to me.

On the flip side, being at home and playing gave plenty of opportunities to transition into adulthood in a natural, gentle, friendly, and appropriate way. We helped prepare food, had chores, played with babies, observed elder care as my mom cared for her ailing grandmother. It was my job to fix Great-Grandma E's cornflakes in the morning. She liked it a particular way, and at ...I think I was six? seven? well whatever age I was, I took great pride in assisting her this way.

By the time I was 10, I could confidently care for kids, change diapers (both cloth and disposable, my mom used cloth exclusively though), make breakfast lunch and dinner, balance a checkbook (I learned that from my elderly neighbor, Mrs. M), garden, order my activities for the day, organize my own lessons, plan and host a party and be a hostess, clean the house (not that I hardly did...sorry Mom!), and a whole host of things that every adult needs to learn, regardless of vocation. And in fact, I was already a very proficient cook. One year I made my parents anniversary dinner, because I knew they didn't have money to go out. So my sisters and I made up a dance for entertainment, I phoned my Grandma M to bring a dish of her scalloped potatoes, I baked a roast and my brother made a salad (or I did, I know someone did...). I saved up my pennies and bought some fancy sparkling grape juice and made a new "wine" label for it. We decorated the kitchen and tried to give them a memorable anniversary, with my sister and I dressed as 'waiters' and trying our best French accents out. I wasn't even ten at that time, I think I was 8 or 9.

Of course, kids can learn these things no matter what their educational situation is, but the point is, I was immersed in these things, and they were relaxed and fun. And because I had so much time to play, it made the 'work' of life easier and more exciting. School was a fun challenge, not drudgery (OK, except for math) and chores and schoolwork took up very little of my day. This is not a reflection of the quality of learning, either; I find it an experience across the board that homeschooling just simply takes less time to learn the same material.

These are just a few of the reasons my own homeschool experience has informed me and encouraged me toward choosing this for my own kids. I could really go on and on, but I think for the next post I'd like to discuss why I chose this for my children specifically.

Part 1

Part 3

Part 3.5

Part 4

Homeschooling versus Public School--My Journey, part 1

2009-09-02T22:13:00.001-07:00

As we are about to begin yet another year of schooling at home, I find myself reflecting on what brought us to this decision. I love homeschooling for so very many reasons, and believe that it is in general a far better option than public school or private school. I have seen so many people make "impossible" situations work for homeschooling (single moms, for one). Every time I hear a story about that, it just blesses me because I do believe often times it is the best option for children to be with their parents and not their peers for the majority of their day. I am not God, and I can't know or comment on every experience and situation. I can see how some people would find it to NOT be ideal in every circumstance. I'm not here to judge that, or to write a persuasive essay on why everyone should homeschool. This isn't about me trying to give my opinion about your decisions. ;) Your decisions are between you and God. I have reasons for thinking and feeling and believing and acting the way I do on this subject, but rather than an informational essay on the awesomeness of homeschooling, or a scary news article about the declining state of education, I want to talk about my journey. I'm not here to proselytize.

No, instead I want to talk about MY decisions and MY feelings and beliefs...the whys and the whats. For instance, one of the biggest reasons I homeschool is because I know the benefits first hand--I WAS homeschooled. Some of the best things about my childhood came of this, and I really believe it prepared me for life in all of the ways that public school is supposed to, and did a better job of it. Additionally, I feel like it prepared me for life in ways that public school can't, but are necessary life lessons nonetheless. Not that I am perfect or have arrived, or that I didn't have a season of rebellion. I did. But I had a wonderful base to come back to, and a foundation with which to build and rebuild my life that I would have been desperately lost without. My top reasons for appreciating and loving that I was homeschooled:

1. I got to spend more time with the people I loved. This became especially pertinent when we suddenly lost my Grandpa B. We lived with him until our house was built, and then he moved in with us. He was a huge part of my life, and he naturally became part of our homeschooling experience. I can't even describe how precious that was to me, and I will always cherish him sitting with me as I completed another stupid Saxon drill (OH GOSH HOW I DESPISE SAXON MATH), how he encouraged my interests in biology and science, how he never missed a soccer/baseball/basketball game or a ballet performance. He helped me with my science projects, and he taught me a lot of things both in and out of the context of 'school'. At one point, when we were in a short season of time that my mom had to work at a hospital, he presided almost entirely over our education. It's not that grandparents or parents don't or can't do these things with their kids if they are in public school, but often times they are just on the sidelines and not at the helm--and moreso, the AMOUNT of time, the INVESTMENT of memories and the relaxed quality of it all was the important part. When you love someone, every second you spend is precious. When you lose someone, you don't have an opportunity to spend more precious seconds with them.

Losing Grandpa B when I was a teen was one of the hardest things I have ever been through, and I mourned that my younger siblings wouldn't have as many opportunities to share those things than what I did. But I was thankful, and still am, that we all got to soak up his wisdom, knowledge, love and care through our homeschooling experience. I wouldn't trade that for the world. It was so important for us to have spent that time with him. We didn't know when he'd be taken to heaven; it was a sudden and unexpected event. But as I translate my experience into how I parent, I hold that thought...I don't know when I will be taken, when my parents or siblings will be. Do I really want my kids to be away from us for the majority of their waking hours? If I didn't have the opportunity to spontaneously trek the kids to Grandma M's for breakfast whenever we pleased, I think I would mourn that keenly when she trades her earthly body for a heavenly one.

When you lose someone important like that, it really makes you aware that what is TRULY important in this life is love. God's love and love for others. Relationships, the only thing we take with us into the next life. I believe our memories are a part of who we are as well, and therefore it is important to invest TIME and make good MEMORIES with the ones you love.

Homeschooling offers the flexibility and the time to do that. And time is short; we don't know the day or the hour. The more time we can spend with friends and family, the better. There is much to be learned from the older generations, as well, and the family dynamic (both the immediate and singular family unit of mom/dad/kids and the immediate family of aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins plus extended family) is both the building block for a good society and a place to really learn how to live in harmony with everyone. You just can't pack that into a few rushed hours in the evening and weekends.

2. I had more opportunities for a wider range of experience, and a better platform to more fully explore my interests and strengthen my weaknesses and non-interests. Homeschooling meant that I wasn't locked into any particular curriculum, or limited by time in regards to extracurricular activities, nor limited by the extra or intra-curricular activities set by the school. It's incredible what an extra 7-8 hours of time a day can unlock in terms of how you spend the day's potential. We had years where we didn't do much, and years where we did a lot. I have no idea how my mom kept up with 7 individual schedules! I do know that had we all been in public school, just the fact that there *were* seven schedules would have greatly limited our opportunities--because again, there is only so much you can pack into the few hours before a healthy bedtime and on the weekends.

I'd like to point out that this is one reason we laughed heartily at the snide suggestions Mom was shortchanging us on "classroom experience" and "socialization" and "peer experiences". Believe me, I still got plenty of "classroom experience." I think I had more friends in childhood, I mean honest-to-goodness-best-friends, than I do now. I had more TIME to have friends, for one. I was lucky to have some friends in the neighborhood who also homeschooled, and one of the beauties of homeschooling is that it doesn't TAKE seven hours to teach all the appropriate subjects to one child...so we got to go have fun for hours until my school-aged friends got home. Then we played with them. I met so many people constantly, in so many different kinds of situations, in so many different ages and stages, that I was not locked into one way of relating to people. Instead, and I have seen this with other homeschoolers as well as my siblings--I find that I am able to easily relate to and converse with just about anyone, no matter how extreme our differences. At no point in life will you ever been in a pack of your peers, so the fact that I was rarely subjected to that was a blessing, not a curse.

I had an opportunity to witness this in action when I went overseas on a mission trip. The first part of my trip consisted of a seminar/conference for the organization I went with. This organization was sending out missionaries all over Europe, and gathered all the different teams together for debriefing and training.

All of the women slept on mats in a huge, HUGE gymnasium at the college hosting us. On the very first day, (on the bus from the airport in fact) I met two young Korean women. I smiled and conversed with them and was generally pleasant. The next meal we had, I saw them and asked if I could sit with them. They were astonished that I wanted to, and I asked why. You see, they had already been at the conference center for a few days, and I was a late arrival. The big group of Koreans all came from the same church and were all going to different places in Europe, but none of them had perfect English. Furthermore, their English was American-English, not British-English and most of the other people in the conference were European. Therefore, they had huddled together and had felt very lonely and frustrated, not always understanding what was going on. Meanwhile, not ONE SINGLE ENGLISH-SPEAKING PERSON HAD APPROACHED THEM. I was shocked. I *had* noticed already that just naturally, people had arranged themselves into peer groups mostly by country, but everyone was at least friendly with each other. In the gym, the Korean women were far over in the corner, and the rest of us were more clustered loosely together. I decided this was not good, so I sat with them at breakfast and talked to them. At lunch, I did as well. By the end of the day, I had a veritable fan club of Korean women who were asking me what this word and that word meant and telling me over and over how much my friendly smiling face and helpfulness meant to them. They invited me over to their corner, and I moved my bed over and hung out with them the rest of the week. By the end of the week they had taught me the Korean alphabet, and had called me "little sister." They even gave me the honor of referring to them as "big sister". By the end of the week, I had invited more English-speakers along on our free time adventures and shared meals, and had helped my dear Korean friends integrate into an English-speaking world.

I really credit this to my upbringing, and to the Lord's favor and hand in that particular situation. Just a little bit of kindness and obedience on my part. Later, a few of the English-speaking girls admitted that they had pretty much ignored the Koreans because they didn't know how to interact with them as they spoke mostly Korean to each other and it was out of their comfort zones.

But I digress. Like I said, homeschooling provided me with more opportunities and gave me a readiness to take on different situations (like a bunch of Koreans in unfamiliar and uncomfortable surroundings who needed a friend to bridge the language gap) and a hunger for learning. My hunger for learning was nurtured, not squashed, while homeschooling because I was given opportunities to learn a variety of things and also explore them as deeply as I could. Certainly, I was made to learn certain things I could have cared less about (MATH). There was opportunity for me to learn the valuable life skill of undertaking a task I did not wish to undertake, and to do so with excellence. But there were far more hours of the day to not be forced into learning but encouraged in it. I appreciate my wide background almost every day, and hold invaluable my love of learning and quest for knowledge.

I realize that "more opportunities" sounds subjective, and it is. I am speaking from my observations and experiences. There are definitely public schooled people out there who have had far more opportunities and experiences than I did growing up, and homeschooled people who had less. I'm not talking about absolutes in this case, I'm talking about potential. More time per day plus an entirely flexible schedule means more opportunities in common sense thinking. :) A homeschooler's schedule is entirely customizable and the possibilities that open up with the time and flexibility are nearly endless.

3. I kept my innocence for a long time in the ways that mattered. Anyone that knows me knows I had a period of rebellion, in which case I did not keep my innocence. However, by the time this occurred I was nearly an adult, and these things were my poor choices rather than choices made for me by the peer group I was in, or due in particular to any failure of my parents. It was all my failure and my sin, for sure.

But I really value the care-free childhood that I had. Things like sex and drugs didn't even appear on my radar until much later other than my parents talking to me about their dangers. And because there is alcoholism in our family and I am who I am, I am REALLY thankful that my parents drilled these things into me. I never became a drunkard, never used drugs, and tried out the smoking thing but abandoned it because it was so gross and I felt so guilty.

But back to the childhood. Instead of worrying about bullies and peer pressure and all that sort of thing before I was old enough to really deal with it effectively, I worried about whether the "Little House on the Prairie" series did the books a great disservice by being so totally inaccurate. :P My mother was a pro-life activist and a staunch defender of the unborn, and even at an early age I knew in a basic way what an abortion was and why it was an anathema to God. My parents were involved in various ministries, and even just by themselves did a great many charitable things.

What I'm getting at is, instead of having my innocence shattered by my peers and my bad decisions over petty things, I kept it, and kept a sunny outlook on life despite being aware of some of its horrors. Instead of focusing on myself and how to make myself popular or happy, we made little craft projects and cards for the forgotten elderly in the nursing home around the corner. Instead of developing a worry about whether my chest size was adequate, I helped my parents serve meals to the homeless.

It's not that public school children don't get opportunities to serve, or that these things can't be done by anybody. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, homeschooling gave me a right perspective on life that I appreciate even more so today. My parents did their best to keep us God-focused, and others-focused rather than 'me-centric'. As a parent, I find this to be a constant battle. Because we are all sinful little creatures, and our natural tendencies are for selfishness and me-centeredness. So I'm thankful that I only had to navigate the ropes in the security and safety of my parents' oversight and that my big worries were on things that mattered, and my small worries were on the natural things of actual childhood and not the advancing sexualization of the younger set. And as a parent, I particularly appreciate that they took so much of their time and their lives to help me navigate these things. As a parent, I want to do the same for my kids--therefore, it makes sense to me to spend the majority of their time with me, not just learning ABOUT these things but making service part of our normal daily lives while at the same time protecting them from things they aren't ready for.

I think this post is already too long, so I will sign off for now.

Part 2

Part 3

Part 3.5

Part 4

The Man in Dad's Car

2009-08-11T19:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I sat down with our local parks and recreation catalog to plan out some 'intracurricular' activities ;) Yes, summer is almost over, and the school year proper shall begin anew. I've been looking through the materials I already have, and trying to figure out what I want to do about math and history and other subjects. It's very exciting to plan the things we might learn, it is tedious to me to figure out how. I just fret too much, I think, trying to find the perfect fit for each child. One of the beauties of homeschooling is you really can learn anything you want to learn! :)

One thing I've learned about myself, too, is that if I don't plan ahead, I WILL fall behind. Another thing I have learned is that I love to be busy in the fall, not busy at all in the winter, and somewhat busy in the spring. So, if there are some short courses I think would be fun (a watercolor course for my aspiring watercolor artist, for example), fall is the time to plan them. I will only resent them in the winter. I learned this the hard way in college...summer courses are a no-go, 21-26 credits is great for the fall and 15 is about right for winter quarter. The winter quarters I tried to take hard courses or took on too many credits, I ended up dropping them. Sometimes I wonder if I have seasonal affective disorder, because my energy and motivation goes WAY down in the darker months. Again, this is why planning NOW, when I'm not in the thick of things, is key. Who knows, maybe I'll figure this homeschooling thing out BEFORE my kids graduate. Miracles can happen!

And as I think about these things, there are some words the Lord has pressed into my heart about this next year. Perseverance, Service, and Excellence. I want to be those things, myself, as well as impart them and help condition them in my children. As part of that, I've decided we need to step up our game in terms of learning the Bible and being godly and having a real, tangible, ever-present relationship with the Lord. So I'm thinking of ways to go about this...and was brought back to MY childhood. My parents weren't perfect, they didn't do everything great all the time, but frankly, I feel lucky to have the parents I did. Even for the ways they failed; I had the advantage of watching them do so and face those failures with humility and a desire to learn from their mistakes. I can't even express how instructive that was to me.

One thing I think they DID do right (and a much better job than I have so far) is obeying Deuteronomy and keeping God's word before us as much as possible. When we were kids on a road trip, one of the things we were guaranteed of was that The Man would be on in whatever car we were in.

"The Man in Dad's Car" and "The Man in Mom's Car" were the words my little brother used to describe the Bible on CD. Not a dramatic version or Bible stories, just the straight up Bible, verse by verse, word for word. My mom preferred one version, and my dad had another version, and the narrators were different. Thus, different 'men' ;) We spent many an hour trekking around the state listening to familiar and obscure Bible passages. And it wasn't reserved just for road trips; we listened to it (along with classical music and the Christian radio station, or AM stations...when I was young, one of my favorite programs was "Gateway to Joy" with Elizabeth Eliot) on the way to ballet lessons and church, field trips and Christmas visits to the grandparents. I am thankful for this, even though sometimes we would have preferred to listen to something else.

So...I think one of the first investments I need to make this year with our homeschooling budget is to find a Man for our trips as well :) It turns out, there are a lot more options than there were ten or 15 years ago! I am excited and prayerful, and trying not to fret over 'perfection' TOO much ;). Does anyone have a favorite "The Man" for your listening?

Plant Identification Help

2009-06-02T17:09:00.001-07:00

So, I bought what I thought was peppermint. After I'd planted and admired it for a few days, however, I noticed it looked a lot different than its tag:

It smells minty. It tastes kind of grassy, but kind of minty too, with a definite 'cooling' sensation in my mouth. The tag looks more like this peppermint:

Light green, bigger leaves, more upright plant.

I think it was, perhaps, mislabled. My actual plant is darker green, smaller, denser leaves, and seems to be spreading rather than growing up:

Ack! I planted it in my 'edible' garden full of herbs and edible flowers. I don't want anything in that garden that is inedible. I looked online, and it seems there are more varieties of mint/peppermint than I thought. For instance, this picture looks a lot more like my mystery plant:

It is described simply as peppermint. Which is encouraging, but notice, again, the upward growth. So maybe it's a variety of mint? I thought maybe Chocolate Mint, a cultivar of mint, and it does look similar, except there is no darker discoloration in the middle like this plant:

And while the stems are very green, there are stems that resemble the chocolate mint in this way (also, chocolate mint is a spreading ground cover):

Can anyone help me identify my plant? Or should I take it to a master gardener or something? Where should I take it? I'm serious about everything in this box of the garden being edible...I've even planted edible flowers.

"Suffer for Beauty"

2009-06-01T21:21:00.000-07:00

My Grandma was a trained beautician in her youth, and I grew up enjoying her hair cuts and perms and such. When I would get frustrated at sitting for long periods of time while she fussed with curls in my hair or whatever, she'd say "suffer for beauty!"

For a long time, I thought that this was terrible advice. I mean, I like pretty clothes and shoes and purses and looking nice. But I am a very au naturel, non-fussy girl. Why in the world would I give up minutes of precious sleep to spend it flat ironing my hair and putting toxic product in it? (Commence with the hippie jokes) Requisites for my hair cut is that it can't take an hour to do every morning, because I won't. I know I won't. I've made the mistake of getting hair cuts like that, and I just look terrible most of the time. You'd think if I cared that I looked like poo, I'd care enough to do it, but no, sleep is more important in this stage of my life.

My views on this have somewhat changed...I think it's good to look nice and it's polite to present yourself well. I had some strange ideas that wearing make up or doing my hair was like putting on a mask, rather than enhancing your pleasant points and drawing attention away from your less pleasant ones. I'm at a stage in my life where I am not totally happy with how I look, but I don't feel insecure, just motivated to do better because I know I can. And I know my husband appreciates it when I put effort into my appearance. Still, though, suffering for it (unless exercise counts) is not really on my radar. And that's ok, no need to get all ascetic about everything. ;)

I was tending to my little garden today, and her words came back to me. And suddenly I realized the profundity of Grandma's statement. I realized that she wasn't attempting to justify the 'torture' of smelly curlers in my hair, but noting that beauty is worth effort.

Some things are beautiful totally naturally. This doesn't mean no energy or effort goes into it, but when the Lord paints a sunset, we don't really do anything to make it so--it doesn't require extra effort on our part.

Other things that are worth having do require effort, and sometimes are incredibly costly. Creating beauty is one of God's most pleasurable characteristics that that we enjoy, and I believe we are meant to do the same. Not just as image-bearers, but we are called to beauty--a beautiful heart is a humble heart, for instance. Beauty is treasured in every culture in some fashion (even if what defines beauty is different), and God certainly seems to treasure it as well.

I wonder if that is why one of the most twisted things in our culture involve our beauty standards and projections. That is a different topic for a different day, perhaps.

Excellence always comes with a price. Anything worth doing is worth doing well, anything worth having is worth the hard work it takes to have it. True beauty is costly, too. An artist does not pick up a paintbrush for the first time one day and create a timeless masterpiece. A dancer does not walk onto stage with no training and perform feats of grace and strength equal to Baryshnikov or Graham. The beauty I am trying to create in my garden doesn't happen with a leisurely hour one afternoon. There are weeds to pull and plants to water.

Inner beauty doesn't happen with a random decision one day. It is a cultured pearl, a pressure-made diamond. A friend of mine has a quote in her journal, "beauty will save the world". I think she is right. Beauty educate, moves, inspires, realizes, imparts knowledge and subtlety, requires discipline and effort, and brings people together. Beauty holds profound truths, and wraps them in such a way that we can endure the starkness of the truth. After all, how much more beautiful and precious was Christ's sacrifice? Beauty will change the world, because Love itself is beautiful, and the works Love produces are beauty itself.

Beauty is well worth the effort it takes, for it enlightens and enriches us. What is life without sunsets? Music? Art? Empty. Selfish. Beauty isn't created for beauty's sake, or for the beauty-maker to enjoy alone. Beauty is a way to share love and joy with the world while bettering ourselves in the process. Suffer a little lost pride and gain some beautiful humility. Suffer a little time and gain a new skill. Suffer a little hard work and run a marathon. You and those around you will be the better for it.

My Favorite Cornbread Recipe

2009-05-16T15:38:00.000-07:00

Courtesy of All Recipes:
Homesteader Cornbread

INGREDIENTS

* 1 1/2 cups cornmeal
* 2 1/2 cups milk
* 2 cups all-purpose flour
* 1 tablespoon baking powder
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 2/3 cup white sugar
* 2 eggs
* 1/2 cup vegetable oil

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). In a small bowl, combine cornmeal and milk; let stand for 5 minutes. Grease a 9x13 inch baking pan.
2. In a large bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, salt and sugar. Mix in the cornmeal mixture, eggs and oil until smooth. Pour batter into prepared pan.
3. Bake in preheated oven for 30 to 35 minutes, or until a knife inserted into the center of the cornbread comes out clean.

"In the Trenches"

2009-05-11T11:17:00.000-07:00

"The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly." Proverbs 15:14 NIV

We live in an information age. It is easier to connect to people than ever before, and I don't just mean the internet. Phones, planes, bookstores, libraries...all tools of the seeker. Sometimes, however, it can be hard to discern what is good information and what isn't. When I'm researching a topic, I try to find as much information as possible, from as many different points of view across the spectrum of bias. Bias, reliability and integrity are very, very important to consider especially if you are browsing on the internet. Because truly, you can find every opinion under the sun out there, often times complete with "links" or quoting "studies" (or twisting scripture) to prove their agenda. I once had a friend give up on breastfeeding because she found a page on the internet claiming that formula was just as healthy, if not healthier, than breastmilk and she decided it wasn't worth the trouble. Yes, seriously.

Always check the sources. See if they come from widely-accepted, reputable sources. And always read the actual study--I can't tell you how many studies I've come across that were politically motivated in the dissemination of information (vaccine studies for example) and how, if you actually read the study, it really proved something entirely different, or didn't actually prove anything at all. Always consider the bias. I try to find the least biased information I can, AND the most biased. I don't usually quote from the most biased, but reading both sides of the argument is a great way to find the commonality and pull apart the hyperbole to find the truth. And always consider the agenda. Everyone, even me, has an agenda. Agendas can be good (simply desiring to pass on information, love, concern, etc) or bad or somewhere in between. Why is someone presenting the information they are presenting?

As great and wonderful as it is to research a topic, some things are better learned by the ol' fashioned way--the examples of the godly men and women around you. I find both to be valid, and in some areas, both to be necessary. Sometimes the advice you get from friends doesn't really hold water with the information out there (i.e. old wives tales, or 'absolutes' on how to raise your babies), and it's good to do a little of both. I was lucky, for example, to have a mom and family who believed in the importance and superiority of breastfeeding, but I have met many women who had no support in that area, and had they not been exposed to information about it, would have simply gone along with the norm. On the other side, had I not had experience with cloth diapers thanks to my mom, I never would have considered it, information aside. The idea would have been weird. I've learned things by research alone that have been very valuable, and I have learned things from friends, family, and older wiser women. :)

As a Christian, I am constantly being exhorted in the Bible to consider and think. Wisdom and knowledge are different, but related. We are commanded to have discernment and encouraged to think things out on our own, and we are also encouraged to find reliable, reputable counselors. We learn wisdom and knowledge from our parents, and teachers, and pastors, and co-heirs with Christ. And we are commanded to hold all of it up to the light of scripture, for the Lord is our ultimate and final source of wisdom, discernment, and knowledge.

Particular to motherhood, we are often encouraged to be instructed by older women in the Lord. This is right, and good. But I have also learned a lot of valuable information by my sisters toiling alongside of me. Chances are, most of the older women in your life who have raised kids to adulthood won't remember all the ins and outs of every day life in the trenches. My mom wasn't very far removed from babies in the house when I had mine, but she couldn't remember everything either. She could convey a lot of big-picture stuff, but not all of the details. When a friend needed some info on a health concern in her baby, her mom had no idea...it was her younger sister who had just dealt with something similar that was able to light the way.

I get a little concerned, therefore, when I hear things like "Oh, you only have one kid, you couldn't know as much as the woman with 8" or "She's only 25, you shouldn't take advice from her". Chances are, the information regarding child rearing that your mom and their mom and sometimes even, their mom's mom, was part of the grand experiment of enlightenment. In the recent past, science has done a lot of good and not a whole lot of harm in child rearing. I do find it amusing that we have come full circle in many ways as to what is most beneficial for a baby. But over the last 100 years or so, much misinformation was spread around (i.e. don't pick up a crying baby or you'll spoil them, the whole formula debacle, feed your baby on a schedule or else, etc.) and women stopped trusting in themselves and the older generations and started parenting for science and their own convenience's sake. Not because they were all lazy and selfish, but because they thought it was best, as they were told it was.

Not all older women have misinformation obviously. My mom, for instance. She has been an invaluable source of wisdom, knowledge, and comfort and a wonderful, godly example in my life. I'm not saying we should throw out their knowledge and experience. Merely, balance it against common sense, decades of research, and a little realization of the baby as an individual. You see, every baby is different. Even among siblings, what works for one won't work for the other. This is where experience of others, both older seasoned women, and your best friend with kids the same age, comes in handy. Scheduled feedings might have 'worked' for Mary's baby, but they sure didn't for Jane and Amanda's, so you can feel confident to do whatever it is that is best for YOUR baby.

So I'm not saying, hey, Titus 2 doesn't apply. I'm just saying Proverbs 15:22 also applies: "Without consultation, plans are frustrated, But with many counselors they succeed." (NAS) Finding a balance of information and the discernment to apply it properly for your specific situation to your individual baby is the key, not necessarily which avenue it comes from. There are very few 'only one' right ways to raise a child, and even most of those are qualified. Breastfeeding, for example, is always best and superior...except when it isn't. I'd say it's the 'only' right way to feed a baby (certainly, the normal, God-designed, superior-to-formula-in-every-aspect way). But if your baby has galactosemia or you have AIDS, then it isn't. In fact, it could be fatal. So for 99.9%, it's best. For a miniscule amount of people, it's not. Though you will be sold a great amount of "do this and your child will turn out perfectly", there is yet to be found the perfect method that applies to all children for all time. The Bible doesn't even give us exact, step-by-step instructions for every miniscule little detail of every stage of development. It gives us all the necessary principles, and everything we need to make good decisions, but not all of the specifics.

I've discovered a great wealth of help and information among my peers...those a step ahead, those a step behind, and those right there with me. I've discovered many things, too, that friends have been convinced of that simply wouldn't fit or work with our kids (though it certainly did theirs), and even some out-and-out wrong information or ideas or practices. That's where wisdom comes in, of course, and discernment. I'm just saying, don't discount the single mother of an only child. She may have something valuable to pass on to you as well.

Simple Woman's Daybook, May 4th

2009-05-04T11:51:00.000-07:00

I see these pop up on friends' journals and blogs I frequent once in awhile, and I love them. :) My favorite Simple Woman's Daybook is on HsKubes' site. She always has such nice picture thoughts, and somehow even just reading about her day and week is always uplifting in the Lord and encouraging to me as a homemaker/homeschooler/mother/wife. I thought I'd try my hand at one...

For today, May 4th 2009:

Outside my window...
It is bright, very bright, but cloudy. My kind of Seattle weather :) Not too hot, and not dreary.

I am thinking...
About our busy week...starting with some heavy-duty housecleaning

From the learning rooms...
Working on our science fair project today primarily :)

I am thankful for...
My husband finally acquiring employment and starting his new job today!

From the kitchen...
To celebrate the new job, BBQ'd corn-on-the-cob and California Chicken Burgers, plus salad and watermelon!

I am wearing...
Jeans and a blue shirt

I am reading...
A beautiful new children's gardening book for ideas this week

I am hoping...
To find a way to pay rent! It can't be put off much longer, and it will be awhile before this new job he started today yields a paycheck.

I am creating...
Rainbows :)

I am praying...
For a smooth transition, favor, energy, friends, and quick adaption for Hubby today, for good integration into his team and good understanding, quickness of mind, and ability to do all the tasks, new and familiar, before him at work from now on.

Around the house...
Probably the worst my house has been in a long time! Therefore, I am housecleaning and the only school we are working on is the science project.

One of my favorite things...
Oreo cookies...so good, but so bad for you...

A few plans for the rest of the week...
Tomorrow night, getting together with my sisters to discuss wedding details (my youngest sister is getting married in a month!!)...maybe going for cupcakes with a friend...hopefully having dinner with a dear friend and her family on Saturday...and in general, just cleaning house and doing school :)

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you...

from our recent trip to the tulip fields

He is Risen!

2009-04-12T20:21:00.000-07:00

He is risen, indeed!

I hope you all have had a blessed Easter! Due to illness, I didn't quite feel prepared, but you know, the great thing about God is that He meets you where you are at. And Easter is all about Him...I am thankful for His gift.

Speaking of being 'all about Him' and gifts, each year we do Easter baskets for the girls. Each year I strive to keep the focus on Christ and also maintain life principle integrity. I try to be as 'green' and non-commercialistic as possible. This year, I didn't quite go as far as I wanted to (the lack of preparedness...been sick for about two weeks with type A influenza). But I hope that my girlies could experience the joy of Christ's resurrection and the feeling of the gift through our gift...

This year I tried to choose things that represented what, precisely, Christ's death and resurrection achieve for us.

Each girl got a coloring book and two picture books mostly for fun...one book each was about Easter from a Christian perspective. Then they got a dark chocolate cross...death for the Christian is bittersweet. Death has lost its sting, and it is through death--Christ's, and our 'old man'--that we experience true life. They each got a new skirted leotard and a pair of tights for ballet class, and that represents being clothed in righteousness. Through Christ's death and resurrection, we are made righteous, and we put off our old man and on the new life in Christ. It is based on Isaiah 61, specifically 61:10 "I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels."

To represent the death and resurrection, each girl was given a packet of seeds. Jesus uses wheat kernels (seeds) to illustrate how death brings more fruitful, abundant life and therefore the seeds represent His death and life as well as ours. The baskets were chosen to use as planters for the green beans we are going to be planting :) (see? environmentally friendly!).

Lastly, I made each of the girls a "crown of life". Through Christ's death and resurrection, we have the gift of eternal life. It also represents our inclusion into the Body of Christ and family of God, as heirs and co-heirs with Christ (Romans 8), therefore we are daughters and sons of the Most High King. And finally, it represents our reward in heaven and acknowledges that our true hope and home lies in that realm, not here. The term 'crown of life' comes from Revelation 2:8-11 "“To the angel of the church in Smyrna write: These are the words of him who is the First and the Last, who died and came to life again. I know your afflictions and your poverty—yet you are rich! I know the slander of those who say they are Jews and are not, but are a synagogue of Satan. Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days. Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of life. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. He who overcomes will not be hurt at all by the second death.""

The brown vine along the bottom represents the crown of thorns that Jesus' wore, but because He already paid the price and death has lost its sting, it is blooming with red 'roses' and no thorns. The middle is a heart, the color white was chosen because He has washed us "white as snow". The gold embroidered part is meant to be evocative of wings/heaven and our reward there (plus the pretty flowers). On the inside, there is a strip of red satin ribbon. It is meant to represent Jesus' blood which washes us white as snow (so when they put on the crowns, they put on His blood but you can't see it, you can only see the whiteness).

Here they are all set up, with some hershey's kisses and robin's egg-filled plastic eggs:

The girls enjoyed their gifts and also the lesson. It was a good beginning to our Easter Sunday, and put us all in the mood for church and further worship and learning. :)

Just Like New

2009-03-29T18:19:00.000-07:00

Every year around Christmas time, we do a small culling of the toys that the girls are involved in to give to charity. We did a much bigger culling this year, and then again recently, Hubby and I cleaned out their room from top to bottom and reorganized things. We got rid of a LOT. And some of their toys, I put in a box and put in the garage.

I decided it'd been long enough since the last rotation, so I brought in some new books and toys. And to my kids, it was just like they'd received a new gift!

I rotated in their Melissa and Doug wooden tool set, and they've happily played with it all day. Currently, Sparrow is playing "nurse" to Ginger's "surgeon"--or so it sounds, as the way she says "Hammer!" etc. sounds like she's asking for "scalpel! sponge!" etc. ;) Ginger is visiting all of our furniture, and calls out "hammah!" "skoodwiver!" "wrench!" as she finishes "using" one toy and tosses it aside. Then she declares the item built or fixed. It's very cute.

And best of all, it was free, because we already owned it. They are rediscovering the toy and have that "we just opened this present" kind of joy and wonder about it, but only because it was "out of sight, out of mind" for a couple of months in the garage. If you don't already do this, I highly recommend rotating toys in and out of their play area. In fact, I can even give you a handy little list of why you should try this frugal tactic:

1. It's free! Your kids probably (if they are anything like mine) get bored with their toys after awhile, and want to have fun with something new. My kids don't watch TV, and don't see a lot of commercials, yet they do desire to get and enjoy getting new things (my theory on this is that they are normal kids, and that I overly encourage this by spoiling them with gifts since that is how I show love *sigh*). Unless you plan to say "too bad so sad", break the bank with a steady amount of toys, or at least fill your house with clutter of stuff, be it garage-saled or dollar-storebought, this will be hard to accomplish. The advantage of keeping back a portion of their toys (be it most, half, or only a few) is that when you do bring out that "new" thing to play with, you won't have spent any extra money. It's like a toy library, but in your own home! Toy libraries are awesome, but by utilizing your own personal version, you cut down on travel time and expense ;).

Therefore, by "making old things new again", you are making an incredibly ingenious and frugal choice. Easy on the pocketbook is good! Your kids get the satisfaction of discovering or rediscovering a toy, and you keep that money in your pocket.

2. It cuts down on visible clutter, which serves some very important and worthy causes. It makes your home more inviting. My favorite...there is less to clean up later. Organization and a streamlined place promotes learning and satisfaction.

And believe it or not, by giving your child some choices but not TOO many, you enable them to function more efficiently and happily. Small children especially become overwhelmed with too many choices. You've probably noticed, if you have a large amount of toys (especially in one spot) that a good majority of them will get ignored for long periods of time anyways. If you ask your toddler "would you like to wear your green shirt or your blue one?" they feel empowered and confident, and are generally capable of making the choice or offering a third acceptable alternative. If you say "What shirt do you want to wear?" they will take a much longer time deciding and may even become frustrated.

The same is true of toys. So keeping a smaller amount of toys available serves up a decluttered one-two punch of awesomeness--it limits their choices in a healthy way which facilitates learning and empowerment/contentment and it cuts down on clutter which facilitates learning and contentment. Win-win-win!

3. It bucks commercialism and encourages gratefulness. Instead of buying into the "gotta have mores" and giving in to the "gimme-gimmes", your kids learn to appreciate what they have. Because there is only a portion of toys available, I have found through personal experience that my kids enjoy their toys a lot more and are happy to have them. When I sense they are getting bored of same ol' same ol', I reintroduce some of the stored toys, and they are grateful anew for those toys. And then, when it's time to reintroduce the put-away toys, again, grateful anew. Delayed gratification, simplicity, gratefulness, and a lack of consumerism are good moral lessons and important life skills that are best learned in the childhood years.

4. It's good for the environment. Going hand in hand with consumption/consumerism, instead of constantly acquiring more stuff, you are doing a micro "reduce, reuse, recycle" loop while maintaining the happiness of the family unit.

So there you have it. And lest anyone think I am this amazing paragon of clutter-free zen, I am a recovering pack rat. :) This 'rotating the toys' thing is new for me, but I've been so pleased with the results thus far that I felt like passing along my newly acquired skills and knowledge. Slowly I am taking my home from cluttered and overcrowded to simple and functional...I am on a learning journey myself. This is a message from the trenches, if anything. I found something that works for me, maybe it will work for you too!

Working toward clutter-free...

In this corner of the room sits their dolls and stuffed animals on the doll cradle. Under the bed is an under-bed drawer that holds dress-up stuff	Here is their big stuffed horse and kitchen play area, where the play dishes are stored

The closet, where their board games and linens are stored on a shelf (not pictured). Board games stacked, and the linens in storage bags. Their clothes are here, and all the rest of their toys, contained and organized in those three drawer-storage units. In the corner between the closet and bed the current selection of books are stacked, and the bottom drawer of one of the dressers serves as additional storage for art supplies. On top of one dresser sit some books that we are reading together, and on the other, hair things and such are stored.

Homeschooling Giveaway!!!

2009-03-26T17:19:00.001-07:00

Sonbeams is giving away free awesome stuff for preschoolers and homeschoolers! Go check it out at Sonbeams. You'll see a bunch of giveaways under the blog tab, and they will only be open for a short time. So get on it!

Finally Home

2009-03-25T14:12:00.000-07:00

I'm not a huge 'contemporary Christian music' fan, but I do enjoy much of MercyMe's repertoire. "Finally Home" is my current obsessively played song:

It's been a comfort to me as the 10th anniversary of Grandpa Bob's sudden passing approaches, and as I deal with Uncle Bernie's end-stage prostate cancer, and deal with Uncle Ken's recent passing from prostate cancer. This is somewhat a tender subject...so I hope I make sense. It's hard to write about some of the people I have lost, recently and otherwise.

Death hurts those who are left behind, and yet, we have hope. Death has lost its sting. Last summer I heard a worship song for the first time, at a friend's funeral, and I thought how appropriate and yet bittersweet it was. He died way too young from a tragic accident, one that we all prayed he'd be healed from. God DID heal him--He just chose to take him home to do so.

Hillsong's "Mighty To Save"...the part that stuck out to me at the funeral was the chorus:

Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is mighty to save,
He is mighty to save
Forever, author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

When a loved one is taken to heaven, we often wonder...God promises that He heals, and that we ARE healed. He IS mighty to save. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. He raises people from the dead and shapes the deep. So why not my Uncle? Why not Grandpa? Why not my friend?

I have come to believe, through scriptures and experience, that sometimes the way God heals is by calling them home. The reality is, this world is a pit stop. The reality is, ALL men will die. The reality is, the truest end to suffering is to be absent from our decaying bodies in this decaying world and present with the Lord. The reality is, our bodies will be new and perfected in heaven, not here on earth. The reality is, we are in this world, but we are not of it. The reality is, we are visitors...our treasure, our true home is heaven.

Because, you see, that is our treasure, and our hope. Jesus conquered the grave. Our earthly death does not extend into death eternal, but life eternal.

So yes, we mourn the loss of family and friends. But my mourning is tempered by the fact that I will see them again someday, and there will be no more tears and no more death. They suffer no longer, and in fact are in the presence of our savior--I am somewhat jealous of that!

I don't have all the answers, and I feel deep pain concerning these losses. Fortunately, I serve a loving and compassionate Father, who is not afraid of or turned off by my questions. I may not understand why He chose to take my friend when He did, or why it happened in the first place. Or why my Grandpa was taken so suddenly and too soon. But what I do know is this: God is good, despite my circumstances, and one day, I will no longer see dimly in a mirror but will see clearly. One day I will forget that I even cared for this world at all. One day my focus will be on life with Him, and not this very moment. One day, we will all be together, and we will finally be home.

Making Your Home A Haven is BACK!

2009-03-23T11:00:00.000-07:00

OOooo I'm so excited to have these back. Crystal over at Biblical Womanhood is taking a bit of a sabbatical and has been handing some of her weekly blog carnivals off. I haven't seen "Making your Home A Haven" in awhile though, so I am glad that Tammy has picked up the torch...she's perfect for it! (And if you're wondering where in the world Frugal Fridays have gone...it has a new home here at Life as Mom.) You may recall, I wholeheartedly threw myself into it when it first appeared, and participated as I was able here and there--even if I didn't blog about it.

Today's challenge is basically establishing a simple, must-do morning routine. Sounds easy enough, right?

Well...I imagine for most people...but me and the mornings are on a nonpspeaking basis right now. If I have any sin of indulgence (ok I have lots >.>), it's staying up too late and sleeping in too late. I'm a night owl, but have found I *can* get to bed at a reasonable time. I am NOT a morning person, but I can also get up at a reasonable time as well. The trick is actually doing so.

I tried doing that "up at the crack of dawn" thing, the "morning watch" thing, many times in my life and I've determined I'm just not wired that way. No matter how much I tried to be pious about it, trusting that God would keep me awake and coherent, trying to get to bed earlier, doing all of the physical and spiritual things you are supposed to do (Laine from Laine's Letters inspired the longest jag of this), it just never worked out. I would still hit a second wind about 8 or 9pm, and despite being exhausted and trying to sleep, rarely would I fall asleep before midnight. I would drag myself out of bed post alarm, and would not find coherence until the mid morning hours. Often, I would miss out on what is traditionally my most productive time--late afternoon--because I would fall into a fitful catnap.

So, ok. Getting up at four, or five, or six, did not produce any of the promised results. Quite the opposite, in fact. And it felt so cruel and unfair, when my kids would rarely fall "asleep for the night" before ten or eleven, and not wake until eight or nine, but there I was trying to function on a few hours of sleep--forced to stay up because of them, and yet envious of their ability to sleep in.

On the other hand, I discovered that if I got up between 7 and 8, especially before the girls, I *was* able to focus, get more done, have some meaningful quality time, and plan my day. So, I may not win any "Most Spiritual Morning Person Of The Year" awards, but it works for me and my family.

The trouble is, lately? I have been going to bed way too late and getting up way too late. And it honestly screws up the whole rest of the day, even if I only sleep in a little bit. Ashamedly I must admit, my kids get up before I do! They are old enough and behaved enough to amuse themselves (and even get themselves a snack if they are hungry, which they usually aren't when they first wake up...), and I have been taking advantage of that. But! thanks to this challenge, I have a renewed sense of ~~conviction~~ purpose to point my body in a healthier direction and take charge of my day again. Woo!

Today's challenge was to list five, and only five, things you must do (or plan to do) every morning. Here is mine:
1. Quiet time with Jesus
2. Make breakfast
3. Get dressed/kids dressed (shower)
4. Straighten kitchen/kids make bed and straighten their room
5. Set out lessons for the day

Simple, I know. My most productive theological time is hardly the morning, but it is the time when I can most easily sit at his feet and be ministered to. It's quality time! Even if I'm not exploring profound mysteries, I am experiencing them. It's my "Mary" time. "Martha" time can come later. Also, I find that I often end the day with a messy kitchen. After a day of cooking, it is the absolute last thing I want to do. But I find that in the morning, I am more likely to straighten it up, and if I purpose to do it every morning, it is just so much easier. Seems like a no-brainer to make breakfast and get dressed, like...why would I even include that? But seriously, there are days when I'm doing good to have that done, and it just sets the tone for the whole day. Important to start the day right, it is. :D And even if we don't start lessons right away, it's important for me to focus and know what I'm doing that day, or it's harder for me to get the ball rolling.

So there you have it. To participate in today's haven challenge, visit this post at Tammy's Recipes!

Music and Beauty

2009-03-20T21:45:00.000-07:00

Have I ever mentioned how much I love classical music?

Well, I do.

In part I know this is due to my parents' influence--indeed, my whole family's. They were insistent we be well versed in arts and cultures, and especially music. If there is one gift my parents gave me that I am most grateful for, it is their hand in my faith in Jesus, but a close second may be aptitude and appreciation for music. I suppose I had really no choice in embracing the works of Bach and Beethoven; I was literally surrounded by it. It's in the genes. Both my parents are accomplished musicians and singers; my grandparents on both sides loved arts and culture as well...my Grandpa Bob could be just as soon found listening to the classical radio station as the oldies station, for instance, and my grandparents on both sides took me and my cousins and siblings to many a play and museum and concert.

As part of our education and general life skills, my mother insisted we all learn an instrument or three. I can remember being very, very young and walking the block and a half to the church/school we lived next to with my brother B, attempting to keep our violin and cello cases from bumping the ground though they were (at least in the case of his cello) pretty much the size we were. And I remember walking the two blocks to a local piano teacher's house to have our back-to-back lessons. I am thankful that our musical educators incorporated a wide variety of styles in our repertoire.

My true unabashed love affair with classical music, however, came from two distinct places. I also took dance lessons, mostly ballet...I believe it was my second or third year of ballet, when my body began to act less like an awkward, gangly colt and more like a graceful but shy swan, I discovered the intoxicating power of music and the innate ability to translate that into movement. It was like everything clicked into place for me. We had an accompanist that year who played the most amazing, beautiful pieces. From pliés to dégagés we could go from a melancholy mourning Petroushka to a happy, flitting Firebird. This is my truest form of musical expression, and one that I was very good at. That year, I began to deeply appreciate the math, the technique, the mood, the cycles, the stories, the clockwork, the beauty of classical music, for the stories it spun in my head and flung fluidly out my limbs were as vibrant and real as if they were happening before me and not just in my imaginings.

The second distinct place came from an amalgam of this newfound kinesthetic expression and my family background...the Chopin I danced on the floor, my brother B was beginning to play on the baby grand.

Out of my family, I am probably the least musically inclined, which means I am decent. I can sing, but I'm not going to cut any record deals. I can play the piano and violin without murdering anyone or encouraging feline caterwauling, but not exactly at performance level (any more at least).

Two of my brothers are particularly gifted with the piano, and one of those brothers, particularly gifted at interpreting the works of Chopin. I have a deeper understanding and love of classical music thanks to my talented siblings, but Chopin is my absolute favorite, and that is thanks to my brother.

Not even in the greats have I heard a more raw and compelling capture of the mood and cadence behind Chopin's works, particularly his nocturnes. I truly went through a period of mourning when this brother began to play less and less these works, as he was on track to go places with his music. However, he took his gift for music and went in a different direction. I am no less proud of him, I just miss his gift for Chopin. He still went places...just not the places I envisioned for him.

Nevertheless, the haunting minor key melodies move me still today in ways I cannot describe but through movement, and even then, 'tis a poor conveyance. I feel every beat, every note, as though I myself wrote it--at times, even moved to tears--and am pouring out my heart. I hear his Nocturne Op. 72 #1, and I am transfixed...enraptured, enthralled, and moved.

Not all of the composers are or were Christians, or wrote for the glory of God. Yet when I hear this music, I hear the spark of the Divine. I hear the gift that was bestowed among men...made a little lower than the angels, the Heavenly Choir, the poignancy of free choice, of emotion, of thought and ideas. I hear the precision of the heavenlies, the ordered tick-tock of atoms moving through time and space, the cycle of the seasons. I hear, most of all, His gift of love.

I am grateful that I am able to experience such majesty...lowly, unworthy me. It points me to the cross and to heaven, and reaches into the beauty of heaven and brings, just for a moment, the smallest taste of it.

"A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul."
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything that is beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting -- a wayside sacrament.
Welcome it in every fair face, in every fair sky, in every flower, and thank God for it as a cup of blessing."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us: and establish thou the work of our hands upon us; yea, the work of our hands establish thou it."
Psalm 90:17

Afternoon Delights

2009-03-20T17:09:00.000-07:00

Each cup of tea represents an imaginary voyage. ~Catherine Douzel

This afternoon we had an impromptu tea party. I love to plan special things for the girls, but it's just as wonderful and important, I think, to go with the inspiration of the moment...dropping my plans temporarily to delight in my children and let them know how special they are to me.

Tea pot is on, the cups are waiting, Favorite chairs anticipating, No matter what I have to do, My friend there's always time for you ~Anonymous

A Proper Tea is much nicer than a Very Nearly Tea, which is one you forget about afterwards. ~A.A. Milne

I used the Harney & Sons chocolate mint dessert tea Hubby and I purchased on our most recent anniversary, and the french press my Daddy bought me for Christmas (my new favorite way to make loose leaf tea)

Come, let us have some tea and continue to talk about happy things. ~Chaim Potok

Of course, I prepared a fresh apple snack to go with our afternoon tea adventure, and poured and sweetened the tea to suit each taste.

Come and share a pot of tea, My home is warm and my friendship's free. ~Emilie Barnes

As you can see, I have tea cups. I collect them. I love them. I often buy one to mark a special occasion. From left to right, the white blossom tea cup was purchased in Victoria, B.C. on our first anniversary trip; the middle white one was purchased for Bonnie's birthday--I gave her one and kept its twin (a tradition we have); and the one on the far right was picked out and purchased by Hubby for me on our honeymoon.

So we took our apples and our tea cups, having spread a blanket out on the living room carpet...

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. ~Alice Walker

And had the loveliest time!

Pour me a little more tea, would you dear? I can drink it till it comes out of my ears. ~ Garak, Star Trek DS9

While there's tea, there's hope. ~Sir Arthur Pinero

More Promises Broken

2009-03-16T21:56:00.000-07:00

When Obama was on the campaign trail, he made some promises to our war vets about how we'd care for them when they came home. He said that we needed to treat funding for their health care and housing as part of the scope of war funding. He in fact just turned a pretty speech talking about it.

What he doesn't tell you is that his grand plan for taking care of veterans of our wars and expanding their health care is actually forcing private companies to take on the burden (or reimburse the VA for doing so), and puts the burden of acquiring insurance back on the veterans themselves.

...what?

Yeah. Seriously.

Is he TRYING to collapse the health care industry? (key to eventually nationalizing it) Is he TRYING to slight the veterans? For all this talk about taking care of the people, it seems he is more interested in paying out banks and greed than caring for average joe. Naturally, various veterans associations are furious, as well they should be.

Sigh.

It is like, he doesn't actually really care. I would characterize many upper politicians this way, but the slickest seem to be these left leaning Democrats. You know, the ones who go on and on about social justice and the need for more government programs to benefit the little people...but aren't keen on footing the bill themselves. Us, yeah, the constituency is fine. But not them. No matter how much they "believe" in what they are peddling.

One of the things that amazed me was cabinet candidate after candidate who owed thousands in back taxes...seriously? You insist we pay you god-awful amounts of money to push your agenda regardless of voter sentiment through Washington, on promises of ending the war (although you voted to extend it...hmmmm...) and of sticking up for the average joe as well as using our money to help the poor and needy, but you couldn't be bothered to pay into that system yourself?

Hypocrisy is not hope, it is hope deferred; corruption is not change, it is renaming the same old system. Same government, different mascot. It's enough to make me heartsick.

Hee Hee

2009-03-12T13:02:00.001-07:00

We've been trying for more children for 2 1/2 years now. Lately Sparrow has been talking about wanting a little baby brother, and when I told her that we've been hoping and praying and trying for just that very thing for awhile now, she decided that a better plan was needed, since the one before obviously isn't working.

Step One: Mom and Dad give each other gifts
Step Two: Mom and Dad kiss at least three times
Step Three: Sparrow prays

Let's pray it works ;)

Pragmatism and Tolerance - half-formed, baby thoughts...still percolating

2009-03-04T14:16:00.000-08:00

"Grey areas are a comforting myth for the weak minded. What you are actually looking at is the zoomed out perspective of a complicated landscape of blacks and whites, rights and wrongs, ons and offs. The idea of grey is just a convenient way to be oblivious to the foundations of thought and decision, and to be able to claim ignorance to the true measure of your decisions." ~ Robert Taft, 2009

I like that quote, and the thought behind it.

I've seen a disturbing trend lately, foreshadowing of the "last days":
2 Timothy 3:
"But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God--having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them. They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth.
Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these men oppose the truth--men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone.

You, however, know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose, faith, patience, love, endurance, persecutions, sufferings--what kinds of things happened to me in Antioch, Iconium and Lystra, the persecutions I endured. Yet the Lord rescued me from all of them. In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evil men and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." (emphases mine)

I'm not sure when people got the idea that a watered down, anything-goes Gospel is the Narrow Way, but as I look around my generation and the generation before it, I am AMAZED at the subtle but powerful heresies that have wormed their way into mainstream Christianity under the banner of 'tolerance' and 'love.' I'm amazed at the idea that all ideas and beliefs are equally valid and relevant--unless your idea and belief is conservative Christian of course, then you are clearly in the wrong. The hypocrisy of this new pragmatism is stunning, truly, but somehow never caught on to by the hypocrites themselves. It sickens me when people confuse OUR responsibility with the government's (self-love and selfishness at its finest-clothed deception...I'm talking to you, Jim Wallis--thou silver-tongued puppet of the libs), and refuse to speak up for or protect those that it IS the government's realm to protect. The flip around is ridiculous, but increasingly, alarmingly, prevalent.

And as I open my eyes, stop ignoring it, and step up to the plate as it were, I find myself increasingly marginalized and ignored by those I used to call family and friend. I beg God to take away my burden for the lost-among-the-found, but it only increases. I have a dozen posts swirling, but I can't bring any of them to bear for fear I will get it wrong...not in the idea, but in the presentation. I want to proceed with respect and love, not condemnation and arrogance. Because heck if I know everything. I don't have all the answers. And no use trying to convince anyone of anything if I put them on the defensive by being too abrasive--I'm blunt, and I've made that mistake a time or ten before. ;)

I'm not especially intelligent or bright, I'm not the most spiritually perceptive person in the world, but I have been blessed recently with some illumination as to the clever deception being spun right now, and I wish so desperately to snatch the wool away from people's eyes. But I can't. Even if they listen to me. So I pray instead that God will move their hearts, and at the end of time, that when the response to the question "when did YOU feed me, clothe me, and visit me in prison" is "I paid my government to do that for me, I think it did" doesn't result in "depart from me, I never knew you".

Forgive me for the rambling nature of this. This is just really a small piece of a larger puzzle, and a shallow and perhaps un-segued bit of what's swirling around inside me right now. So if it sounds crass or overly broad, I apologize. Sometime I will attempt to more fully, more understandably and more kindly write on this, but it's so near and tender right now. I was talking with a dear cousin last night, who is of similar mind, and she was relating how persecuted she feels just for having the opinions she has. I understand how she feels completely. But God never said bearing the truth would be easy or make us feel good. The truth may set us free, but it is not without its own demands. I think of Jeremiah and other truth-seers who were persecuted for what they could not help but speak. At least I am not alone, as he was, and I take great comfort in that.